I am having a pity party, so indulge me or just stop reading now.
Other people have lots of comments on their blog, every time they write. I sometimes write 3 entries before anyone comments. Maybe it is because I write about things that there is nothing to comment about. Or maybe no one reads my blog. Who ever said being a house wife means that your world gets very small, they were right. I am fighting against this though. I go to MOPS at Lakeland and am damn determined to go to church at Crossroads at least for now, at least to give it a fair chance. Mahna got kicked out of the nursery tonight when I tried to go, because she was crying. So it will be a challenge, no doubt, but I am determined. Not for social reasons, but because I want her to have sunday school and all that on a regular basis. I want to give her some forms of stability, since I myself am a basket case who can't seem to stick with anything long enough to make it matter. I am angry at myself, but I am not punishing myself, I just want to fix the things I do not like. For me, I want to fix them. I want to like who I am and be secure in who I am so I don't have to alter my words thoughts ideas to please someone else. i want to be a rock. How is that for a goal?
I am staying this past friday thru monday at my parents house, "babysitting" anna and franky. It has been quite fun, really. I do miss Jarrod, who is enjoying having a bed all to himself and listening to music loud at all hours of the night like he always did before Mahna was born. I don't think it is horrible to have a few day break once in a while. On the second night I stayed here we talked on the phone for 66 minutes in the middle of the night. That was fun.... it was like old times when I was still in Utah and he was here and we only saw eachother every 2 months. He drove at night then (job) and we would talk all night long, once for four hours....... he had quite an enormous cell phone bill. I think it might have been like $400 once. I had a really huge long distance bill too. Anyways. I guess I knew to marry him because of all those long conversations so far away..... well Mahna is awake. Goodnight.
Monday, September 19, 2005
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8 comments:
i still read your blog. i think it sucks that a baby (ahem, a BABY, for crying out loud!!!) gets kicked out of a nursery for crying. what the hell?! that's ridiculous.
i think you teach Mahna "Sunday School" every day. You are a terrific mother, you love her with sacrificial love. don't beat yourself up too bad...oh, and i'm sorry that two of the comments on here are spam. Lame-O!
love you. you're a mom like mimi was.
Relax, Steph! Don't worry..babies don't get "kicked out" of the nursery at CBC, but if a child has been crying for over 20 minutes, it's in the best interest of the child to get the mom. That happens at every church everywhere that has a nursery.
Anyway, I'm still looking for a "few day break"...when do I get mine? :)
And, if you're worried about comments, everybody gets tons now with blogger spam. Ugh.
Hey Chica!
I too think you are a wonderful mom and it shows when you see and watch Mahna... I do read your blog every time but I am bad about writing back... Have fun at your parents house :)
well actually I take Mahna to the gym and they find ways to entertain her and when I go to MOPS at Lakeland Baptist church they do not kick her out for the entire three hours that we are there....... so I wonder why, even though she was the only child in the nursery, they couldn't make her happy?
PS thank you for the nice comment Kendra!! so sweet of u to say i was a mom like mimi.......
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