Boo HOO

I am bummed cuz I had to miss Tivany's going away dinner last night. I can't take Cole in public places yet and it really just doesn't work to leave him with a babysitter (family of course) even for a couple hours. He eats sometimes every hour and is still a little young for getting used to bottle and breast. Now I am afraid we are going to have to miss the super bowl party next weekend too. And I tell ya there is nothing I would love to do more than go have a drink or two and let loose a little bit. It literally has been almost a year since I did that. Although I have to say thanks to my friend for yesterday bringing me breakfast and mimosas. MM yummy Saturday morning.
It's been a fun familyish weekend. K & J are here from Austin so we had some crafty fun Fri night and thank you momma and gg for entertaining the chillin's so I could relax for a couple hours and have fun with my siblings. Last night we watched Little Miss Sunshine. I would recommend it fo' sure. It was a trip of a movie and had that independent film feel to it but not overly so. Its always cool to see Mahna play with her aunts and uncle and to see my dadeo hold baby Cole. Today Jarrod's workin on his car at his brother's house then hopefully working on cleaning the garage> I need to get started on our taxes but ugh what a job......
Hugs to all readers. Look forward to reading YOUR blog entries, too.

what am i doing blogging?

I have so much to do. All the time! Oh my gosh my life is so much busier now. I like it, though. But I do wish I could get online more without cutting into my sleep time haha.
Today lots of loads of laundry, breathing treatments for Cole, still trying to get Cole's insurance situated, Call the DR for more samples of steroid for breathing machine, Bake a cake for Jarrod, pick up mahnas toys, feed children again and again....., record a video for Gold, wrap Nikki's Christmas present, put away piles of paper accruing on counters, change sheets..... What am I doing blogging??? haha
Cole went to DR tues and he is doing better but can't be weaned to less breathing treatments yet. He is gaining weight well and weighs 9 lb 3 oz already! That is amazing. Mahna weighed 7 lb 14 oz at 3 1/2 wks old! Whe was 5 1/2 wks before she made it to 9lb 2 oz. I am glad to see he is gaining weight faster than her. She always had me worried with her slow weight gain. Of course now she is pretty much normal size for her age but still short and that is to be expected becuz of Jarrod and my height. Cole was up from 2-6 a.m. this morning. That is a frustrating thing about new born babies. It drives me bonkers seeing Mahna and Jarrod sleeping so soundly and Cole wants to be awake and being held or eating eating and more eating. I am semi attempting to keep him more awake today so he will sleep better at night, but that is hard also, between playing with Mahna and all the stuff around the house I get distracted so he falls fasssssssst asleep. Time for breathing treatment, TOODLES

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO:
MOPS next weds (if I get to go)
Colorado vacation in July

just one picture

I am glad this is over.

thanks YO

Thanks for all the prayers. I sat in the hospital thinking that it would be all the prayers that would make the difference. It's so scary having a two week old baby hooked to machines, and breathing oxegyn. It's wierd, looking back, because the day of my c section I was having major major anxiety. So bad I turned white, almost puked, almost passed out... Anyway I am not a person prone to anxiety attacks and it was my third c section, so now looking back I wonder if it was like a premonition that everything for the next 3 weeks after that day would be majorly challenging, mentally.

H O M E

Home, sweet home. I couldn't have been happier when we drove up at 6 pm last night. There couldn't be a warmer feeling than having both of my babies and Jarrod all of us home together again. I am so thankful that Cole finally got better enough to leave the hospital after a 7 day stay. I had my moments during this week of crying out of frustration that he just was not improving. I had to really swallow down the heartache of seeing him hooked to machines and an oxegyn tube across his face. Really by the last couple days I knew he would be okay, and was thankful that he had RSV and not a heart condition or a disease. There were other kids on that floor that were on pain medicine. How sad is that? There were some babies who cried all night long, wailing crying. An older woman came to visit us and told us about watching her 7 week old granddaughter in the same metal crib fight and fight for her life and then pass away. This woman cried her eyes out and so did I over such a sad story that happened 14 years ago.... I have a lot to be thankful for.

when it rains.....

It pours. Cole was diagnosed with RSV on Tuesday afternoon, at the emergency room. This is a virus which can be mild to severe and require hospitalization. So far he is on the line. We are going again to the DR this morning to have his oxegyn saturation levels checked to see if he needs hospitalized. Please pray for him.
Our heater went out or locked up yesterday. I am calling our home warranty company and hopefully they can come out TODAY, as the house is freakin cold already. Not to mention there is a sick baby here and supposedly an ice storm coming this weekend.
I am in pain and I just have to get over it and keep moving, remembering there are people who have it much worse than I do and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.....6 weeks from now when I should be all healed.
Happy Thursday. Cole is 2 wks old today! Time's flyin'.

i just can't post

I don't know what to write. It's not like there is "nothing" going on in my life. I just don't know what to say or how to say it. If I start in about my incision issue I will sit here and whine about it, and that is pretty much on my mind all the time, so what else can I say? Cole is awesome. He is so adorable and I am truly treasuring every minute with him as I know he will grow very fast. Mahna is having a hard time behaving now that the attention is not all on her. It is also confusing to her that her mom can't pick her up anymore and everyone freaks out if she gets too close to my tummy. When Cole is asleep and Mahna is here, I try to give her lots of one on one attention. The last few nights we have been "baking" together. Last night we made brownies and tonight we made orange julius. She finally got over her fear of the blender! Haha. Now that SHE controls the button to turn it on. Jarrod has been rearranging our furniture lately because he hates our furniture. We can't just go out and buy what we want without getting into debt so I told him rearranging may make him feel better about this place where he lives. My mom has been so awesomely generous with her time taking me to the DR again and again and this week will be no exception, and on top of that Anna has to have a stomach scope done Thursday which they will have to put her to sleep for, so mom will be all over the place this week. My grandma has been keeping Mahna a lot even tho she also has this evil devil of a cold/virus that everyone in my family seems to have right now. UhOh baby cryin...... I better jump to his command! :) Thanks for reading

what's going on

Howdy readers. Thanks for the comments. My sweet little babykins is one week old now. And what a crazy week it has been..... He was born Thursday, we came home Saturday. Could have stayed til Monday but it was lonely and HOSPITALS SUCK. By the time we got home Mahna was pretty sick with fever and a bad cough. Lots of crying and not a lot of sleeping. Holiday weekend so we couldn't take her to the DR til Tuesday when we found out she has ear infection and medicine is working for her now and she is getting back to her old self. Cole had to go to the DR Tues and his biliruben levels were up. Mom had to take Mahna to the "sick waiting room" DR and I had to take Cole to the healthy side, it was a long day. THANKYOUMOM> So since his levels were up we had to go back again Weds, his levels are still at 11.8 but it isn't serious til 20 so they are assured that with lots of eating and sitting by the window in the sunlight he will be A-OK. My incision started bleeding Monday night so Tuesday I went to the DR as well, thinking they would say I worry too much and am a huge hypochondriac (sp?) Well I hadn't taken pain medicine that morning because after my appt we had to take the kids and I wanted a clear head. SO turns out they had to reopen the top layer of my incision and shove a bunch of guaze in my 1 inch deep wound. (it hurt just a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny little bit HA) So while I am trying to listen thru a cloud of tears and crazy pain, my DR is attempting half ass to explain to me how for the next four weeks my husband and mom will have to change this guaze and bandage twice a day and I will have to heal from the inside out. Oh and don' t do any housework or lift anything over 10 lbs. So I am officially only good for one thing: breastfeeding Cole. How fun is life? Once again I am so thankful for my mom and grandma who have taken care of Mahna all week while Jarrod has been at work and done all my laundry, dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking meals and driving to many many DR appointments. On the pessimistic side I feel caught in a bad dream because for me, it hurts my pride to have to ask for help and I constantly feel like I am getting on everyone's nerves. On the optimistic side, I could be forced to pay someone to help me or ask from those I don't know very well for help. Ok, well I finally posted an update and I surely wish it could have been more boring like "all is well yada yada" but this was more fun wasn't it?????? :) Everyone loves a little drama.

pix