TOMORROW!

I have never been able to spell that word right (tomorrow). Did I? I can't remember if I ever got it down correctly in my head or not.

Well I am madly crazily cleaning my house (in between many sitting breaks) and doing all the laundry that has acquired. I am a nervous wreck about my c section tomorrow (that word again). All normal worries that any woman has, will my baby be ok? will everyone in the family get along? will my huz be a nervous wreck watching the two yr old for a few days?

I should have nothing to worry about considering I have the greatest family ever and I am so glad to have a lot of siblings that are all so unique and awesome individually and together. My parents couldn't be more caring and generous and my grandma is just absolute frosting on my life cake. But unfortunately I have a human brain that just can't help but worry anyways!

LOve you all and I will post pictures next week! Come visit the hospital between Thurs night and Sat night if you want!!!!!!!!!

ROCKY BALBOA

Jarrod and I did a rare thing last night. We went to a MOVIE at a THEATER. Oh and we realized why we never do this...... 2 tickets, small popcorn and a coke $26. THAT IS NUTS!!!!!!! The tickets at Grapevine Mills mall are $9 now. Jeez! Well anyway it was truly nice to get out with him. I can't tell if he realizes it as much as I do, but we really hardly get time just to ourselves, but when we do it is a good time and that kind of brightens up my heart and mind for a few days following. We saw "Rocky Balboa", as Jarrod is all into those movies and pretty much has them memorized. It was a good movie, I thought. Considering it's been like 16 years since the last Rocky movie came out, the characters were very consistant and so was the story.

So now I am 38 weeks and one day pregnant, which is farther along than I have ever been. I was about 32 weeks with Gold and exactly 38 with Mahna. Today was my last "thursday" of being pregnant and next Thursday morning I will be at the hospital........ That is if all goes as planned. :)

AAAAAAAAAAAAh

Time is flying by! Oh my gosh only 9 days (well less than that) until Cole is born! Mahna and I have been making the most of our days together. Although I get grumpy with her here and there I think we are really making the most of our few moments left alone together. Yesterday we spent the day with my mom which was fun and today we spent the day with Jarrod's mom, which is a very rare treat. We ate Italian food for lunch and I sold some CD's to add to Jarrod's Christmas gift fund. I am trying to save up to get him an IPOD! If you talk to him, don't leak the secret. He never reads my blog so I'm not worried about him seeing this. He has been talking about wanting an IPOD forever and ever. I think it is something he will really enjoy, but we will see if I can sell enough stuff to get it by Christmas or not! If not I can always just buy him a few smaller gifts and that will be cool, too. A good thing about Movie Trading Company is they will give you $2-$3 per CD even for old stuff, where CD Warehouse only gives you like a dollar and is much more picky about scratches. I ran into two grumpy people today. One at Movie Trading Co. The alarm went off right as I was walking in the door. Here I am 9 mo. pregnant with a 2 yr old and my very innocent looking mother in law with me, and yet I get suspicious looks for the whole 30 min I was in there. The girl at the counter was so snotty when I gave her my CD's to sell and then she came around to the back of the store and asked me if I needed help while looking at my big purse not at me. The second grumpy person was at Kid 2 Kid or however you spell it. It is a resale kids clothing store and this old hag who owns or runs that store has no concept of customer service or friendliness. She always acts so annoyed to anyone coming in there to sell things. It is a resale shop!!! DUH. Anyway she nitpicked something about each item in the bag and was so rude and bitchy about it. She just made me feel like crap. Oh well. It isn't the first time I have gone in that store and said "never again will I walk thru this door". (said it to myself) ANyways, tonight my neices are coming over while Jarrod's parents go see a movie. Mahna is watching tv so I better go try to get something done before they all get here!
TOODLES

more focused then

I was just re-reading my posts from a few days before Mahna was born. It is funny how I was feeling a lot of the same things then that I am now. And this time I keep thinking that everything is sooo much more uncomfortable this time etc etc. I do think well know that I am bigger this time so I am hoping that means a bigger baby (Mahna weighed 7 lbs) and not just that I am more of a heffer this time. But most of the complaints I have this time are same as last time like heartburn, sleeplessness, backpains, worry over bringing the baby home. Funny though before Mahna was born I was saying "how do people have a kid at home and still make it thru pregnancy?" Now I know, you just do. You just make it through whatever is thrown your way no matter what in life, right?

8 days to Christmas, 11 days to Cole

Well I still haven't called my long lost friend. It is just nice to know that I "can" now, I guess.

Mahna and I went to Southlake town square w/ my mom and gma last night. It is a really pretty peaceful place. All the lights and the fountain were really cool. We also went to a groovacious toy store called The Owl's Nest which I could have dropped a couple hundred bucks in last night easily. I noticed last night that I tend to gravitate toward looking for things my neices would like to have. It makes me wonder if I will "know" what Mahna likes when she is their age as much as I feel like I know what my neices like. I think I always want to buy something for them cuz I feel sorry for them not living with their parents. They don't have a grandma able to spoil them like my mom spoils Mahna, either. Mahna is blessed in a million ways. She has so much love from all angles and then my parents and grandma always showering her with gifts on top of that. She has four very cool aunties who love to play with her...... etc etc.

After that little outing we went to the snobby neighborhoods to check out their christmas light decor. Mahna really has enjoyed looking at Christmas lights this year. I have always liked looking at them too and it is cool to have an excuse now to do it a few times a week! :) We drive up and down the streets in our neighborhood looking at the same lights over and over when we are tight on time but no matter what it gives me some kind of peaceful feeling to look at lights on houses and trees when it is dark outside.

Something very strange....

Okay something strange is going on. I am 37 weeks pregnant, 2 wks and 2 days from Cole being born and I am feeling really great.... physically. This seems very strange. My back is not hurting, I don't feel nausous, etc... Now mentally I am a little SNAPPY here and there but even that is better than I seem to remember before. How wierd! But I am glad!

My neices and mother in law came over for dinner last night. Jarrod cooked burgers and I made pasta and beans. It was fun having a nice evening with my mother in law. I don't see her much, don't really "know" her well so that was cool. We watched the "DaVinci Code". That movie was so wierd. I think a really freaking crazy person must have written that. It is an interesting concept, to think of a group of people so devoted to protecting some huge secret for hundreds of years. Watching it with Jarrod and his mom, I had a feeling of wishing I knew all about the bible and had tons of things memorized so I could like argue against the movie. I let the feeling pass me quickly, remembering that if God wants something done or known, it is not all up to me. He is the one who is all powerful and can do what needs done. There is no reason for me to worry.

I found one of my friends on MYSPACE that I really liked a lot in highschool..... the early part before I got too into Jeremy and too into drugs. She moved away and we lost track like 9 years ago I guess... So I found her and she lives in Alaska! I have talked to her online a little but haven't called her yet. Funny thing about having a two year old, there are only certain times you can really talk on the phone and this chick has no kids so a screaming one in the background or even just a constantly interrupting one may be misunderstood. What can I say, some things I just OVER worry.

Thanks for reading!

picturesssssssssssssssss

Target Sucks

I would just like to say that Target is not what I thought it was. I registered there thinking this store is a step above Walmart, ya know. But nothing I registered for is even in the freakin store (registered online) and the whole baby section is allllllways a disaster, completely unorganized and unbalanced. The only thing you really can find there is an expensive sippy cup or Amy Coe blanket (which are awesome but overprice blankies). Then there is the return policy!!!! You can't return more than two items per Y E A R without a receipt, even for store credit!! That is really bonkers. Anyway I would highly recommend not registering there for any reason. I am all about Walmart again (for that "type" of store) they have way friendlier employees and and easy returns system that doesn't make you feel like a thief or a toddler.

Trying to post pics on here, too, but Blogger is just saying "can't process your request". Hmmmm. Maybe tomorrow.

19 days til Christmas, 22 days to Cole!!!!!!

happy showering

I must say I was given the coolest baby shower ever on Saturday. Kendra had everyone decorate onesies and burp cloths (sp?) and they all turned out so awesome. It was fun to NOT have games and a lot of structure. People mostly sat or stood around talking, eating and drinking. I enjoyed it so much and everyone was so thoughtful with their gifts. It is always enjoyable having people over to my own house. It is always cool to see out of all the people you would want to come who actually WANTS to come! :) I know there were a couple ppl who wanted to but couldn't and of course out of towners that definately couldn't. So thanks to all who helped and all who came! It was a great memory of a day!

ALSO have to give a shout out to NIKKI! My dearest oldest bestest friend got engaged this weekend and is very happy about it! I am so excited for her to get planning on her wedding and a new phase in life. Love ya mucho!

the date has been set

We have set the date for Cole's birth. Thursday, Dec 28 at NOON. Please feel free to come visit us at Lewisville Hospital between 3 pm that day and Dec 31.

pics

Mahna and Franky and Penny

it always works out that way

Yesterday I was thrilled to wake up for the first time in 4 days to a bed that Mahna's diaper had NOT leaked pee on. I literally washed sheets and matress pad and remade the bed 4 days in a row. My dear friend CinCin knows how much I LOVE to change sheets. HAHA. Of course I wake up all happy and then 5 minutes later Penny (dog) pukes on the bed. STUPID DOG!!!!! (If I was kind and not a grumpy pregnant heffer I would be worrying about why poor Penny was sick at that moment).

Last night I finally slept HARD, for longer than four hours. BUT of course my dear sweet sleep like a rock thru the night daughter woke up crying at 4:30 am and was REallY upset. It took me about 10 minutes of trying to comfort her to figure out she just wanted to go potty in the potty chair instead of in her diaper. After that she was fine. But it just figures. LOL Then on top of that I was watching my nieces today so they got here at 8:15 and I WAS STILL SOUND ASLEEP! I had to get up and I have enjoyed them so I am not complaining, it just figures, when I physically CAN sleep, I responsibly CAN NOT.

Not that my dadeo reads my blog but I would like to say thanks to him and my ma for getting me a wireless keyboard to hook up to my laptop so I can type again!!!!!!!!! Yippeeee

a decent computer!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally I get to post from my mom's computer where I can type normally. Of course I whine all the time about how annoyed I am with my keyboard,but have i called Dell to ASK how much it would be to fix it? NO! I hate phone calls. I have had to call back and forth lately with our mortgage company because our loan got purchased and I had already made the payment to the old company. They have reassured me a few times now that the money will be transferred to the new company, but a friend of ours who is even a loan officer himself, got screwed when his loan got purchased. SO we are nervous........ Jarrod more than I, and being extra careful.

I am so tired today I can't even think correctly. Now I know how L felt the other day when I was at her house. She is less than 2 wks from due date andI am about 6 wks away........ I just can't get comfy at night, no matter how many pillows. I want to sleep so bad, I look so forward to quiet bedtime coming...... Then I may go to sleep for 3 hours or so and I wake up with my tummy being rock hard, my back and hips hurting and my shoulders hurting because I have to sleep on my side, my uncomfyness wakes me and then my brain turns on and once it gets going the night is O V E R. It sucks. I am considering getting my tubes tied after this baby is born. Any advice on the subject? I just can't imagine ever wanting to get pregnant again. Plus this will be my 3rd C Section.

Dad's got our fajitas cooked so TOODALOO!!!!!!!!!!

picture

with our dog before we got her groomed

halloween with cousins

few-moments-alone

I would say these moments alone right now are semi-unwanted.
Mahna woke me at 3:30 and couldn't get comfortable again until after 4 so I was pretty wide awake by
then. My insomnia is getting annoying. Luckily a lot of days I can take a nap with Mahna in the afternoon. I am slacking off on my own housework and Cole's room is not even close to decorated.

Today I get to see my buddy from middle school, as she has a 2 hour layover at the Dallas airport. The only hard part is getting to the airport by 7:50 a.m.!
:)
I am looking forward to it tho.

Mahna and I have a ritual.
Every morning we both put our makeup on. I have a little chair for her to stand on at our sink and she knows what drawer has the makeup.
She is very good at listening towhat she is allowed to play with and not
play with. Her favorite thing is for me to curl her eyelashes! Of all things I figured she would whine aboutit hurting! It is fun having a little girl.
I wonder what a boy will
b e like.

THANKS"

thank you Brent for telling me how to un-hack my
blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I just need a moment of silent aloneness
to post.

terlet

howdy
sorry
no
posting.
my keyboard is stilljacked up, haven't had the funds to fix it cuz i amn spending all my
cashola revamping our hall bathroom.
it is gonna be purdy groovacious once it
is done tho. miss u all!

sad

Jarrod's grandmother died last night.
She had breastcancer, and the chemo caused her to catch pnuemonia.
We were at the hospitala long time and it is so sad to watch because Jarrod has a huge family and their grandmother was the center ofit all.
His grandad has a really strong faith and hoped\believed til the end that she would receive
a miracle and live.
I was thinking this morning how sometimes people die and you think "what a waste" and sometimes people die
and
you are so sad because you need\want more of their goodness to still be in the world. My gramdma said it is only sadfor the people left here, for her it is glorious to finally be in heaven.
None of us ever know what day we are going to go.
Let's live and love like it could be this day.

pics

oh-happy-day

Thanx to all of u who made my bday a happy one.

The weirdest part of turning 27 was
thinking back to 10 yrs ago that I was seventeen! that is just too wierd. 17 was a good year for me tho,
too much fun actually! we have been so bizy, with my bday,
tiffany's wedding (i still owe pics i know) and jarrods
bro being here for
a week. my house was full of 5 kids from age 2-10
and I am ready for some peace and relaxation.
:)

frustrating-computer-keypad

the
keypad
on
our computer is jacked up so
it types in a poetic style. that is why i have
not been posting,
because it takes forever
to go back and edit
it and then
1\2the time i am losing all my
words anyway
so i justget too
frustrated with this
thing.

it
is
only a year 1\2 old, too. grrrrrrrrrr

i should warnyou all, don't leave your purse in the car
because people really do break
windows out and really do it in suburbia CVS
parking lots in the middle of the day.
i never believed
Jarrod when
he warned me it could happen.

But yes.........
my sweet sweet brother went and bought me a new purse to replace my stolen
one
and
it
is
the
cutest
purse
with
matching wallet. he has great taste.
last
night was jarrod's
sister-Tivany's
wedding to Warren.
It was an awesome wedding, outdoors by the lake at
Sneaky Petes and the reception room was absolutely stumming.
Everyone was really dressed up and Tivany looked amaizing. I will post pics soon.
I am not commemting on the church
situation yet because
I am not yet able to put it into mature thoughts\words\feelimngs.
And everyone else seems to
be doing a great job anyway!
THANKS FOR READING

victimized

got
the
window
broken
out
of
my
car
so
someone
could
steal
my
new
purse
with
things
in
it
only
meaningful
to
me
and
about
$4
for
their
touble

pics

mahna\Gold
and
mahna\Blake

and the beat goes on

I'm sure there aren't many people checking my blog but if you are, thanks for caring! :) Well we have moved into our house and are semi unpacked. The house is twice what we were living in. We were in about 800 sq. feet and now are in 1570 sq. feet. SO it looks kind of empty! :) I love having carpet, though. It makes Mahna really happy to be able to run back and forth through the house. We have major plumbing repairs going on right now. When the owner had the foundation fixed, the ground was very dry and of course moving a house up the plastic pipes BREAK. So far we have had 6 leaks under the house fixed. The contractor said that is more than he has ever seen. It is already costing the seller of the house over $5000 to fix so far. We have a huge hole in the ground on the side of our house, one through Cole's bedroom wall (those of you who don't know, that is my son's name who is due in January), and one through the floor of our garage. So we are kind of half living in half the house. Our bathroom vanity is going to be completely torn out and the wall redone, we are putting in a new toilet, Cole's wall will have to be fixed and the garage floor. We haven't been able to hook up our washing machine yet because one of the leaks is right under the utility room, and our dryer is broken anyway so that will be the NEXT project. Also our back sliding door sticks really badly. We knew this before we moved in but not the extent of it. So we need to put in new doors asap. Luckily Casey can do it for us so the doors should hopefully only be about $300.
I tell you what tho! House equals money money money! Luckily I have gotten a watering flowers job for the next month or so which pays a little and won't take much time/energy. I may have a new cleaning job thanks to VALERIE! :) Jarrod's job seems to be going better. Unfortunately he got in a car wreck last week. Thank God he is physically okay. His car is undrivable though, so he has a rental. The wreck was not his fault, and Casey can fix the car as soon as the other person's insurance company pays up!
I believe I experienced a small miracle at church today. The last 3-4 weeks either me or mom has tried putting Mahna in Sunday School and she was freaking out so bad that she couldn't stay. I almost went and did laundry this morning instead of going to church, but instead we went. I prayed for Mahna to please go to SUnday School and have a good time and let me sit through church, even though we were 20 minutes late. Well turns out it started late today anyway, Mahna walked right in, got her nametag, gave it to the teacher and told me BIE. I was so shocked and I really enjoyed the service (great job, MiKe!) Then when I went to get Mahna one of the women working in there went on and on about how smart Mahna is and how well she did today, and was so content playing with puzzles. I was like WOA! So that was cool.
Now I am doing laundry at mom's house (thank you mom!) and Mahna is napping in her PJ's at 2:30 in the afternoon.
TOodLES

insanity

This has been one of the wierdest days of my life. Mahna slept in, then wanted breakfast. She never wants breakfast. In fact, she never eats so when she asks to eat I surely say OKAY. Then I get to G.G.'s house to drop her off, I have less than five minutes to stay and her shoes are nowhere to be found. Of course this is a day she really does need shoes because GG is dropping her off w/ my mom at the salon later until I finish cleaning a brand new house. This is why I was running super late because I HAD to be at this new house on time. Then later in the afternoon Jarrod calls and says that our electricity got off. Aparently the lovely RELIANT ELECTRICITY COMPANY got the dates confused on when they are supposed to change over our electricity to the new house. I had it scheduled for FRIDAY and they aren't even supposed to turn off our current house's electricity since Casey will still live there. So we are on hold with them forever and ever just for them to say that they can't turn it back on for 24-48 hours, even tho it is 104 degrees, I am 5 mo. pregnant, have a one year old and two cats. Now all the food is spoiling in my freezer and fridge (yes they will EVENTUALLY reimburse us for it) and we get to go stay in the La Quinta hotel tonight. JOY. Then Jarrod's job completely screwed up his route, added 100 miles a DAY to him and an extra hour to his evening with no added pay (he pays for his own gas so this is basically a CUT in pay). SO Jarrod did something very unlike himself and just came home. OH and our house we are supposed to be signing papers on tomorrow night..... has a plumbing problem from the foundation repair and it is getting fixed tomorrow. Luckily tonight Jarrod got things worked out with his job and Mahna is staying with GG, since I have to clean tomorrow anyway. I miss her already tho. We had fun swimming tonight. She is very brave in the water now and has learned so many words she can really talk to where you know what she wants most of the time. Well I am at my parents and we need to go to the hotel. Yip EeE
TOODLES

drowning in a sea of boxes

I am so behind on posting pictures! I never did Mahna's first haircut and so much has even happened since then. I would like to post the sonogram pic from yesterday, but whenever I have a free moment. My mommy dearest was kind enough to watch my little sweetie pie today so I could pack like a mad woman. I have packed 15 boxes in 2 1/2 hours! My back is killing me. I accomplished getting Jarrod and my closet cleaned out which makes me feel a little closer to the destination. I boxed up a bunch of groovacious clothes and shoes for my friend Cynde, three bags (so far) for donating, 2 bags of trash. I am so tempted to just throw out all of Mahna's toys and let her start over at the new house. Her bday will be a couple weeks from move in so she would have new stuff and a fairly clean room. Of course I probably won't really do that, heaven forbid I toss a memorable item. My house is a disaster. We are in about 800 square feet right now and there are about 25 boxes stacked in the main room (kitchen). I am sitting in the middle of it on my laptop on the kitchen table which is piled with misc. papers and cleaning supplies and things like a huge glass bowl that I am not sure how to pack. My back is really killin gme, did I already mention that? I am doing a new cleaning job tomorrow, and I am sure I will be popping tylenol the second I wake up tomorrow just to make it through and make my $75. This house has a floor that has to be washed by hand. That sounds hiorrd........ But truthfully I am thinking of advertising in the coffee news (www.txcoffeenews.com) just to get another job or two. I want to work as much as I can before "Cole" is born. Wow it seems too wierd not to just call it 'the baby' anymore. Just last week I was worried because I couldn't think of a girls name that I really liked. I guess there was a reason for that! This pregnancy is really going by fast. I am almost 20 weeks, so over 1/2 way there really. I already have gained 18 pounds (dear Lord!) so I pray that that will only double and not any more than that. I am a heffer for sure. Oh well! Well I better get back to work. Jarrod will be off work in less than an hour. TOODLES!

results of the sonogram

BOY BOY BOY!I am having a boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i can't believe it but it's true without any doubt that was a boy on that ultrasound today!!!!! Jarrod is so happy he can't quit smiling. I can't believe how excited I am now that I know it is a boy! This is so amazing. I just want to go decorate his room for him now and get all ready. I guess I can get rid of all Mahna's clothes now. I have been saving and saving and saving boxes of them just in case there was another girl. So anyone need girls clothing up to size 18 mo? I have a bunch of pairs of girl shoes size 4, 5, 6, too.
YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I would have been excited either way so I could have written this post ahead of time but I am amazed at how excited I am to be having a baby boy. I can't explain it but it is a good feeling. Scary to think of trying to raise a MAN but then it is scary to raise a confident, caring woman too!

mooooooooooooving on

Mahna had her first dentist appointment. She did so good. The office was amazing. It is all for kids dentist so it was decorated and everything was short for kids and lots of groovacious educational toys everywhere. I realized Mahna really DOESN'T have everything! :) She got to sit in my lap for her flouride treatment and teeth check, so it wasn't scary at all. The woman was very nice and I am glad that her first dental experience didn't put fear in her heart!

Later that day she got her first haircut! First she watched me get a haircut then she sat on my lap and got her little bangs trimmed and the rest of her hair cut. She looks so much older now! I will post a picture soon.

We are finally getting our mortgage stuff finalized. What a pain in the arse! I can't wait til this junk is over!!!!!!!!! At least our first house payment won't be due until October. That is good cuz it's gonna be expensive. Oh and I went and picked up a few boxes at the used box store on 407. Nice guy who works there carried them to my car and they were pretty cheap too! Thanks Lindsay!

Okay well I am feeding my ma and Kendra's doggies now and watering mom's plants and now I am off to return movies, turn in donations, buy dog food and if I am lucky get a pedicure!!!!!!

Happy Friday!

update

No sonogram today! I got to hear the heartbeat (it is just as amazing as the first time I heard Gold's). I was correct that I am due Jan 4. I have gained too much weight. I get a sonogram on Aug 14 so that is cool cuz mom and Jarrod can come!

Toodles.

p.s. anyone looking for a vehicle? I have a couple for sale!

pps. Anyone know someone who is selling a $500 car that my brother could buy?

garage sale

I have the following for sale if anyone is in need or desire:

Upright piano $? Make offer

1996 Jeep Grand Cherokee (silver) $2800 or best offer

1996 Ford Mustang (red) wrecked on side, has salvaged title but drives awesome! $900

2003 Ford F150 long bed, regular cab (white), ranchhand bumper, camper topper $8000



Anyone have boxes I could borrow or buy to pack up my house? I should be moving around Aug 18!!!!!

Mahna's first hair appt. is tomorrow. AWWWWWWW

My first DR appt is Weds. so I will find out my actual due date and maybe the baby's sex! I am guessing I am due about Jan 4th tho.

Thanks for the positive words for those who commented. HUGS

Sometimes I can't breathe.

Just when I thought we were getting things settled and closer to finalizing on the house, we get a lower estimate from a different mortgage company and now are 'fighting' with our current mortgage guy over a couple thousand dollars. Now on my mind is who should we trust...

Also on my mind is I need more cleaning jobs. Things are slow and I am feeling great these days (physically) and actually COULD be working a lot more often.

My own house doesn't seem clean or organized enough to start packing anything....... where do I start???????

I am so excited about the house I start crying out of thankfulness. Then I start having an anxiety attack with the reality that we are going to own a home and a large home payment...

Then there is the mom thing, there is so much I need to do to prepare her for life as it is but on top of that I must focus on my almost 8 yr old son who was adopted. I need to find ways to always let him know how much I love him even tho someday he may be very angry at me for getting married and having other children. I also have to be explaining to Mahna how special her brother is and why things turned out the way they did. And how not to set her path in life like I set mine back then...

Least importantly but still bothering me is how much weight i am gaining already and still have so long to go until the baby comes.

no news is bad news?.

Well I can't really update about the house right now because I don't know. We have been looking at OTHER houses, but that is still 'the one'. The woman wants us to raise our paying price 2000 dollars and then she will fix the foundation. I don't know what to think. Should I be scared to get into a house with foundation problems that have just been fixed? Should I just accept it and know that no matter where we are around here we will have that problem? UGH so much to think about. Well I have to go do some preliminary paperwork junk for the doctor in Carrollton.......... I really should get this done since I am almost 17 wks and haven't gone to the DR yet. I hate going to the DR! Especially a new one. toodles.

FRIDAY POSTING

I would have never guessed how much stress and waiting would go into this housebuying experience. And we always thought that once we got a house we wouldn't be "throwing away money on rent" anymore. But the more we learn the less your house is really an "investment". I mean if we decide to sell our house in 5 years, even if it went up in value $10,000 that money would all go to realtor fees and mortgage closing fees etc anyway. So I guess we just have to get that out of our minds and enoy that it will be 'ours' (if we ever get it) and we can change the wall color, plant flowers....... etc. That will be cool. I also kind of thought once our loan was approved and once our bid was accepted, it is pretty much OURS. Not true........ we had bad news at the inspection and then had to get someone to see how bad the foundation of the house is. Turns out it is pretty bad. So now we have to get the woman to agree to fix it or no house for us. Then we can kiss $360 goodbye ($260 inspection, $100 option fee) and start all over looking somewhere else. That is worst case scenario I guess. The woman who owns the house and her lawyer are sneaky and crooked acting so I figure they will get their "own" inspector out there tomorrow to say there is "nothing wrong with the foundation" or else she will just say she won't fix it and we will have to say adios to the casa. Either way. It will all happen as it should and in the way intended for all of us. It's all good.
Today I am enjoying an entire day with my babykins. It has been almost a week since we have had that. Even last weekend we had to send her off to gma's while we did realtor junk. We have had a fun day together and I am truly amazed (but then again not) at how much better behaved she is when she has lots of momma time. She even has moments when she goes off and plays by herself! That is unheard of when I have been gone from her all day.
Happy Friday to all!!!!!!!!!!!

day 2 of 10

BUYING A HOUSE SUCKS

realtors and mortgage guy seem so much less friendly now that we have signed a few papers. now it is rush rush and all up to us and such an annoyance to them to answer any questions. i truly don't trust anyone anymore, church related or not. i do appreciate all the advice i have been getting in my comments. i can't believe how much money everything is costing. it is truly maddening. i know i have gotten on a few of my clients nerves lately too because i am still cleaning and getting a million phone calls a day. of course yesterday when i didn't have to clean and i was just sitting there for 3 hours waiting for the inspection to be done the mortgage guy was nowhere to be found or heard from. now today when the woman i am cleaning for is right there with me paying me a buttload of money per hour, he needs to gripe at me for not making a decision on the loan we want yet........ HELLO I WANTED TO TALK TO U ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh. someone please tell me that owning a home is worth it. i honestly want this to be the only home we ever purchase....
unless we win the lottery and can hire someone else to do our stressing for us.
and on another note, if anyone ever hears me pining for another baby after this please remind me that i despise being pregnant.
Thanks.

day 1 of 10

House was inspected today, the heat shield on the fireplace is cracked. Anyone know what that means? There are possible foundation problems so we have to get ANOTHER inspection. The one today took almost three hours! Plus I had to go to three banks today to get statements and transfer monies around. Mahna stayed w/ mom half the day and got to do lots of swimming. Tomorrow I have to work probably all day, so money is good but I hope I won't have to be on the phone too much while I work, since the woman I am cleaning for will be home. We signed preliminary papers at the real estate office today. Waiting on the seller's disclosure to find out age of roof so we can get solid insurance quote........ money is flying out of our hands! EEK

ok....

Scratch that other post. After going thru immense sadness and disappointment, the owners of our dream home call back and say "okay I guess we CAN go lower". PUNKS!!!!!!!!!!! So we have been going back and forth once again and as of today they accepted our offer! :) Yippee! SO now we just have to have the inspection done tomorrow and hope that it is not TOO bad. The great thing about this house is that it doesn't really need anything done right away (as far as we can tell) so we can just move in and be happy. LOL. Sounds like a fairytale! I guess I will know by tomorrow night if all is cool with it! HOly COW I CAN"T BELIEVE IT IS FINALLY HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was wrong.

It is my dream house. But it is not the house for us. One reason: Money. The woman who owns it just wants too much. I am beginning to wonder if we will ever find something in Lewisville/Flower Mound. I just like it here cuz I have lived here a long time and my family and Jarrod's family are here. Why does everyone think it is worth SO MUCH MONEY to live here? I don't get it.
So back to the search.... I hope I have cried myself out tonight so I do want to get out of bed tomorrow.

CASA!

We put in a bid tonight on a house in Lewisville. It is within walking distance of Parkway Elementary if you know where that is. Vally Pkwy and 3040. I am soooooooooooo excited. I really believe this is the house. I am probably letting myself get hopes up too much but I hear that you KNOW when you walk in and I think I KNEW.

colorado pics

update

HI! Just wanted to say howdy and tell u all we are having a grand time in Colorado. We are staying at the Purgatory ski resort and it is very pretty and peaceful. Mahna loves all the nature. She is taking Elliott on all the walks and he does very well staying with her on the leash. People are always stopping and saying something about how amazing it is that she can handle a dog at her size. Haha. I heard a song on one of Mahna's Disney videos:

"ain't nothin like the great outdoors to ease your soul, ain't nothin like the great outdoors to keep you from growin old......"

I am at an internet cafe right now but my time is about up and Mahna's patience should be almost over. Yesterday we saw Durango, today we saw Silverton and now are in Ouray. Purdy stuff. Easygoing mountain people.

Where did you take your default pic?in my living room
What exactly are you wearing right now?nobody caresWhat is your current problem?chubbiness/pregnancyIf you could go back in time and change something would you?I wouldn't have let Jeremy tattoo my ankle. i really want to cover it up now.
What's the name of the song that you're listening to?nuttinAny celeb you would marry?They are all rich....

Name someone with the same birthday as you?I dunno
Do you have a crush on someone?Mahna
Ever sang in front of a large audience?nope
What do you usually order from Starbucks?EXPRESSO
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?--jeanean garafallo, (Nikki that is so wierd! we look nothing alike and two people said we looked like the same star! NUTS)
Do you still watch kiddie movies or kiddie TV shows?i have a two yr old, yes i watch sesame street, spongebob, mr. rogers........ need i go on
Do you speak any other languages?baby talk count?
What magazines do you read?shape, parenting, people
Have you ever ridden in a Hummer limo?--nope
Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?that is hard to answer
Do you ever watch MTV?who has time to watch TV?????
What's something that really annoys you?rude people: on the road, in the store, everywhere
Chapter 1:Middle name: Elizabeth
Nicknames: awww....... don't have one. anyone got one for me? be nice!
EYE color: blue
Chapter 2:Do you
live with your parents: nope
Do you get along with your parents: yup
Are your parents married/separated/divorced: still kickin it
Do you have any siblings: yes u all know the answer
Chapter 3: Favorites
Ice cream flavor: cherry vanilla
Season: hmm. like them all for different reasons
Shampoo/conditioner: pantene
Chapter 4: Do You
Sing in the shower: only when i have an audience in the shower HA
write on your hand: on my inner wrist all the time, bad memory
Call people back: thinking of the phone gives me anxiety but once i am on it its all good
Believe in love: yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed: lefty
Have any bad habits: do i have to list theM?
Chapter 5: Have You Ever
Broken a bone: yes, left arm twice, once got skated over by a large person and the second time skiiing ran into a tree LOL
Gotten stitches: in my lip when i was like 1 yr old
Taken painkillers: has anyone not taken them? yes i have had too many
Gone SCUBA diving: no but hope to someday
Been stung by a bee: yes a year ago on my hand and i cried like a baby
Thrown up in a restaurant: ewwwwwwwww! no way (sorry if you have)
Sworn in front of your parents: yes, sorry momHad detention: um is this a highschool survey? haha. yes i have had detention, glad to be done w/ that kind of skewl
Chapter 6: Who/What was the last
Person you talked to on the phone?: The Huzband
Thing you touched: my keyboard
Thing you drank: water

can't a girl get a shroom burger?

Ok I went to Wendy's, Whattaburger and Sonic. NO mushroom swiss burger to be found. No mushrooms even offered!!!!!!! What is this world coming to when a pregnant girl's craving can't be quenched? I know, I know, I can go to CHILI's and get a super tasty one but who wants to go IN somewhere? I want drive thru anonymity. God knows anyone who sees me would say she does NOT need to be eating a burger. :)

Countdown to vacation time and I am bizy as heck this week. Lots of work to be done. Money to be made for spending next week in Colorado on very overpriced items. I am determined to get a massage on vacation this year!

We went to the waterpark today, and this time a couple of my friends came with their kids. It was mucho funno and I could have stayed for hours longer. Maybe someday we will stay til they close at 8 and really get our two dollars worth! Mahna has been sleeping over two hours now (she didn't get a nap earlier) so I wonder if she is just out for the night. It's only 7 pm so maybe I should go to bed too? Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Can't think of any more things to say. Maybe I should answer that survey after all.

mahna pics!!!!!!!

happy FRYday a lil late

Well no one probably even reads blogs on the weekend, but oh well. I am looking forward to the weekend because I want to do some sitting and laying and take a hot bath. Tomorrow is Jarrod and my 6th anniversary. I would really like to go get massages, but it's a little too expensive at the moment. If we can get babysitting assistance, we might go see a movie at the studio movie grill. That way we can eat and watch. FUN! We like NEVER go to the movies, so it really is a date kind of thing for us to do. Pre-prego days I would rather go have happy hour for a few hours just the two of us, cuz we have so much fun doing that, but maybe next year! :) The ironic thing is we are going to probably see "The Break Up". Nice anniversary movie, eh?? I am also looking forward to seeing Kenner Sue and her huz and having a "brunch" at some new restaurant with Jarrod's family on Sunday.
Mahna needs me to read her a book now! She is shaking my leg saying MOM. TOODLES

FRY DAY

Tis hot these days and I am oh so thankful my parents put a pool in last year. Mahna is a little waterbug now and will stay in for HOURS> With lots of sunscreen of course. Anna and my momma are good at showing her a good time and LETTING her swim and splash for hours and hours. I am less patient and less fun. It's funny how I could always entertain other people's kids. And for some things I can show Mahna a really great time. But when it comes to being silly and spontaneous, well.....

So no house yet. :( We are putting a small pause on looking at houses. Putting some more cash in the bank to make us look good for our loan. We are on vacation for a week in July, so we are thinking we might find something end of July or in August. Who knows!

Steph, thanks for saying I am "too cool for Flower Mound". Haha. Flower Mound and Lewisville are some super borING places, I tell ya. No doubt about that. Not many uniquely pierced/dyed interesting clothed people walking around, heck not a lot of people WALKING anywhere. I would much prefer Austin over here with all the stupid dry cleaners on every block. I even thought about Dallas, but our jobs are here, families, good schools. I have lived in the ghetto of Lewisville and am pretty over the cuteness of it now. Flower Mound with it's pretty green trees and yards that people don't deck out with what won't fit in their house anymore sounds like a better place to take a walk. Plus the schools seem a lot better, too. Who knows, we still might end up in Lewisville because of these RIDIDCULOUS prices, but it won't be the same neighborhood we've been in.

Happy Friday and thanks for reading! Toodles.

date w/ my kiddo

Mahna and I had a date day. It was so fun. We went for a walk, then went swimming, then went shopping for a book and video and toy for her. Then the best part was we went to eat at Quizno's, just the two of us. I had the pot roast sub with lots o' horseradish MMMM and she had cheetos and pickles dipped in honey mustard. She loves to "dip" stuff. Unfortunately didn't have a bib with me, but oh well. Honey mustard washes out. I don't know why it was so special eating out with her, just the two of us, but it gave me such a good feeling. Kind of a freedom of sorts. Anyway..... we found a house we are interested in that just went for sale in Flower Mound, so hopefully tomorrow will get to see it and hope it will be "the one".

no ocean :(

Well I didn't get to go to Galveston. I could have pushed harder for it, but Anna ended up having to work this weekend, so she couldn't go and I didn't want to be the only girl. I probably could have dealt with that but I also thought Jarrod would have fun with an all guy weekend. So him and his best friend and his two brothers packed up the van, hooked up the jet ski and left at 6 a.m. Saturday. Mahna and I have a cold so we were up and down thru the night and after she ate 3 mini bowls of cheerios this morning we made it over to my parent's house around 11:30. Kendra, Anna and I made lots of yummy food like Italian cream cake, guacamole, an amazing salad (that was alll kendra, but you should all try blsamic vinegar, feta cheese and red pepper in your salad) and manicotti. Dad made steaks and brauts and we had a grand feast. We also spent a lot of time in the pool. Mahna was scared of the pool a few weeks ago, but thanks to my mom's persistance she loves the water once again. I am not sure what made her afraid of it in the first place but it seems to be all but over for now. If it had only been up to me, I would have given in to my child's every tear and discomfort and she would be looking at the pool thru the living room window all summer. So thank God for my mom and for my grandma and well pretty much everyone in my family and Jarrod's who touches Mahna's growth in a positive way. It isn't the ocean, but then again there is a shower just seconds away and NO SAND so hey! It's a good weekend.

I have a cute daughter

Mahna has really been making me smile lately. The first incident was when I was still feeling depressed (thankfully has passed now) and I was crying. She came over and patted my face and tilted her head in such an angelic way, I thought how could I ever be sad with her in my life?
During the Mavericks playoff game the other night with the Spurs Jarrod was very into the game and pacing the living room during the last minute of overtime. Mahna was sitting on the couch and suddenly yelled "GET BALL!" She doesn't talk much and we surely didn't expect her to be paying attention to the basketball game! It was so cute and funny.
A couple days later the three of us were watching a movie on tv sitting together on the couch. She showed me her sippy cup and said "meer" which means MORE and I said no honey you still have some left. A few minutes later she got up and I thought she was going to play in her room for a minute or something, like she usually does. She came back a few minutes later holding the chocolate syrup, she had gotten it out of the fridge because she needed MORE chocolate milk!!!!!! Cracks me up!

excuses excuses

I have a good excuse for not posting. My keypad on my laptop has been jacked up. Like if you hit the m it would type mn and if you type v or b it would type vb. Most annoying was if you hit the space bar it would hit enter. So everything I typed
looked
like
this.
I guess the bug worked itself out. Our neighbor, who fixed my computer, said maybe it got wet. Well Jarrod and I are on eggshells with this stupid computer. We don't bring a drink within a foot of it. My nieces are over everyday after school this week and next so I am guessing when I wasn't here something got splashed on it. Who knows. Either way if we would have had to buy a new keypad it would only be about $25 (just a pain to install I am guessing) and now it worked itself out, so YIPPEE!
So I cleaned 4 houses this week all to pay a ticket that I really am innocent of. I had plenty of time to call a lawyer and fight the ticket. BUT I was too scared to call a lawyer and have them laugh at me and then tell me I would have to pay them $200 or something. I am mad at myself for not fighting it, but once it is paid I hope to forget about it in a month. I think I told the story on here a long time ago, so I will just say that a cop followed me and waited for me by my friend's house while I had my car looked at, then pulled me over like5 minutes after I left the house and said I ran a stop sign. I literally wanted to ask the cop if he was NUTS, I argued with him a little but he scared me because we were in a culdesac on a Sun morning with no one around and he basically got in my face and said "give me your license while I am still being civil to you". I believe I might have gone to highschool with the guy his last name was Graves. ANyway I may never forgive myself for paying the damn money to Highland Village and not trying harder to fight a freaky cop.
So I am not really enjoying pregnancy much. I have been feeling nauseous but not enough to 'get sick', so I just feel raunchy, usually at night. I could deal with that, though. What I can't deal with is a horrible feeling of depression that will not subside. Well that is not entirely true. It comes and goes. One week I am happy and normal feeling, working out every day and eating what I should. The next week I cry at everything, bite everyone's heads off and eat all the wrong things. I am about 7 weeks along.......... that means 33 weeks to go. Yikes. Well at least this week is almost over and there is a good chance the sun will come out on Monday. Maybe even today since we are driving to Austin (sans Jarrod) to watch Kendra and John get their Master's degrees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO. I am very happy for you Kendra and the path you have chosen for your life. You have done a lot of good for other people while also getting your education the last few years. Now I just hope you stay in Austin...... we gotta have that thrift store field trip!
Well I really gotta run Mahna is not even awake yet and I should be over to pick up ANna and Gma and my parents van in 30 minutes! eek. time is not on my side.
toodles thanks for reading.

my babycakes

Some pics of my babycakes at Lewisville lake. I love the one of her sitting on the couch even though part of her head is cut off. I just like the look on her face and the light going across her. SOrry about the one pic being sideways, but I still haven't installed a photo program on my computer. I was just happy to find my camera cord!

tis all good homey

So far so good. No barfy, no soreness of any kind. I feel fine!!!!!!!! yea. I haven't had probs with morning sickness before though. I just kind of expect the worst this time because it seems like everyone's subsequent pregnancies were harsh. Considering my first two were 6 years apart the second felt like a first all over again. I have been exercising and doing my best to eat fruits and veggies. I know that if I gain a ton of weight it will shorten the amount of time I can make money. I know that sounds very materialistic, but money is money. Plus if I am sitting at home I will just eat more and therefor have more to lose later. Life hasn't really changed in the past week since I found out I was prego. By the online calculator I should be due Jan 4th. That could mean a late December or new years baby. OOPS! Well I wanted to post some new pics but I can't find my camera cord! Darn! Mahna is doing good. She is a cutie pie, lots of fun. I only had one cleaning job this week so we have had lots of time together. I think she's a little sick to her tummy tonight cuz she is sort of cuddly and whiney. Well this weekend I look forward to mother's day and Kendra being in town, next weekend in austin and galveston the weekend after that! Not looking forward to CAMPING on the beach in Galveston, but hey...... u gotta take the beach when you can get a chance!

P O S I T I V E

That would be the result of my pregnancy test!!!!!!!!! Yes I am about 3 wks or so along. I haven't gone to the DR but by my calculations it will be sometime in January when I have a new little angelface in my arms!!!!!!!!!!! Holy cow Jan is so far away! I am gonna get so fat and I hate that part so much. I plan to keep exercising and eat well but somehow I wanted that last time too and something took over me and I no longer was doing what I should. I am very excited and so is Jarrod. We are pretty set on just the two kiddos so this will be my final pregnancy experience, which is relieving with just a hint of sadness. No reason to miss it yet, I have barely even started it! EEK. Did I already mention that January is SO far away?

small postings

Hello thanks for checking my bloggerooo! I am hoping to get my computer fixed pretty soon. It seems like forever, and it probably has been, since it worked. My bro-in-law has been working on it but has set it down for some time now. I didn't want to be rude before and take it back but I think he is tired of trying and we have a little money at the moment, so I am gonna see about putting it in a shop or sumthin.
Mahna is sleeping all night! can you believe it? I thought the day would never come. I guess that she really was just in a "habit" of waking up to nurse and therefor the habit haas been broken. It was a sad transition to stop nursing but it is okay now. I am glad to have my body semi-to myself for a few months. I do not know if I am pregnant yet, but don't worry I will post when I know! Oh also, I CAN'T sleep anymore. I toss and turn and my mind seems to race a hundred miles an hour now when I lay down. I can' tbelieve I finally have a chance to sleep and I can NOT! I tried tea last night and it didn't work. Maybe I will try writing first tonight.
Anyway I am off to clean a house. Jarrod's birthday was great fun and he was very excited about his metal detector. We went to the lake yesterday to try it out. No great treasures but I do see how it is addicting! HAHA

updates

I feel so conceited posting on Blogger. It's like here is ME here is MY LIFE, here are MY FEELINGS... but then onthe other hand I guess I couldn't talk about other ppl without their permission. LOL

Mahna is doing much better. 2 nights ago she woke up 5 times during the night, therefor neither of us got sleep, last night she only woke up twice. She is no longer barfing. She has no more fever. She has developed a love for water (yippee!) and has been guzzling it (and was doing pedialite too) since she got sick so no worries of dehydration. I am feeling a sense of sadness by no longer nursing but also it is changing out bedtime routine and daddy gets to be more involved now. She has her own pillow now and takes her sippy cup w/ her to bed (in between us on our bed) and she fusses a little but then lies down and says "row row" wanting us to sing row row row your boat, then "baby" for rock abye baby, then "baby" again for hush little baby. I pray and hope that eventually she will be broken of the ritual of waking up in the night and sleep solidly.

This morning we got up early to go to the "Wellington" neighborhood sales. Only to get rained out. We did get to go to one and got mahna a few lil things. I am off to clean a house now and think about what to get Jarrod for his bday. He will be 28 HOLY COW on Monday! I think I am gonna get him a metal detector (that is what he asked for) to use on the beach in Galveston. He is planning a big trip with his friends on Memorial day wknd. And hopefully his brother Freddy can fly out from Virginia that weekend. My parents are giving Jarrod a frequent flyer ticket for his bday so his brother can come visit. I think that is really cool. TOODLES FOR NOW!
HAPPY FRIDAY

end of an era

Mahna is officially not breastfed anymore. T.M.I.? LOL. It has been about 36 hours or so and she seems to have forgotten that she ever was at all. Going to bed is a little different now. Instead of me being her comforting pacifier, I am just a warm body next to her while she screams and sits and lays and sings and gets quiet then remembers she is supposed to be fighting sleep. If you would have asked me a week ago if I could put her to bed without nursing her, I would have said no. Unfortunately Sunday night she got ill and started barfing. this was around 11. I rocked her to sleep and thought at 4 a.m. when she woke up that she was probably settled enough to nurse back to sleep. Nope, barfed it right up. So... I decided to stop nursing her, because I thought maybe it was my milk making her sick for some unknown reason. Monday she made it until 3 pm before barfing and then I realized that she must be sick and not just reacting to my milk or something she ate. Plus she was getting feverish and being all around limp and pitiful. Oh and I have been housesitting for my parents and "babysitting" franky and anna. They have been absolute angels by the way. So I have spent the last 2 days rocking Mahna a lot in my mom's comfy lazyboy rocker/recliner. Grandma has came by a few times to see me and let me take a shower, we watched Memoirs of a Geisha also (finally!). So back to the b.feeding thing. I just explained to Mahna that I could not give it to her because it made her sick and she looked at me with such a sad look, but I only had to explain it twice the first few hours and then she seemed to forget all about it. It is sad in a lot of ways..... She won't "need" me as much now and I don't get the satisfaction of comforting her in that way. But I am accepting, I know she needs to grow up and learn to fall asleep on her own without being overly dependent on her momma. A plus I believe will come from it is that last night she slept for 8 hours straight. I truly can not tell you if she has done that more than 3 times in the last 19 months! So this is a good thing, especially if I do get pregnant, I will be needing more sleep. And it will be good for her to be "over it" so she won't feel like she is sharing that part of me with the baby. My grandma said my uncle Ric forgot about his bottle 24 hours after she took it away from him. I believe it now, for sure. So anyway, housesitting has been fine, besides my poor husband being lonely here and there at home. He could have come over but it is better if he does NOT catch what Mahna has. No worky means no money. Anna has been a super help to me the whole time, since I have been confined to home for a couple days. She has got Mahna medicine, gone grocery shopping and just helped me so much. Franky has been a real sweet heart and we have had some funny conversations here and there. It is good to laugh with siblings. He is also a great cook, so here and there I was treated to flavorful snackies. Not to mention my parents have a really NICE house that is big, and has comfy carpet and plenty of SPACE.
Tomorrow it is back to semi real life, as I will go change my plea in H.V. to guilty about my ticket (that I am not guilty of but just don't care anymore) and clean for Dottie for about 2 hours. Then it is back home again to a lot of backed up laundry, and Mahna's own room/toys. TOODLES

Church

Today I went to Crossroads Bible church where I usually do go, and have gone since I was in 10th grade which was like oh my gosh like 11 years ago??????????? Today Brent spoke instead of the usual preacher. I must say my attention was kept the whole time. I should back up and add that I intended to try out Garden Ridge Church of Christ today. I didn't go there for two reasons, one I was sort of scared to try somewhere new, and two, it started
at 10:15 instead of 10:45 so I got to stay in bed a little longer. I have figured out I can get ready and get Mahna ready in 30 min, so I got up at 10 to leave at 10:30. Anyway Brent really kept me interested. He talked about the student ministries and what all the middle and highschoolers are doing. They are doing more than the whole church it seems! It really made me wish that I could go back to highschool knowing what I know now and actually learn something and do something! They are doing mission trips to Holland and Russia and building houses for poor people in Mexico. The highschoolers are teaching the middle schoolers bible studies. They are all seemingly involved in something or another. I just wish there was a group for my age which was doing the same. That was one reason I consider trying out other churches. I love the preacher (Tim) at Crossroads and I feel like I learn a lot from him. I do not really feel myself fitting in at the church, I feel lost in a very very large crowd. I see too much middle age and older people who seem in a rush to leave right after church. I kind of want to find a "family" of people I can learn from and work toward things with. Then again I don't want to leave... So I am wrestling with myself today. Brent mentioned that we should all think about where we fit in and what our "thing" is. (not his exact words) I feel really strongly drawn toward helping teenage girls. Even mid school girls...........Heck girls from age 2 and up.........? I just know what it was like to be caught up in this and that as a mid and high schooler and I feel like I might be able to help some girl resist an urge or find a niche where she otherwise feels scared to connect with youtu for fear of being "different" in too many ways?....... I am rambling but I am putting my thoughts out here. One other thing I liked that you did today Brent, was that you named off each highschool senior who is graduating (were there 32?) and said something u were thankful for about each one. That was cool because it was PERSONAL. I have occasionally been to a tiny church. In their announcements they would say someones name and something they did or to pray for them etc etc. Sometimes our church is so big it doesn't feel like a family it feels like an auditorium in college. I am not complaining because it is good that Tim's words can reach so many people in one day... but it is cool to hear a few people's names called out, it made it feel like a family. I still may someday check out a church that has mostly people my age, or just another form of church, just because. But I really don't want to give up the church I have known for so long without really praying more about it and seeing if there IS a place for me
Oh I should also mention for any who are wondering why I was considering trying out Church of Christ. I don't really know anything about it's beliefs. I have seen signs saying "Celebrate Recovery". This interests me because I have a lot of addiction in my family and I also have a friend, a client...... a distant relative.........MYSELF and addiction issues are always there so why not tie them in with church? Also the commercial on TV lately about (is it United Church of Christ?) where the gay couple get bounced out of church then the crying baby.........the too old person.......thehomeless guy. Then the end of the commercial says something about lets make church for everyone! I love it! I want a hippy church where everyone feels comfortable and can witness to the truly lost and searching ones. Like druggies......man who is searching for God more than a druggie? Hello. Chasing a false happiness wishing for that inner peace, comfort, release of guilt. Honestly what would be really cool would be to find this group of gays, druggies, hippies and bring them in to Crossroads. Mix it up a bit, it would excite the suburbanites who may be bored with their existance and in turn the suburbanites can use all the wisdom they have gained from years under Tim's teaching to show the gaydruggiehippies what life is REALLY all about (relationship with God). Ok if you are still reading thank u so much and I am going to shut up now. PLEASE comment be it mean or nice. XOXO

happppppppppppy bdayt

to ANNA she is 17 today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember 17 years ago my mom being pregnant with her. I was almost 10. Everyone was sure that bump in my belly was a little brother for Franky. I constantly told them all it was a girl and I would rub my mom's belly saying HI LITTLE SISTER! I already had 2 siblings so I wasn't really excited about another person taking all my parents attention away from me, but nonetheless I knew it was a girl. I remember hiding on the stairs when my grandma answered the phone call from the hospital. "It's a girl???!!!" I jumped out saying "I knew it I knew it!". I think 10 years is a cool age difference for me and Anna. Maybe I am just lucky that she is such an easy going person and so much fun to be around. She helped me a lot with my work while I was pregnant with Mahna. She has been very accepting and tolerant of Jarrod irritating the crap out of her with his "JoKeS". We share a love of makeup, which we will pursue today spending her birthday day together and getting pedicures. Tomorrow she will go to Austin w/ Franky (my parents and gma already left) and I will go to the church picnic on Saturday and Sunday go see Jarrod's grandma who just had one of her breasts removed because of cancer. I am sad it didn't work out to go to Austin this weekend, but I am glad it is working out that I get to be with Anna on her birthday-day. HAPPY 17TH on the 14th!

I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life without a computer is too hard! I just can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!!! Casey (jarrods' bro) is still working on a few ideas of what might work to fix the darn thing. I might just have to snag it back and call DELL. They ask for a cred card # but supposedly they can help u fix the problemo. Today I went to the gym and had a very heartpumping workout. Mahna was greeted before we even got INTO the gym by the older babysitter "Ginger" who just can't wait to see her when we make it in. They were blowing bubbles in there today and it was just Mahnas luck cuz yesterday we got her bubbles but they wouldn't work with her bubble blowing doggie toy. It is made by Little Tykes and I guess it only works with Little Tykes bubbles...... grr. Anywayz then we went to the mall and got Jarrod a new wallet. He wanted one that was flat with no clip. Mahna played at the playplace for a little while but wanted me to do everything with her. Sometimes she is social and sometimes not. Plus she was sleepy. Tomorrow I have a house to clean then hopefully going to the park w/ L.L. and her cuties. OK Well Casey is back now so he probably wants me to get off his computer. Hope you enjoyed this retarted post!

funny thing about not having a computer

I am keeping up with blogging even tho they are short posts! haha. I am using Casey's computer but only about once a day. Jarrod didn't like it when I would be on the computer 5 or 6 times a day checking email and chatting with people. Maybe once I get my laptop fixed (please please please let it be fixable....they say there is a prob w/ the motherboard yikes) I can just use it a couple times a day now that i know i really CAN survive without a computer, although it isn't easy! :) Well I didn't sleep good again last night> I don't know what my problem is. Lately every time I have a house to clean I get all anxious the night before and think too much and can't sleep. Ugh, I get on my own nerves (as Mimi used to say). Well i wish i could write more but mahna just woke up.......... I do want to shout out to my momma who I had an awesome night out with last night! :) X's and O's

more to come: I think we figured out a way to pay off Jarrod's car (without borrowing money from anyone!) and get a loan on our own!!! YIPPEEEEEEEEE

Sad news: Jarrod's grandma has been diagnosed with breast cancer and will be having a mascectomy next week. She has great faith and hope and a wonderful attitude, but it is sad and scary nonetheless. Jarrod is very close to his grandma, talks to her every day. She is a really sweet tiny little woman who raised five kids and has about 20 some grandkids and about 8 great grandkids at the age of 73. I really pray she comes thru this like a shooting star.

Okay...off to clean a house and drink lots o coffeeeeeeee

gone wrong

We looked at a house last night and thought it was THE ONE> we were all ready to start the papers today... my parents agreed to cosign if we end up needing them to. This morning we find out there is already a contract pending...... suck suck. I woke up at 3:45 this morning after about 4 hrs of sleep and couldn't stop thinking of all the things we could do with that house.... oh well. Anyway Mahna is sleeping now and I need to vacuum.......I don't have much work this week either so that sucks. We did get to go to playgroup for the first time today and it was fun. mahna kept pulling hair tho so i feel bad about that. Maybe a lil bro/sis will help her learn such things. Thanks for all the advice!

heres my prob YO

My personal problem with more kids is my other earthly desire to make money and be successful. I love my business, and not just for the money. I like being out and about and all that jazz. I am AFRAID if I have another kiddo I will be housebound and when I go visit people with my two (or more) children I will be a huge annoyance unlike only having one child. Maybe I worry too much. I also fight the alter personality of loving being at home w/ Mahna and being w/ her constantly and just not WORRYING about making any money or making other ppl happy. Ugh.......... who knows.

howdy

I must apologize for my lack of posty post. My computer is on the fritz. At this moment I am using my mommy's new awesome cute little white averatec laptop while mine is running diagnostic tests etc.

Tonight is the last night my cuzin and his family will be here and we have been having such a great time, I really wish they lived close by. Their little boy is exactly one yr older than mahna and they have hit it off soooooooo awesome and so instantly. I have wanted them to be together all day everyday b/c i have never seen her play with another child like she has with him. It is so heartwarming. Maybe this is why people enjoy having multiple children......... until they become teenagers. :)

Thanks for reading and commenting etc etc xoxox

cheating on blogger

I admit it, honest person that I try to be... I am cheating on Blogger. I have been exploring and blogging on MYSPACE. Now I know who my readers are on MYSPACE, about 3 people, MAYBE. It is a small amount. I have really kept the blog entries to my selfish rants about beauty treatments and what I want to do with my hair....... very boring stuff, and as much as I try to convince myself that it is half way interesting I know it really isn't. That would explain why only my dear friend Nikki would comment on there. She doestn' read this Blog, though, as far as I know. It is hard to tell who does and doesn't unless one day you are talking to someone and they say, hey I read blahblahblah on your blog. Or occassionally I find out someone I barely know from church reads my blog, and I am like, woa did I write anything bad on there? But I really don't want to categorize church people because we are all just plain ol' people, with our paths crossing in different places. I did not go to church today. Last week I went to Irving Bible Church w/ my parents and Anna. This week my couzin is in town with his family and we were just having such a grand old day being indoors, playing games, pigging out and watching the kids play that we just kept on doing it instead of getting in the car and going to church. I can honestly and shamefully take 90% of the blame for us not going. I didn't feel like changing the pace and I came out and said it. then again, maybe I am giving myself too much credit....... haha. Tomorrow I am cleaning a house I have never cleaned before, my long lost friend Bryn's cousins house. Bryn now lives in Idaho and I truly miss her. She was a super fun friend and had a good listening ear. Anyway I better get to bed since its late and I have to get up early. adios!

two random questions

Can anyone tell me where to get FLY PAPER??????????? I have these stupid fruit flies in my kitchen i can't get rid of. AND YES I got rid of the fruit!

ANNNNNNNNNNND How do you have a picture next to your name when you post a comment to someone???? I like Lindsays and Joyes!

howdy

Today was a fun day of NOT WORKING! :) I enjoyed spending the morning being slow and lazy with Mahna... We both hung out in our PJs til 10, and played on the kitchen floor instead of rushing to get out the door. I got a lot of errand running accomplished today and also managed to see my sister in law, my mom, anna and my grandma! I picked up mahnas 18 mo. pics and the more I go to JCPenney for portraits the more I want to take Mahna to a creative individual photographer. She hates JCPENNEY photographers, which of course is a normal thing for a kid to not want to get their pic taken, but I just don't really like that place. I got the 5 year plan there when Mahna was first born and I regret it now, although I have definately got my money back out of it. The people I am cleaning for tomorrow have a photo studio in their home and have offered to do pics of Mahna, but I don't know them well yet, so maybe in the future that will work out.

Tonight Mahna and I played outside for over an hour. Then we came in and were just being silly silly silly. It was really fun, and exhausted both of us. We watched about 10 min of a Baby Einstein video after our bath and while I was getting her all ready for beddy-bie, and for the first time SHE wanted to turn the video off and go to bed. She was in bed by like 8:15. That really is a tired girl! haha.

We got some super groovy news tonight! Jarrod's longtime friend George is giving us FLOOR TICKETS to the Mavs game next Thursday!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it! I am so nervous but so excited. I have never been to the Mavs game and jarrod has been twice. He is a DIE HARD FAN for any of you who don't know him. Out of all sports, basketball is the only one I semi like to watch. Some days are more exciting than others. I liked the old team with Nash....... We have a good chance of being seen on TV (YIKES!) so I gotta get us some Mavs shirts to wear. Fun fun!!!!!!!

Night night, thanks for reading!

T.G.M.I.O.

Thank God Monday Is Over

nah........ it wasn't a bad day. I just had no energy, motivation or excitement. I have been extremely domestic lately, so any time away from home kind of sucks. I did help my gma organize a closet today. That made me feel good. It made her happy, too. Tomorrow I am cleaning a house in Las Colinas, then.........hopefully Mahna and I are going to "playgroup"! I have been looking so forward to it. So even if it doesn't work out tomorrow, I am excited for when it does. The other day I spent like $30 on cleaning supplies. Cleaning supplies not for my bizness but for my own house!!!!! I am now a big fan of the Clorox disinfecting wipes. Jarrod and I also reorganized the kitchen so it is not so cluttered looking. We don't have a pantry. We have two small cabinets to fit all the food, flour/sugar/etc, bread crackers cereal......cups....... you get the idea. We have to be creative. Hopefully by the summer we will have our own house though, with a finished, normal kitchen. Our original plan was to move out by April. Now we are facing some financial issues that aren't exactly our fault. We bought two Kias in Jarrod's name a few months ago. Reason being is that Casey needed a vehicle, as he is a courier like Jarrod, but couldn't get a loan. So Jarrod bought two, but Casey pays the payment on his. What we didn't think about a few months ago is how this much debt (we also have a truck payment) would affect us getting a home loan. So...... we will see what happens. Casey can't pay off his car or still can't get a loan so we could "sell it to him". Part of our plan is to fix the transmission on the truck, try to sell it for at least CLOSE to what we owe on it, and that will help. Jarrod just needs to take it to get fixed, but I guess he is dreading the bill....or maybe just hauling it 1 1/2 hr away. Back to my story about being domestic, I am now baking a chocolate cake. Jarrod has been in a mood for choc cake and vanilla ice cream. I can't eat it, cuz I am still doing ATKINS. I think I have lost about 4 lbs. All in my boobs mind you, but it's weight! (are you blushing?) Jarrod is watching some crazy show about a bunch of body shop guys turning crapper cars into dream cars. Why must he watch it on volume 20?

Standing Blog Entry

I am standing up while I post, just hoping to get a couple of thoughts out before Mahna finishes her dinner. It is so cool she can feed herself now! It is quite messy, though. I don't mind messes, I am, afterall, A CLEANING LADY! Okay, I gave her an oreo to buy me another minute!

Today the first house I cleaned I got to talk to my bestest friend in the whole world for an hour of it. That was cool!!!!! I really do not talk to her enough and she is my lifetime friend. I have known her since I think I was 11 or 12 and once someone told me you really truly only get ONE best friend in life, and I am so glad to have her as mine. She talked me through a bunch of stuff this morning. I don't "vent" nearly as much as I really should and I really unloaded this morning. She is a paralegal, so thank the Lord she was not too busy to talk to me.

times up..darn

uh oh i am on a blogging roll

Today at the first house I cleaned, I used a mildew cleaner and bleached some pants that I really like. I guess I shouldn't wear pants I 'really like' to clean houses, but it's been so long since I got bleach on myself, I took it for granted.

Oops, I thought I would get to post, but I got a ph call from my long lost friend Cynde Cynthia.....

no heart for cleaning

My heart was not in my work today. I did a nice job, but I could have stayed all day on an hourly rate cleaning every niche. I left 2 hr early, with permission. I wanted to see Mahna. I didn't want to clean. I felt a blanket of "down-ness" on my neck and shoulders and I just didn't want to clean anything else. HOpefully I will get over this tonight because I have two houses tomorrow and two houses on Thursday and one on friday...... I wish I could clean everyone's house for them in a way. But then I just wish I could do it in the middle of the night when Mahna was sleeping. Then I would probably get depressed about missing watching her sleep. Haha. She had a great time at my Gmas house today and even pottied in the potty! This is not the first time but it is a far between since the last. My gma is so awesome with trying to get her to sit on the pot. I am so lazy or A.D.D. or something. I need to start focusing on it especially since I am so lucky to have someone trying FOR me 3 days a week!

My nieces were here today when I got home and I was in a pissish mood and didn't really want to play with them but I made myself semi snap out of it so I wouldn't be a beast to a 7 and10 yr old who don't understand auntie's mood swings. Mahna had fun with them having a picnic of cheetoes and oreos on the front "lawn" (tis mostly dirrrrt). We went on a tiny walk with the wagon and as always Tina got annoyed with Mahna (that is the 7 yr old). Kat was wearing her "high heels" again which suprised me b/c she wore them all day at skewl yesterday and then for 3 hr of shopping with us yesterday! She was complaining all night so I figured she would put them to rest for a day or so til her blisters went away.

mahna wants me......adios

New Post on Sunday

I always try to respond when someone complains that I am lacking in the blog posting area. haha. I was having a writer's block, so my mom suggested I type some stuff about Mahna-kins and my house cleaning adventures.

Here goes.

Mahna is so fun. It is wierd to me how being a parent you can understand your child's language. I can tell almost always what she is telling me or what she wants. I have also realized that she is spoiled and whiney sometimes because I have allowed her to become that way. She is also 18 mo. old so that has something to do with it! Today I took her outside and we blew some bubbles. The bubbles we have must be cheapos cuz they don't work very well. I want to buy her one of those toys that blows bubbles. I was going to look at "once upon a child" for one yesterday, but we were having too much fun with Jarrod. He was working on my parent's Jeep and Mahna and I were just playing in the front yard of my parents' house for a few hours. We collected leaves, went for a walk and played with Duplo's. She also realized she can climb in the decorative antique wheelbarrel that my mom has in one of her gardens. Everything Mahna does I think is cute. I do have to realize that not everyone else always thinks everything she does is cute. In my eyes she is wonderous, but I am sure in some other's eyes she is just a kid.

Friday I cleaned a house I had never cleaned before. It was just a one time cleaning, which I really enjoy these days. The house hadn't really been cleaned b/c bothe owners work full time, so I really took great pleasure in cleaning every nook and cranny of the place. One of the owners was so complimentary to my cleaning skills the whole time, it just almost makes it worth it without getting paid to make someone so happy. But I did get paid, and got a $15 tip! That does NOT happen. But it was cool and I am glad I got to do it. Last week I also cleaned a 3900 square foot house in less than four hours! We are talking 4 bathrooms people!!! ENORMOUS!

I would like to shout out to my buddy Jana who is going thru a very hard time right now and I really wish you all the best getting thru these hard days and weeks ahead.

Also, those of you who know what is up with my sister, I am not ignoring it or unaffected by it, I just don't feel comfortable typing it all up here on my blog, for the sake of her privacy and my family's.

Love you all, readers!
Caro

oh happy day

I am so happy. I got to spend 9 hours with my fambly today. Jarrod and my dad accomplished the fuel pump in the Jeep, finally. Jarrod did the super hard stuff on Friday night, taking off a gas tank full of gas. I thought he was either going to blow up the garage or kick the crap out of the gas tank out of frustration. I am so glad it is over, and well of course so is he! We got to get Chinese food for dinner~! MMMMMMMMMM. Of course it doesn't go well with the Atkins diet, which I have been attempting for the last couple weeks. Jana and I were supposed to be doing this diet together but I don't know if she is or not? We haven't got to talk much lately. I was super bizy cleaning houses all week long. I am glad Jarrod has a 3 day weekend so I had a good excuse for not cleaning this coming Monday. We found a house online, through our "realtor" that we are very interested in, so hopefully can get moving on a loan and go check out the house tomorrow or monday. I can't believe in the next year we will probably be homeowners. At first I was frustrated because Jarrod is such a PICKY SNOB and just said NO no No no to every house we looked at online. Me, I would take anything because they all have "potential". He likes to look at location, etc etc etc. Oh and back to my wonderful day, we got to go to Sam's club, which is always fun. If I put everything in the cart I wanted there I would be stocked up on laundry soap and cleaning supplies for a year, but I contained my excitement. I do owe ma a small chunk of change for what I put in the cart, containing myself. For the first time in my life I own a bottle of Febreeze. The more houses I clean the more I wish that I could just spray it through the house afterward for a finishing touch. It is also probably good for those moments that the fam stops by with a moments notice and my house smells like the litter box. Mahna ate chinese chicken tonight for dinner and lo mein noodles. Ma has been encouraging me to feed her more "people food" instead of toddler meals. I am glad i have my mom and gma to help me move on to those next levels of parenting. I might try to make Mahna stay a baby forever... We also watched "March of the Penguins" at my parents house. If you haven't seen it, you must. What a one of a kind documentary. Really well photographed and told. Sad at times, and the mommy baby bond kind of brought out the baby fever in me. I would probably have to quit cleaning houses if I had another one, though, and that (sad to say) does hold me back. Lately I have been thinking a little more about going to school than making money. I guess cuz I have been doing SO MANY HOUSES it is not as fun. I go through spells though. Oh I did start a new house for a retired couple. The man has a photo studio in his house and has taken some SUPER cute pics of his granddaughter and other people....... So I might trade some cleaning for some pictures. Okay well that is enough for now, kind of a post all over the place but I cleared out my mind and that is the whole point right? :) Happy day to you!

so much to say and so little time

I have been insanely busy lately. More work than I can almost handle. I kind of wish I could take on a partner, but I am my business and I don't want to turn it "un personalized". I have been working about 4 days a week, and sometimes doing two houses in one day. I like the money, and Mahna loves the time with her gramma Dar and her G.G.

Today I am working on my taxes. UGH! It is complicated because Jarrod is an independent contractor and we have to deduct miles, etc. We were hoping to get back a good chunk this year to hurry up and pay off the rest of our debt. Unfortunately it is not working out.

We have been actively looking for a house to buy. We found one on "Cypress" in Lewisville. This is close to 3040 in between the mall and Flower Mound. If anyone knows where USA Fitness gym is it is close to that. This house is cool cuz it is 2000 square feet and that is much bigger than any of the other houses in our price range. Unfortunately it also needs a lot of work, like a roof and new carpet and new windows. We will see what happens. I know God has a plan for us.

Mahna is a little busy body. She starts going and going the second she wakes up in the morning. Right now she is running back and forth across the house getting into anything she can along the way. She is a neat freak, already, though. She likes to clean up her messes and loves to help me throw things in the trash can. Everything has to be "just so" or she gets upset. It is amusing at times!

Well I have tons of laundry to catch up on and a big mess of a house! Thanks for reading!

Good Point

Yea, Kendra, Good point. It is wise advice, "one day at a time". They use that in AA/NA and I think it can apply to pretty much anything you wish to accomplish. Today I will not take drugs. Today I will exercise. Today I will be an excellent mommy to my daughter. Today I will talk to my friends. Today I will call my grandma. Today I will take the time to email someone who it will mean something to. Today I will make an honest attempt at accomplishing my 'to do' list. Today I will clean my kitchen before I go to bed. Today I will clean someone else's house to the best of my ability. Today I will keep a positive attitude and be thankful for all the great things and great people in my life. Today I will pray and I will be hopeful for the future.

forcing it

Ok I am forcing myself to post because I have a couple minutes, Mahna free. Unfortunately it is 11 pm and I am TIRED and want to go sleepy Poo. I made coffee cake for my friend Cindy and I to enjoy over coffee at 9 a.m. tomorrow. I hope it tastes closely to as good as my mommy's used to. I finally jumpstarted my "get on the right track" in January thing. I have actually exercised hardcore 3 times in the last week. I have been praying more and I found my bible. Hey it is a start. It is better than what I was doing last week. I have been spending lots of good quality time with Mahna lately, too. Or maybe just appreciating it more lately. She is so much fun. So playful. I see why people can't wait for their kiddo to grow out of baby stage. I just didn't realize what I was missing several months ago. I do try to make the most out of these days we have together where I am not cleaning for anyone. I try not to ever clean on Mondays, so we always have Sat. Sun and Monday straight. I am not cleaning tomorrow either, but Weds thurs and Friday this week I am booked solid! I have had 4 new people approach me in the last 2 weeks! It feels good to be in demand. It is not a bad thing to be making extra money shortly before we invest in our first home. I want to pay off as much junk as possible and live off cash or maybe even save a little to the side besides our "house fund". Jarrod and I are so excited about getting a house. It is our shared excitement that makes it even better. I just have to say that in so many ways he and I are polar opposites. Music, personalities, beliefs (some) and socially. BUT when we do have something in common it just makes it so much better! Back to my Smirnoff Ice and nighty night Ya'll!