Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers...

No, I am not singing this Garth Brooks song tonight. Today I am so excited because Jarrod had an interview with a new company. He may be getting a job where he does not drive anymore. He would be a dispatcher for a different courier company, and a boss over 27 people. The job will take 6 months of training just to learn it! He will get paid vacation and insurance, which he has never had with a job. It would be such an awesome opportunity for him and for us. I am so anxious for him to get it, I can hardly stand it. And it isn't even about money. It is about him having a job where he feels needed and probably would not dread going every day. I so want him to be happy with what he "does" and he has been talking for so long about having a job where he just drives to work and parks his truck instead of driving his truck 180-200 miles a day and spending $125 a week on gasoline. He has been wanting a "normal job" and I think has always believed he would not get one until he gets his GED and goes to college or something, although he still hadn't figured out 'what he wanted to do'. He has been in the courier bizness 5 1/2 years now, so he really knows a lot about it and the company he is with now is not moving him up or around in any good ways. I just am so excited and hopeful. I am probably getting my hopes up too much, which is always bad, but I can't stop it now, it is too late. He had his first interview today and they want him to come for two more interviews. The next one is on Tuesday, so I will be praying like crazy until then and appreciate anyone else doing the same.

Thngs 2 Lk Frwrd 2 & Thngs 2 B nrvs about

I am looking forward to seeing my neices all day today, but I am nervous that they will drive me nuts. I am so much moodier the last couple days than I have been lately. That is NOT a good thing. I feel myself getting irritable about the dumbest stuff and I am like ok chill out Caroline there is nothing to be mad about. I am also looking forward to having dinner w/ Jackie tonight. I see her maybe 2-3 times a year and always enjoy our conversations. I am nervous I won't be friends w/ people anymore who dont have kids cuz they will think it is annoying that I have a kid. :( I am looking forward to the baby being born, but I am sad I won't be pregnant anymore. I have over a month to enjoy it and appreciate all the things I will enjoy about having my body to myself again (sort of). I am getting lots of advice lately about the realities of life w/ baby, and life w/ toddler etc. It is keeping me in check I think, because I really have been all ga ga loopy excited about her coming and I know I am gonna get slapped in the face. It will actually be good to have people to say "I told you so".

after all that hoo haw

After all my hooing and hawing about wanting to have a natural birth, I am actually wanting a C Section now.

I will let that sink in to anyone who even cares in case u want to feel disappointed in my taking the easier way out, or if u want to sit back and say I told you so! haha

My decision is based on several things. One is that I already have a scar on my belly from Gold. So why scar anything else? I can also schedule this, which means everyone I want to be there should be and Jarrod can make sure he is off work. I won't have to go through numerous hours of labor and waiting........... and neither will my family. In about 5 minutes I will have a baby in my arms, who is hopefully healthy and has a nice round head. No fears of ruptured uterus, emergency hysterectome (sp?) or cords wrapped around the neck. These sound like good things to me. The only thing that doesn't sound good is being heavily drugged after my baby cakes is born. But I suppose that will mean it is Jarrod's time with the baby, and that is okay. I feel good about this decision.

Have a great FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!
Caroline

just to make sure

Today I had a DR appt. and my mom wanted to go w/ me to see if she could talk the doctor into another ultrasound. I thought YA RIGHT. Last time I went, I asked him if I could have another one and he said "not unless something goes wrong". Well all my mom had to do was mention that we wanted one and he said okay. I almost fell off the table! So he did it himself and showed us all the bones and heart and placenta and abdomen. Everything looks find and healthy. And it is a GIRL! :) YIPPEEEEEEEEEE I am so glad that it is still a girl. I know that sounds funny but you never know what they can miss on an ultrasound and my first one was at 21 wks, so it could have just not showed that it was a boy yet. It is a good thing cuz she has a whole closet full of pink pajamas. :) We have about a million PJ's and like 2 regular outfits, haha. Oh well my mom said babies wear pajamas all the time anyway. I am so looking forward to her getting here. I even can't wait to change her diapers.

So, sorry about the legnth of time it has been since I blogged last. I have had things to say but just haven't taken time to type them. My brother came home Friday. My mom went and picked him up in Denton. He seems pretty happy to be home and is looking better so I think he is okay for as okay as he can be. I am still worried about him but it is good to know where he is and I see him almost everyday. I think Anna is happy for him to be home, too.

Mahna's baby shower was on Sunday. It was awesome! I had so much fun having so many friends and family members in the room. I missed the people who couldn't come... like my sister, Kendra and Jarrod's mom and my friends Jackie and Kimmy. The cake was so yummy and the snacks were good. I got so much cute stuff it was unbelievable. A few people went in to buy the stroller/car seat which is SUCH a huge relief. Everything was so cool and it was so great to see some people that I hardly ever see.

Have a good day!!!!!!! Caroline

Finding Franky

Things that are on my mind: my brother. I am worried about him. I dreamt about him and it was not good. No one has heard from him in days and he isn't even trying to come home. I know he is into some stuff that is dangerous, but probably lots of fun. I am sure he is just out there having a good time, doing what he wants to do. I have been there... It is just scary because I worry that he will be the one out of a hundred that falls out. Drugs are one thing, but then there is all the people who hate gays. If he flaunts his drama in front of some angry redneck or whoever, there is a good chance of getting beat up. Hopefully his friends he is with now are people who have his back and are just good suport for him for whatever he needs right now. It is just sad without him around. I know it is bothering my mom and dad. I wouldn't know what to do if I was them. He is 18 now... Who knows. I don't.

dreamz

I had a wacky disturbing dream last night. Not one that I want to re-live by writing it, so I am just teasing you here. I just wanted to share that I had a wacky dream. It was actually this morning after Jarrod's alarm went off. Usually after he leaves at about 6:45 or 7 a.m., I go back to bed til 8, 9 or on really pitiful days 10. Today , no, I am staying up cuz that dream was wacked out.

I feel like I have forgotten to blog something lately but I dunno what it is. hmmmmmm

well anyway Donnie came over last night and brought his friend Brandon who happens to be a computer lover. So he made my lil laptop faster and he also got my macintosh switched back over to modem instead of DSL. I really have such a small knowledge of computers man! Anyway so I am excited b/c although my Mac isn't totally ready to go now, I can at least download pics on it now and hopefully send some to anyone interested. Pics of what? I don't know! haha.

Oh ya also this weekend, Jarrod put up a shelf in the baby closet, did I already say that? And he fixed the dryer, well at least temporarily but it made me temporarily happy, haha. Usually it won't work for 2-3 days and this time it wouldn t do crap for two weeks!

My poor poor Scout (kitty) has to get his shots today and get some medicine. He is not going to like me come the end of this day!

Yesterday Anna helped me clean a house which was oh so joyous. Haha. I am really glad I have her to help me, I know I already said that, but seriously. Yesterday she didn't even want paid, she just wanted me to help her do her chores. I won't say it was EASY (physically) but it saved me some $ and made her chores go by fast, plus my mom got a professionally cleaned bathroom haha. :)

Well I am so looking forward to my shower Sunday. I can't wait to see all of you that come! Let's eat cake! :) MMMMMMMMM

sunny sunday

Well, I did it again, I slept in too late to go to church. I do it every week and get mad at myself every time. I totally enjoy going to church, yet I still don't make it part of my regularly scheduled programs. I keep thinking "maybe when the baby comes....." but how the heck could getting another person up and ready make things easier??? NO CLUE!

Yesterday Jarrod put up a shelf and clothes bar in the baby closet. I am so happy! We went to Home Depot to get the junk and like 1 hour later it was DONE. So that is awesome and I am so proud of him for just getting it done instead of putting the stuff in there for another day.

I also talked to a long lost friend (Sherry) yesterday. She got the shower invite and is coming so that is really cool, and I am glad it got us back in touch again after almost a year. She had some sad news, though. Her ex-boyfriend and her baby's daddy, died in February of an overdose. Her kiddo is about 3 1/2 yrs old I guess. Now he has no dad, not that his dad was much of a dad in the first place. She said the hardest part is that it is "permanent". So sad..... Makes me worry about my brother. Sometimes I think he is one of the careless druggies. I believe there are careless, lifelong druggies and more careful, temporary druggies. I have a wacky perspective on most things in life, but I truly believe this one. I just really hope that I am wrong about Franky.

So today I guess we might go to the horse races. Tonight my parents and Anna get back from Kanasas City and I will get to see some pictures of Gold! YIPPEE> I haven't seen pics of him in almost a year. So that will be cool, and thank God Anna is back cuz I totally need her help cleaning houses and I might have FOUR this week! YIKES.

Have a great day!!!!!!

YIPPEEE

The last couple days I have been sort of bummed out because I found out Kendra and Jarrod's mom can't come to the baby shower. Cindy also told me only a couple people have RSVP'd, so I have just been sad, because I want everyone to be there and I want to tell all of them how much they mean to me. So Nikki, my dear friend from Kansas City since I was like 12 years old called me yesterday and said she is renting a car to drive out here for the shower! So that makes me really happy. It will be fun to have a girl-friend here for a couple days anyway, cuz I never have anyone (of my friends) over here.

Well last night I worked on clearing out the baby room a lot. I still have some more to do and I made a list of everything that I need to do still. I will feel so much better once that room is done. I guess that is part of "nesting" because it is not direly important, but it FEELS important. I just don't have energy lately to work in there more than an hour. And unfortunately I can't finish the sewing projects w/ out my mom (crib bumper, glider cover and curtains) and she is out of town. Sniff sniff.

Well have a good Saturday!!!!!!! Caroline

Laundr-o-mat and baby stories

Yesterday I had the dreaded task of going to the laundrymat, how ever you spell that. There is one real close to my house so it is not that big of a deal to drive there, but I live in a very hispanic neighborhood and area, so the dryers are always taken up and everyone around me is speaking a language I don't know. One thing I always realize when I go, though, is that hispanic people seem to be the happiest people. They usually have 50 kids running around and yet the women are just talking and laughing away while they do 10 loads of laundry, in a super hot room. Yesterday was no different. I got lucky because there was only one other lady there, so I got to split all my stuff between almost all the dryers and it went by pretty fast. She was so nice, though. I bet she was 80 years old or more, and she was trying to speak english to me, which made me feel like crap for not knowing any espaniol. She gave me her cart and I was thinking how some people can be really rude to big huge pregnant ladies and some people who deserve to be pampered (older ppl) try to take care of huge pregnant ladies. Anyway it was sweet of her to give up her cart, cuz it really does kill my back to carry a basket of wet clothes from my car into the laundrymat. I have a dryer at my house, you see. It is just MOODY! I don't know if it is the electrical wiring in this house or my dryer. I really NEED to check into it more, but do I ever? NO, I just go to the laundrymat when it quits working for a week, or in this case, two weeks. Anyway I guess I better do something about it SOON, since I can't let baby clothes go as long as I can let me and Jarrod's clothes go, haha.

oh as for my title, about baby stories, I am such a junkie for shows on baby stories, like when they are born, how the pregnancy goes, etc etc. I am not a TV person, but I do watch about an hour a day now catching up on all the possibilities of what could go wrong, trying to judge how painful it is goign to be to give birth naturally. Trying to decide if I should have an epidural or be brave super woman.

Ok well enough boring you for today, adios for now!

hap_eeeeeeeeee and thankful

I am happy today b/c I went to the doctor and he said everything is going GREAT, and baby has turned head down. That makes me really happy. I am so thankful that everything is going smoothly. My blood pressure is great, no excessive swelling (just chubbiness haha) and the baby is active and her heart rate is speeding along. I know there is a chance she could turn back around but I am happy knowing she is head down for now.

Well I was supposed to clean a house today but she doesn't want me to come until NEXT monday, darnet. Oh well. It's just money. And Evelyn isn't back in town, either, so it looks like I am off work til Friday. Next week cleaning will probably pick back up. Lucky for me Anna is willing to help me! We can rock through a house, I tell ya!

This past wknd we had so much fun. We went to Galveston, which Anna had not been there before, and the weather was awesome. It felt SO good floating around in the ocean! She learned to boogie board. We stayed at the Flagship hotel which is built right over the water. The view was AWESOME but the hotel was raunchy. I didn't care, I was there for a good shower and the ocean! :)

Thanks for reading! LOVE YA!

the point IS

The point of this journal IS that I type little bits o' my life so if I forget to tell ppl certain things they can just read them on my journal. That way I don't have to tell 10 ppl the same thing in 10 separate emails. It is a time saver, okay! :)

So la de da today I drove my dadeo to the airport and then I got to borrow his convertable, which I had the top down of course. It is such a smoooooth riding car and the weather was so awesome this morning it felt great! Then I went and cleaned a house which was very tiring. I am glad I didn't work out this morning, too, or I would REALLY be sore right now. Tonight I am picking up Anna again, so I will have her to help me clean tomorrow. YEA! Last night I babysat my neices (sp?), Casey's kids who live w/ Jarrod's parents. We watched some cartoons w/ Jarrod for a little bit and played Crazy 8's then we went and got snowcones at my favorite snowcone stand in the Kroger parking lot. Tina (5 yr old) talking the snowcone guy's head off the whole 30 min we were there. It was cute that he was actually listening to her and he is so nice. It is obvious he likes snowcone bizness cuz of the kids. Then we wanted to kill some more time before coming back home cuz Jarrod was watching BASEBALL and my house is not so fun for kids, so we went to Kroger and looked at all the grocery toys and the hula hoops and bounced basketballs. We only spent $1 there and that was on the little merry go round ride things out front. I can't believe grocery stores still have those things! haha. So that killed another 40 minutes then we went back to my house for coloring picture time and they decided they wanted to take showers at MY House cuz I have good smelling soap. That made me feel good and I figured I was helping out Jarrod's mom by washing their hair and all that junk. There is no vent in our bathroom tho, so it was SO hot in there by the time we were done. Jarrod told me I was doing a good job practicing being a mommy. Hmmmm, am I ready for this, REALLY???

Well that is all for now. Tonight I get Anna, tomorrow I clean and hopefully go swimming at Cindy's, Saturday, pool party or the horse races, and Sunday and Monday we will be in Galveston! WOO HOO! Thanks for reading my blog, leave a note saying HI!

CAROLINE