This stupid freaking atkins diet man. You can't even eat TORTILLAS! How can I be a whole person with a trim waist and not be allowed to eat chips and salsa....I mean BOWLS of it as much as I want! Damn the man. Why can't I just be born w/ a perfect body AND a great personality! Why did I drink so much mountain dew as a kid and turn myself into a short ass squatty body??? It is all my parents fault. They didn't love me enough.......... just kidding.