halloween!

Here are a few pics from us going to the "Trunk or Treat" last Saturday. The kids had so much fun. Mahna as you will see, decided to be a racecar driver, after looking over the Party City ads. She stuck with it and it really is the perfect outfit, cuz she can wear comfy clothes underneath, and there is no 'headgear' to the costume. I will never understand why costume makers would think that kids would wear something on their heads! And Cole in my mind just absolutely had to be a vampire this year! His paleness, naturally pointing down hair and broken front teeth. And boy did he make a handsome one! I spent two days shopping at 5 stores trying to find a size 2 vampire costume, unsuccessfully. I am so blessed to have a mom who can sew. She made this costume in one night, and lost some sleep staying up to do it. She did such an awesome job, and I hope that the pictures show her amazing talent. Who can make a costume out of two pieces of satin with no pattern? Only my mom as far as I know. Check out the pics and tell me what u think.

my son Golden K. Warren

I am so sorry to all the people I didn't get to see at all or didn't spend a lot of time with. I only get to see Gold once a year and I really have to make the most of it. I rarely get a picture of him for an entire year and talking on the phone just is not that awesome when he is 10 and a boy and I am 29! So I am sorry, and please don't feel blown off. I feel very strongly about making a relationship with him and answering questions if he ever has them. My aunt and uncle are doing a really great job with him. He is so smart, has a wonderful vocabulary, and is interested in such a variety of things. He almost never watches TV which has helped him be a lot more creative. He does all different kind of art, and had an "art show" in downtown KC not too long ago. He actually sold like $300 worth of stuff. He is also interested in calligraphy, paper making and researching famous signatures of our founding fathers, also reading about the declaration of independence. He is in a swim club and also does golf lessons. He eats really healthy, too. Mahna and he were connected at the hip from the moment we got there! It was so awesome to see them getting along so well. Mahna was non stop happy the whole time. It was amazing how after so long of not seeing each other (he who is an only child) and she who is use to being the oldest in her house and in control, played and created so naturally. I am so thankful that I got to go. We went to the punkin patch one day and the zoo another. It was a very fast trip, like always, but lots of good moments together. And the drive was nice as a family. We all got along, were peaceful, and laughed. p.s the picture of Gold w/ the pillow case is one my mom made him out of "coin" fabric and put his name on it!

pix

sorry i never post on here, probly no one even looks at it anymore..... so here are some pics for anyone who cares.....i blog on MYSPACE all the time, so if u wanna check it out email me and i will send u a link. the pics are #1 me thinking of a wish on my bday Oct 5, #2 anna me and mom #3 4 and 5 are mahna and cole taken today!

out of the office

If u call or email me I am leaving the country!!!!! I will be unable to reply. Back on Tuesday, talk to u then! Pray for no hurricanes for us.



HUGS!

keepin up

My lovely friend CinCin got me this journal that is a 10 yr journal. I haven't been keeping up w/ it but I have sorta been keeping up w myspace. Seems like I can only do one or the other.

Mahna and I have been reading lots o' books lately, which makes me really excited and hopeful for her educational future. She will sit thru entire books and chooses them over TV a lot lately.

Cole is talking more and more. He will go on rants talking about stuff. Today he said "I want Daddy" and he can say "It's raining" whenever Jarrod turns on the sprinklers he says it is raining. Lately at night the kids have been playing outside in the hose. We haven't been swimming this week, but they are going to mom's casa tomorrow while I clean two houses so maybe they will then. We did go to the waterpark while my cuz was here last week. I love the waterpark!

Today was an awesome day, in my opinion. Yaz and me and all our kiddos had an outting, went to chicfila and then hung at my house and I did blonde streaks in her hair. I am mad at myself for not taking a pic of her hair after she dried it cuz it looked so purdy on her.

Happy and Sad

I am sooooooo happy cuz I got my van today!!!!!!!!! It is so perfect, I love it. I will try to find time to post the pic tomorrow! Thank you Mommy and Daddy for the loan. :)

I had a great day cuz my sissy poo Anna stayed w/ me last night and today (of her own free will) helped me clean my house and played w/ my kids and helped me grocery shop and water for Miss Di. It was such an enjoyable time, I must say!

I am sad cuz Mahna "watered" my phone and it is truly dead now. So if you have been trying to call me the last couple days, I am not ignoring you, I just haven't got a new one yet.

Weds night update

Today my mama came and picked us up and let me use Anna's car cuz Jarrod was using the Altima, and watched the kids while I watered at Diane's and then visited Anna at the place she's at. We had a great time talking and I just love my sister so much. I felt the need to say that publicly. She is a super cool person, 10 yrs younger than I. I feel really blessed that with such an age gap, she is one of my grandest friends. My mom invited Mahna to spend the night. Mahna loves Gramma Dar soooo much. She looks at pictures and tells me "I miss Gramma Dar". I am glad mom will let her stay with her even though she has to share the bed with a little 3 yr old sleeping kickboxer. Jarrod and I had fun tonight just playing w/ Cole. Jarrod is determined to teach him (at 17 months old) to correctly hit a plastic baseball off of a T Ball stand. It is super heart warming to watch daddy and son play and hug and play fight. Mahna loves to play fight, too. I love both of my babies so much, and feel overly blessed and undeserving of having a boy and a girl.

Tomorrow is work day..... every Thursday I clean 2 houses, but I think I only have to do one this week. Too bad for the money, but it works out well, cuz it's Tina's last day of school and I will get to pick her up in the yellow bug car which she has been asking me to do forever. Our plan for tomorrow night is to go to dinner at Pancho's (one of Jarrod's favorite places to chow down).



Thanks for reading, friends!

you got me

Brent had to remind me how much I have changed in a few years. I swore a couple years ago how I would NEVER drive a van. I was determined to drive a 2 door mustang no matter WHAT! I had two carseats in one at one time. LOL. Okay, well now I like to tote around my nieces and their friends. Or I like to take my friend and her two kids places like the arboretum which is 40 min away. It is just nice to take ONE car! And yesterday we rode w/ Jarrod on his route in the car (altima) from 1-6 pm and there was two adults and three kids and it felt crammed. I never use to like bigger vehicles. Didn't like driving my parents Pathfinder when we lived in Utah, but now I like the openness. Now I 'will' say that I won't ever get like a Suburban or a Hummer cuz that is just too huge. But quote me on that cuz like Brent said, ten yrs ago I was moshing at Marilyn Manson, and today I am stoked over having a minivan to take lots of little kiddies to the water park in! HA

my lucky day!!!!!!!!

Jarrod bought me a van!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have been wanting one for sooooooo long, so I can take my nieces and their friends and mahna and her friends etc........ around here and there. Now I can! Plus I haven't had my own vehicle for like two years! I finally will! I can give my parents car back and have A/C that works!!! I am so excited I can't stop smiling! Mahna kept saying "I wish we had a van, I wish it was blue" and guess what...... it's a blue van! AAAAAAh I am so happy. Thank you God!!!!!!!!!!



Ps I get it next week!

Free Baby Botox....and when do you feel most FREE

Babies are offering free botox you know. Any baby or kid will be happy to sling their head back and whack you in the lip to create that lovely puffy lip thing many women pay high bucks for. Happened to me today. Wow do I look great!

And I was laying down with Cole tonight to put him to sleep and I realized that although I am tied down at these times, I feel quite free. Why, do you ask? Because when I sing to him, I am free to sing whatever song I feel. And my songs of choice are quite often Christmas songs. I am free to sing them in May.

When do you feel most "FREE"?

not a lotta

we went to lara's wedding yesterday and it was very purdy. i saw a lady there who fired me a while back. she was a devilish psycho, so i am glad she canned me. i have only gotten fired from her I think..... anyway it was a very purdy wedding. I was smiling the whole time. Jarrod and Mahna came, too, which was great lovey fun. It was cool to hear the vows in a different way (they were worded differently) and it reminds you the promise you made in marrying your spouse. Last night I fell asleep on the futon w/ Cole in his room and woke up at 2 a.m. and Mahna was in bed w/ Jarrod and had peed the bed so I had to clean her up and her and I are changing sheets right now. She is griping at me to get offline, so I better obey my 3 yr old.

ps she told me this morning that "Cooey" her imaginary friend "stole her boyfriend out of her life" ! Hilarious!

portraits

PICS (Scroll down for new post also)

impatient w/ da sik-ness

I am ready to feel 'great' again. I am still deadish feeling and sweaty even tho, no fever. Got the results of my test back today and it was a raging "YES" you had a severe kidney infection. I had pretty much realized that by now, but tests are good. Especially when you pay cash money for them. LOL. Jarrod and I are both getting sore throats and Mahna has had a cough so it's like oh here is the NEXT round of sickness. Heaven forbid we all just be comfortable.



I am in the process at this moment of downloading pix on my computer. My nieces will be here in a few, so there is a good chance I will get interrupted and NOT get to put them online. But we can hope for the best..

Tiffany I am so excited you posted a belly pic. Your tum looks awesome!

Thanks for the friends who cared when I was sick. It means a lot and shows who's who. Love you guys! XOXO

And other than that life is busy and great. We finally got our taxes out (thanks for the help Casey) and Cole is taking two hour naps most days. Jarrod forked out the cash for me to get the doggie groomed today. Tomorrow I am getting her ear looked at at the vet. (She has a cyst or sumthin). Mahna is so much fun, I just want her to stay 3 yrs old forever. Cole is fun, too, but SUCH a mama's boy. Won't let anybody have much to do with him. My mother in law has been awesome about helping me this past week and at the beginning of the week Mom took Mahna and Cole a few days in a row and even kept Mahna over night (mahna was sooooo excited) not to mention she bought them some cool new clothes! My wonderful sister Kendra sent me $ to help w/ the DR bill and that was so thoughtful. I liked the letter she sent cuz it said she had meant to put offering in the plate but sent it to me instead!

This is a super rambling post but like I said I am not back to normal (or is this normal?) so that's my excuse.

chillin

My body temperature returned to a normal numeric digital read out last night. The first time in SIX days! It felt like I could do anything all of a sudden. Ugh, except I jump up to do something and have this hella pain in my ribs and side. And a wierd thing, too. My fever went away and I had like a sweep of anxiety that lasted a couple of hours. I sort of felt like I just came out of a coma and realized that I semi "missed" the past week. Wierd feeling. So I am very thankful that the antibiotics worked and I am no longer a sweating feverish looney toon who can't watch her own children!
Anyway I still have this pain, but the DR says now that maybe it is just a pain from my kidney radiating somewhere else. Sounds a little like medical b.s. but I'll buy it. It's cheaper than having my gallbladder removed. :) I get the 'actual' test result back Monday. (they charge a fortune and make you WAIT!) devils

she gives me fever

(this was written Tuesday)


I have had a fever of 102.7 since thurs night and its crazy horrid having a fever. I can’t even remember the last time I did. It breaks at least once a day and I sweat buckets and it goes down to about 100.7 then inches back up. I also have a headache that feels like an exploding mushroom helmet. This morning it was 103.4 so I started calling my OB because I also have had a wicked pain in my side for two straight wks which i tried to blow off as a pulled muslce but the last few days has gotten so bad it hurts to walk and i can’t sleep comfortably. So my wonderful kind hearted Doc squeezed me in and after running various tests and doing a sono said all he could do was treat it as a kidney infection w/ a shot of antibiotics and pills to take at home but it is more likely my gallbladder so if pain isn’t better by tomorrow night I have to go to the ER since I have no insurance. But if it is that then I will get nothing but sicker.



Crazy eh? I am a dizzy sweaty mo fo. Pray for me homies.

and time marches on

I think that one day I will be at Walmart getting groceries alone, and think, "this cashier doesn't even know I have kids". Seems funny, but I rarely, if ever go to the store alone. And it usually starts out as a peaceful jaunt. Of course I have to mentally insist on always going to Walmart, so I can pick up some socks or get the babyfood for 10 cents less, the laundry soap for a dollar less......I can count on being able to do the 'self checkout'. Of course self checkout seems goofy to some when I am wrangling two kids tired of being at the store, but seriously. If I have to put something back cuz I don't have enough money, it is not embarrassing this way. Mostly, though, it is just that by the end of a bi-weekly run through the store I am usually pretty agitated either about how much money I am about to not have or that Mahna had to go potty twice in 30 minutes, or Cole spit out his pacifier on the raunchy floor. At least if I do self checkout, I generally "don't"
have to interact with another adult and pretend that I am a patient, super-mom. I can hurry, I can get out to the car and chill out.

So anyway, all that said because one day I won't have little kids anymore and I just know I will miss it. I will be lonely in the walmart aisles. I will wonder where my kids are and wish I could take them potty and wonder what kind of horrid influences their peer are being on them at the moment. I will wonder where my youth went and why was I stressed out in my 20s and thinking I looked like shit when I am 35 or 45 now and really DO and can't fix the problems without expensive surgeries.

So I guess I am writing this for myself to remember to enjoy the moments and savor the flavor of young kids who say I love you and "mommmmeeeee" constantly. And try to ignore the fact that I have no self and no life besides them. XOXO thanks for reading!

ditto of the myspace

Jeez it is one a.m. and I should be tired but I drank coffee at 10 pm like I knew I shouldn't. I took a shower at midnight and really don't want to blowdry my hair nor do I want to go to bed w/ it wet. I did a couple loads of laundry and need to do three more. I visited the dentist this past week and found out my TMJ is worse than I thought and I have worn enamel off two of my molars. Speaking of molars, Cole is cutting two! Poor little fella. I wouldn't have even checked for that but he was screaming and I looked in there and sure enough... Jarrod took Mahna and I to eat at the "Gaylord" (only locals know this is not a homo bar, but a fancy conventionish place with lots of fancy restaurants and shnazzy decor inside). Mahna wore my diamond necklace and earrings and was all decked out even wore her hair up fancy like Jarrod requested. She was amazed and in awe of everything at the place and carried her little purse like a real princess. I will have to post the pics...... It melts my heart the way Jarrod dotes on her and wants to show her special things in life. I hope he continues to always want to spend special time with her. She repays him generously with kisses and calling him "daddy". Cole is walking like a pro these days, even walks out to the car with me holding his hand sometimes. He knows what he wants and will say yes, no and thank you. We just have to work on his bullying cuz he likes to hit and head butt and today poked a little 6 mo old in the eye (out of curiousity more than meanness). Business is the same and we need it to be going UP. Attempting to refinance the house has been more pain than it's worth because of being independently employed. Such is life, but the beat goes on.

baz

Anyone remember that Baz Luhrman "song" that came out like 10 or less yrs ago. "Wear Sunscreen". They seem to replay it around graduation time but I heard it today. It is cool to hear like once a year because different parts of it strike me in a different way. This time when I heard it, I noticed the part that says "don't depend on anyone to support you, you may have a trust fund, you may have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one will run out".

Another good part of it is "Get to know your parents, you never know when they will be gone for good"

If you are more interested or don't know what "song" i am talking about, google "Wear Sunscreen"

and if you assume you know why certain parts strike w/ me, you may be wrong, if you want to know, email me. i just don't feel comfortable enough using blogger as a diary anymore.

for Cathy, flower pix

The Red flower is Mom's, the white/pink is mine. Started as a bulb. Thanks Cathy!!!

pix

Me N J-rod on our way to Glass Cactus, mine and Jana's kids and the neices, Mahna eating in Cole's highchair

crazyassmamalife

I can't believe how buzy I stay. It is wierd, when I stop and think about it. The computer is my outlet, my vice, and I barely have had more than once a week to check it. Right now I am risking it cuz the kids are running free playing or fighting together in the living room while I take two seconds to blog in my bedroom. I miss my laptop, having the freedom of it ya know. But it got fried because well I have bad karma or bad luck, depending on who you ask. I took it to get fixed and they said new motherboard, $1500 not worth fixing, blah blah blah.

My parents moved to Denver on Saturday night. They are excited. I am depressed. They haven't sold their house yet, so there is hope they won't stay. They got an executive apartment paid for by dad's work. They will be back to visit in a month. Sigh........ My sadness comes from my perfect plan to let my kids live and grow up by their grandparents at least while they were young-young like under age 12. Anyway my bubble is burst and Mahna is quite sad about not getting to visit grandma as much. I don't bring it up and am being careful not to talk about it around her. But she brings it up. It also doesn't help that their dog, Elliott died last week and Mahna is still sad about that, too.

On to happier thoughts........ um........ Cole is finally over a 3 wk sickness and I am so glad to be out of that canyon. It was hard to clean up so much puke day after day after day and also deal with me not sleeping and him constantly crying. Thank God for Klonopin, every mom should have a bottle just for those nutty days. And speaking of drugs, I also bought a box of Vivarin. NOT viagra. LOL Vivarin, you know, like 'no dose'. I took a half of one instead of drinking 5 cups of teeth staining calorie dense (cuz I put ten tons of cream in it) coffee. It was funny to buy a box of it tho, cuz Nikki and me use to take those things as teenagers so we could stay up all night. LOL so funny to think back on. That was our age of innocense before the real drugs.

And last but not least, my list of things that need done: Cole needs a haircut. I need to go to the dentist. Penny has a cyst on her ear. The cats need shots. Jarrod needs more work. I need to find some babyshower games by tomorrow. I need to change Cole's diaper.......... guess I better go.

cole bday pics part one of two

please scroll down to next post as well for the last five pics

Cole's First Birthday (Dec 28)

Merrrrrrry Christmas. Here's the pics.

Sorry that some are facing the wrong direction. My pics copied as 'read only' to my external hard drive. If anyone knows how to fix, please share!!! :)

Enjoy the pics. They are from 5 different 'gift opening' occasions.

christmas pics part 2 of 3