PICS (Scroll down for new post also)

impatient w/ da sik-ness

I am ready to feel 'great' again. I am still deadish feeling and sweaty even tho, no fever. Got the results of my test back today and it was a raging "YES" you had a severe kidney infection. I had pretty much realized that by now, but tests are good. Especially when you pay cash money for them. LOL. Jarrod and I are both getting sore throats and Mahna has had a cough so it's like oh here is the NEXT round of sickness. Heaven forbid we all just be comfortable.



I am in the process at this moment of downloading pix on my computer. My nieces will be here in a few, so there is a good chance I will get interrupted and NOT get to put them online. But we can hope for the best..

Tiffany I am so excited you posted a belly pic. Your tum looks awesome!

Thanks for the friends who cared when I was sick. It means a lot and shows who's who. Love you guys! XOXO

And other than that life is busy and great. We finally got our taxes out (thanks for the help Casey) and Cole is taking two hour naps most days. Jarrod forked out the cash for me to get the doggie groomed today. Tomorrow I am getting her ear looked at at the vet. (She has a cyst or sumthin). Mahna is so much fun, I just want her to stay 3 yrs old forever. Cole is fun, too, but SUCH a mama's boy. Won't let anybody have much to do with him. My mother in law has been awesome about helping me this past week and at the beginning of the week Mom took Mahna and Cole a few days in a row and even kept Mahna over night (mahna was sooooo excited) not to mention she bought them some cool new clothes! My wonderful sister Kendra sent me $ to help w/ the DR bill and that was so thoughtful. I liked the letter she sent cuz it said she had meant to put offering in the plate but sent it to me instead!

This is a super rambling post but like I said I am not back to normal (or is this normal?) so that's my excuse.

chillin

My body temperature returned to a normal numeric digital read out last night. The first time in SIX days! It felt like I could do anything all of a sudden. Ugh, except I jump up to do something and have this hella pain in my ribs and side. And a wierd thing, too. My fever went away and I had like a sweep of anxiety that lasted a couple of hours. I sort of felt like I just came out of a coma and realized that I semi "missed" the past week. Wierd feeling. So I am very thankful that the antibiotics worked and I am no longer a sweating feverish looney toon who can't watch her own children!
Anyway I still have this pain, but the DR says now that maybe it is just a pain from my kidney radiating somewhere else. Sounds a little like medical b.s. but I'll buy it. It's cheaper than having my gallbladder removed. :) I get the 'actual' test result back Monday. (they charge a fortune and make you WAIT!) devils

she gives me fever

(this was written Tuesday)


I have had a fever of 102.7 since thurs night and its crazy horrid having a fever. I can’t even remember the last time I did. It breaks at least once a day and I sweat buckets and it goes down to about 100.7 then inches back up. I also have a headache that feels like an exploding mushroom helmet. This morning it was 103.4 so I started calling my OB because I also have had a wicked pain in my side for two straight wks which i tried to blow off as a pulled muslce but the last few days has gotten so bad it hurts to walk and i can’t sleep comfortably. So my wonderful kind hearted Doc squeezed me in and after running various tests and doing a sono said all he could do was treat it as a kidney infection w/ a shot of antibiotics and pills to take at home but it is more likely my gallbladder so if pain isn’t better by tomorrow night I have to go to the ER since I have no insurance. But if it is that then I will get nothing but sicker.



Crazy eh? I am a dizzy sweaty mo fo. Pray for me homies.

and time marches on

I think that one day I will be at Walmart getting groceries alone, and think, "this cashier doesn't even know I have kids". Seems funny, but I rarely, if ever go to the store alone. And it usually starts out as a peaceful jaunt. Of course I have to mentally insist on always going to Walmart, so I can pick up some socks or get the babyfood for 10 cents less, the laundry soap for a dollar less......I can count on being able to do the 'self checkout'. Of course self checkout seems goofy to some when I am wrangling two kids tired of being at the store, but seriously. If I have to put something back cuz I don't have enough money, it is not embarrassing this way. Mostly, though, it is just that by the end of a bi-weekly run through the store I am usually pretty agitated either about how much money I am about to not have or that Mahna had to go potty twice in 30 minutes, or Cole spit out his pacifier on the raunchy floor. At least if I do self checkout, I generally "don't"
have to interact with another adult and pretend that I am a patient, super-mom. I can hurry, I can get out to the car and chill out.

So anyway, all that said because one day I won't have little kids anymore and I just know I will miss it. I will be lonely in the walmart aisles. I will wonder where my kids are and wish I could take them potty and wonder what kind of horrid influences their peer are being on them at the moment. I will wonder where my youth went and why was I stressed out in my 20s and thinking I looked like shit when I am 35 or 45 now and really DO and can't fix the problems without expensive surgeries.

So I guess I am writing this for myself to remember to enjoy the moments and savor the flavor of young kids who say I love you and "mommmmeeeee" constantly. And try to ignore the fact that I have no self and no life besides them. XOXO thanks for reading!

ditto of the myspace

Jeez it is one a.m. and I should be tired but I drank coffee at 10 pm like I knew I shouldn't. I took a shower at midnight and really don't want to blowdry my hair nor do I want to go to bed w/ it wet. I did a couple loads of laundry and need to do three more. I visited the dentist this past week and found out my TMJ is worse than I thought and I have worn enamel off two of my molars. Speaking of molars, Cole is cutting two! Poor little fella. I wouldn't have even checked for that but he was screaming and I looked in there and sure enough... Jarrod took Mahna and I to eat at the "Gaylord" (only locals know this is not a homo bar, but a fancy conventionish place with lots of fancy restaurants and shnazzy decor inside). Mahna wore my diamond necklace and earrings and was all decked out even wore her hair up fancy like Jarrod requested. She was amazed and in awe of everything at the place and carried her little purse like a real princess. I will have to post the pics...... It melts my heart the way Jarrod dotes on her and wants to show her special things in life. I hope he continues to always want to spend special time with her. She repays him generously with kisses and calling him "daddy". Cole is walking like a pro these days, even walks out to the car with me holding his hand sometimes. He knows what he wants and will say yes, no and thank you. We just have to work on his bullying cuz he likes to hit and head butt and today poked a little 6 mo old in the eye (out of curiousity more than meanness). Business is the same and we need it to be going UP. Attempting to refinance the house has been more pain than it's worth because of being independently employed. Such is life, but the beat goes on.