hap_eeeeeeeeee and thankful

I am happy today b/c I went to the doctor and he said everything is going GREAT, and baby has turned head down. That makes me really happy. I am so thankful that everything is going smoothly. My blood pressure is great, no excessive swelling (just chubbiness haha) and the baby is active and her heart rate is speeding along. I know there is a chance she could turn back around but I am happy knowing she is head down for now.

Well I was supposed to clean a house today but she doesn't want me to come until NEXT monday, darnet. Oh well. It's just money. And Evelyn isn't back in town, either, so it looks like I am off work til Friday. Next week cleaning will probably pick back up. Lucky for me Anna is willing to help me! We can rock through a house, I tell ya!

This past wknd we had so much fun. We went to Galveston, which Anna had not been there before, and the weather was awesome. It felt SO good floating around in the ocean! She learned to boogie board. We stayed at the Flagship hotel which is built right over the water. The view was AWESOME but the hotel was raunchy. I didn't care, I was there for a good shower and the ocean! :)

Thanks for reading! LOVE YA!

the point IS

The point of this journal IS that I type little bits o' my life so if I forget to tell ppl certain things they can just read them on my journal. That way I don't have to tell 10 ppl the same thing in 10 separate emails. It is a time saver, okay! :)

So la de da today I drove my dadeo to the airport and then I got to borrow his convertable, which I had the top down of course. It is such a smoooooth riding car and the weather was so awesome this morning it felt great! Then I went and cleaned a house which was very tiring. I am glad I didn't work out this morning, too, or I would REALLY be sore right now. Tonight I am picking up Anna again, so I will have her to help me clean tomorrow. YEA! Last night I babysat my neices (sp?), Casey's kids who live w/ Jarrod's parents. We watched some cartoons w/ Jarrod for a little bit and played Crazy 8's then we went and got snowcones at my favorite snowcone stand in the Kroger parking lot. Tina (5 yr old) talking the snowcone guy's head off the whole 30 min we were there. It was cute that he was actually listening to her and he is so nice. It is obvious he likes snowcone bizness cuz of the kids. Then we wanted to kill some more time before coming back home cuz Jarrod was watching BASEBALL and my house is not so fun for kids, so we went to Kroger and looked at all the grocery toys and the hula hoops and bounced basketballs. We only spent $1 there and that was on the little merry go round ride things out front. I can't believe grocery stores still have those things! haha. So that killed another 40 minutes then we went back to my house for coloring picture time and they decided they wanted to take showers at MY House cuz I have good smelling soap. That made me feel good and I figured I was helping out Jarrod's mom by washing their hair and all that junk. There is no vent in our bathroom tho, so it was SO hot in there by the time we were done. Jarrod told me I was doing a good job practicing being a mommy. Hmmmm, am I ready for this, REALLY???

Well that is all for now. Tonight I get Anna, tomorrow I clean and hopefully go swimming at Cindy's, Saturday, pool party or the horse races, and Sunday and Monday we will be in Galveston! WOO HOO! Thanks for reading my blog, leave a note saying HI!

CAROLINE

Tooooooooooooooooosday

Howdy readers. Today is a rainy rainy day..... I feel bad for people who have pools and time off work. But ya know, then again it can be fun to have time at home doing housework or watching movies or cooking, eating, writing... reading. Yesterday I went and got Anna and we rented Candyman and 50 First Dates. Both are very good movies. Candyman was made in 1992, but it is still super scary and I do not think it is corny. I saw it when I was about 13 or 14 for the first time and it scared the jeepers outta me so I showed it to Anna who claims to not get scared at any movie. U will have to ask her yourself what she thought! :) So we are just hanging out watching movies and we wrote a couple letters to people, took showers and did a couple dishes. Oh and we had some yummy orange cinnamon rolls for breakfast.

My parents are on vacation in Colorado and having a fun time so far w/ their friends and riding motorcycles. I hope they will relax this week and not worry about stuff too much for once. Everyone needs a break here and there. Watching 50 First dates makes me want to go to Cancun again. I think I would enjoy it MORE this time. I mean I want to wait til after the baby is born of course, but I just think I would enjoy it more than I did two years ago. REASON is that we went w/ some friends a couple years ago and I was pretty insecure and jealous of a girl who was w/ us and it sort of messed up the trip. I think Jarrod and I are more secure in our relationship now and that I am not so afraid that he is goign to turn into cheating Jeremy all of a sudden. Caroline's deep fears, revealed! haha Anyway that is all for now talk to u soon. Leave a comment saying HI, unlike Stephy I am not secure enuf to say I don't need them! :)

happy pancake day

Today Jarrod and I get to go have pancakes at his mama's house. MMMM MMMM MMM. I have been craving pancakes for about two weeks now. Last wknd we attempted to make waffles in our wedding gift waffle iron, which we found out doesn't work. We only used it one other time but I guess it was defective or got messed up in the 2-3 times it has been packed and moved.

Yesterday Jarrod went to visit his brother Casey, in jail, in Tennessee Colony Texas. That is about 2.5 hrs away from Lewisville. By the way, anyone who didn't know, and cares, we found out his brother is getting out of jail in April. We have been living in his house while he was incarcerated, so that he didn't lose the one possession that he has while locked up. It has been fun, and still is, but we want our own house now. Fancy that!

While Jarrod was visiting Casey, I went and updated our registry at Target and Babies R Us. It was pouring rain all day, which made things a little more complicated, but it was ok. I had to update our registry cuz the official baby shower announcements have been sent out! I am so excited about the shower. Baby showers always have the best CAKE! :) ANyway I can't believe that registering was actually painful. After walking through two stores my hips and back hurt so bad, I came home and laid down.

When I was laying down, I watched part of Bruce ALMIGHTY. Seen it? That was a good movie. That is where I got the idea for middle name "Grace" for our lil baby. We haven't totally decided on that yet, but I heard that name and I thought of what Grace "is" and how much of it I have recieved...... And Mahna is part of that grace I have received. I am so lucky to be allowed to have another baby, this time w/ a guy I love so much and never want to be apart from. Everytime I go to the DR. he tells me I am such a LUCKY GIRL (his words) and I know he means cuz I am healthy and things are going well, but I know why I am really lucky.
XOXO HAVE A GOOD DAY! CAROLINE

beautisomous

Oh I love the new look of my blog so much, do you? I owe a huge thanks to my friend Cynthia from CMOORE web designs who did such an awesome job and is so fast and accurate! U ROCK!!!!!!! So I hope anyone out there who has a business which needs a website or just wants their blog to look cooler will check out my side bar to see how to get hooked up with her. I think it looks so pretty and it is all of what I would have done if I had the knowledge of web design! Thank you thank you thank you!

Well to anyone whose been reading. I got my results from the diabetes test and they were NORMAL!!!!!!! YEA! I am so glad! I had been watching all this stuff on discovery channel about things that can happen to your baby if you get that. Ugh, that channel is wonderful and horrid all at once!

Today was a good day, I cleaned a house, then got to visit w/ a friend for a while, said goodby to my parents who are leaving town for a bit and wrote a lil note for Kendra's graduation announcements. Now I need to vacuum and do some dishes at my own house. FUN!

Hope u all have a fun Friday!!! XOXO

sleepy again

Yep sleep should be out of my vocabulary from now on i guess. I wake up all night uncomfy and according to my friend it is my body getting me ready to get up every couple hours w/ my babycakes. Well this morning I am up early cuz I have to go take the 3 hr glucose diabetes test since I failed the 1 hr one last week. I have been waking up with puffy eyes every day, hopefully just from not sleeping well, but it freaks me out a little cuz that was the sure sign of toxemia last time.

Anyway last night we found a picture of Jarrod's best friend Jonathon who killed himself in 1998 on the internet. Jarrod never had a picture of him so that was really cool to find it. We found it on the denton county website cuz he had been arrested, so it is a mugshot but jarrod was still happy to get a picture. I would be really sad if i had lost a friend and never got a picture of them...

I also had a dream about my friend Nica last night. Well I don't know if we are friends anymore but once upon a time we were when we workedd
together at Vertis. Anyway her husband died a few months ago and I have never got to talk to her since it happened. So i had a dream I talked to her last night. It was really real feeling. I also dreamed that I saw someone else I knew who was pregnant and she was the same size as me but she was about to have her baby any day. So that was my insecurity of being a huge blob coming out. Haha.

Well have a great day, thanks for reading!!!!!!!!

anniversary

Yesterday was Jarrod and my 4th anniversary. Our anniversary so far has always been a "major" event of the year. We have always planned our vacation around it and made it a special time. This year we couldn't really go on a trip. I can't be in the car very long, we didn't have much money saved, etc etc. Mostly the reason is that I am pregnant. So anyway this year we hadn't even really talked about what we were going to do. I even thought the day before, that he was going to forget it altogether. Well he didn't. He told me first thing in the morning "happy anniversary" and we planned to cook dinner together when he got home. We very very rarely cook dinner, it is usually something quick or takeout. So anyway he grilled some really good steaks and put cheese on them like they do at Old San Francisco Steak house and he grilled corn, set the table, etc etc. He got me a really sweet card that just had a couple lines written on it but they mean so much to me. It was just a really great night. It took us about 3 hours to finish dinner, but we were having a good time the whole time. I told him it was probably the best anniversary yet. It is not about how much money you spend or where you can say you went, it is about showing the other person this day matters to you.

Today...... I cleaned a house and was wincing from the pain in my back about half the time I was there, and fantasizing about taking a leave of absense from housecleaning. I do this all the time. Plan a date for quitting temporarily. Then I think about the MONEY and what will I do if I am not cleaning a few times a week...... And can't I just push myself a little further... I know, some of u might be thinking I am doing something bad but maybe some of you also understand. I say some, like there are a million ppl who read this or something haha.

I also went to the DR today for my glucose test which took an hour. I don't know the results for 3 days. I am not too worried about it since I didn't have diabetes w/ Gold, but even if I do have it it will be GOOD if I can't eat sugar, then I won't gain so much weight haha.

OK well enuf of all that. ta ta for now

SLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Lately, I just want to SLEEP. It seems like the only time I am comfortable is when I sleep. I wonder what I will be saying in 2-3 months when I am really about to bust! Today I have 1 very messy house to clean and a 1/4 of a house to finish cleaning. I also have to pick my brother up at a bus stop in Lewisville. He went to Kansas City last week to pick up his graduation present.... a nasty old trashy subaru, and on the way out of town the hood flew up and busted the windshield to pieces. Besides that little detour the car was a piece of junk anyway so my dad decided to just bring him home instead of waiting to fix it or something like that. I wonder if he had a fun adventure on a bus trip from Kansas City. It is normally about an 8 hr drive, so I am guessing it was like 12 on a bus? When I was 18 I would have thought that was pretty fun. Who knows w/ Franky tho cuz he is kind of snobby about being dirty and around certain people. We shall see!

Yesterday ended up being a great day. Anna, Jarrod, mom, dad, G-ma and Tom all came swimming at Cindy's house w/ me. We grilled food and all just had a good time in the sun. Then one of Jarrod's friends had to stay the night last night. He is not one of my favorite people, but I was nice to him anyway. Jarrod and I agreed that he should only stay one night b/c of the circumstances etc, but now I am thinking well we could help him out a little more..... let him stay longer, give him a ride to work tomorrow.. i dunno. i don't know what is the right thing to do. Well anyway I better get going I am running late already.
ADIOS!!!!!!! HAPPY MONDAY!

tit for tat

haha i just titled this that, cuz what the heck does that mean!!! haha. well it has been a week since my last confession... i mean blog, but for the lack of comments I fear I have lost all my readers anyway. :( So lately i have been feeling pretty sick. Nauseous stuff and heat flashes. I am PREGNANT here not going thru menopause! It seems funny to me at 27 weeks I would start getting morning sickness, but I do feel nauseous pretty much every morning. My back hurts a lot more, maybe cuz I have gained so much weight already. I continue to work out and clean houses, though, because I know it must be GOOD for me to keep moving and not be on the couch the next three months. It is very tempting though. Yesterday I had a bad luck day. My friend's pool is messed up because of ME turning off a lever I thought was no big deal. She is in Europe and left me in charge of her house. Warning: Don't leave me in charge of your house. Then a lawn person almost ran over me in his truck yesterday. That just made me FURIOUS cuz I am a mood swing waiting to happen and well I had the right of way!!! Then my back hurt too bad to clean my OWN house after cleaning someone else's so I laid down on the couch and didn't wake up for almost two
hours which made me mad at myself b/c I hate giving Jarrod a dirty house for the weekend when he comes home from work. Then the dryer quit working AGAIN, I broke our light fixture over the sink. Taco Bueno screwed up Jarrods part of our dinner order so I had to drive BACK there. My car overheated on the way back to Taco Bueno and I had to be rescued. Hope fully it is nothing big, but we'll SEE. Oh and for the final thing I broke off a lightbulb in our ceiling fan.

Other than that...... well today HAS to be a better day right.

tiz a groovacious day

Yea, I am not really doing the deep meaningful blogs lately eh? (or was i ever?) well weds I cleaned for Evelyn. She slept most of the time I was there. She sleeps a lot lately. Other than that she always seems so alert and happy. I never really think of her as old until I get annoyed w/ going over there and then stop and think how this is a limited time offer I have going with this awesome lady. I've got the fear of death in me (while I am pregnant of all things). Today I spent a few hours at my grandma and Tom's house. I really think of Tom as my grandpa. I have known him a little over five years I guess, but I seem to know him more than I knew my real grandpa who died when I was 16. Anyway he has cancer and it is just getting worse. Monday he is having surgery again. The doctor said the surgery would improve the quality of the rest of the life he has left. That is depressing talk. It especially makes me sad to hear my grandma talk about "when Tom is not here anymore". They are so in love. They have all these common interests, like crocheting and sitting on the porch during nice weather. My graN-e poo never seems to feel pressured to be a better wifey etc etc. It is just cute. NEWAY it was cool to be around them, but it makes me so sad to think he won't live that long. So I guess this is a plea for prayer. A lot of ppl probably don't even know him, but what if all the blogger readers pray for him, won't he have a better chance for a miracle of overcoming cancer??? Ugh. On a happy note, we had Don Pablos fajitas w/ my parents tonight...mmmmmmm! That was fun. I felt lucky and happy to see my grandparents and parents in one day. Now I am off to watch Friday night TV w/ my huz. Happy Friday everybody!!!

oooooooh BAAAAAAAAby

wow, that must have been my longest slack off of the blog yet! thanks to anyone who cares to still check my blog! i really do like this blog thing, but I don't take the time to do it lately. Must be pregnant moodiness! haha. so hello out there. there is a good storm going on outside right now. Lotsa lightning and rain. The rain smells GOOD. Jarrod and I sat outside for a while tonight watching the storm. he watches every single one, when he is home. I have trouble sitting still, so it makes me glad to be w/ him.... he makes me do things I wouldn't by myself. Today I cleaned the house in Highland Village. Ugh. It is so hard, wears me out bigtime. I came home and soaked in the bath. To any other pregos out there that really does help w/ back pain. Trust me I know about the back pain. Well I was happy to find out one of my friends is pregnant. She will be about 4 mo. behind me, so that will be pretty cool. I am also housesitting right now for some ppl w/ a pool. That is awesome. Their backyard is like a resort! They also have five adorable cats. Hmmmmmm what else. I dunno for now, maybe more tomorrow.

decided

well jarrod and i decided and agreed today we want to name our lil gurl Mahna. For anyone who wonders it is pronounced MAaaaaaaahnuh. LOL LARA. well anyway today my mom anna and i had a garage sale and sold a bunch of our junk and then gave the rest to that monger of a thrift store CCA. i am sleeeeeeeepy cuz we only slept about 5 hours. i used to have NO idea why people couldn't live on 3-5 hours of sleep but today i have felt so horrible i can't believe i am in the same body i was 5 years ago, or heck even 6 months ago! i feel her moving in my belly all the time though, and it is so cool, like a secret kind of thing between us. so thats the story for today, more later, adios thanks for reading

last day in Utah

Today is the last day in utah, and i am oh so glad. I loooove being around my sister, though, and I will totally miss her. I just really miss Jarrod. I can't believe I haven't seen him in 5 days! He has been having fun with his family and friends, too, and stayed bizy so that is all good. We hang out like constantly so it is really wacky for us to be apart for this long. Also being in a hotel room w/ franky, anna, mom and dad for so many days it is kind of crowded and u know how u just get cranky w/ people after a few days. anywaysssss hope u are all doing good.

still happy clappy

I am still a happy woman, knowing i am having a girl. I just need to decide on a name. I really like Mahna for the reason of family. It was my beautiful grandma's name who died. She was the most awesome person. But I also like Audrey and I really have an urge to let Jarrod name our daughter. He just wants to let me decide. Well I am in Utah right now visiting Kendra, who graduated from COLLEGE yesterday. She is too accomplished i tell ya! We have had a lotta fun tho. It is fun being on a vacation w/ my family, like olden times. But I miss my huzband a lot, too. It is weird sleeping w/ out him and not seeing my kitties everyday. Luckily his parents have been entertaining him constantly since I left, so he has not been bummed out or bored. Tomorrow is mother's day so happy day to all you Mommy's out there. adios for now, thanks for all the comments!

can't paint your nails while you blog

haha

okay enough of my depressing and angry blogs... this is a super happy one b/c i have been on cloud 9 since yesterday when I found out I am having a GIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

i am so so sosososoososoooooooooo happy and i feel so blesssed and soooooooooooo lucky and oh jeez i am scared shitless but i am amazed and in awe and my new favorite color is pink!

I can't believe I GET TO RAISE A GIRL! I feel so lucky!!!!!!!!! aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh

ok anyone else excited??

Y iz it?

Why is it my ex, whom I have not seen in approx. 5 yrs showed up at my doorstep when I am very chubbily pregnant and had no makeup on?

Okay, well Gold's biological "father" showed up Monday, asking to see pictures of Gold. This is the FIRST time in 6 years he has asked to see a picture. I was really nice to him when he came over. In fact, I began to feel quite sorry for him, as he told me about his sad marriage to his "devil wife" as he called her. I was nice, I even felt sorry for him. Tuesday, when he left a message on the answering machine asking if Jarrod wanted to go have a beer, part of me thought "what could it hurt?". Today... the rage kicked in. How dare he show up at my door? He lied to me, cheated on me, made me look like a fool, and then abandoned me and denied his own child. I guess I am just mad today. I just think, why bother with him? why feel sorry? Why have I been waiting for 6 years for him to ask for a picture? I even offered to let him keep some pictures, which he declined because "suzen won't let him". I now think that is a lie, too, and he probably convinced her that Gold is not his kid. Whatever. I do not care. I am so thankful for my life now. Now that I see what I "could have had". I could have been with some jerk who is never happy with what he has and is always looking for something else. Screw that. I am so glad of who I am with and how my life is now. It has taken forever to get here, and if he thought he could walk in and change anything he was sadly mistaken. BAH

tired of being sad over it

so here is a prayer i cut out of the newspaper, its pretty groovacious

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
where there is injury , pardon
where there is doubt, faith
where there is despair, hope
where there is darkness, light
where there is sadness, joy

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console

To be understood as to understand

To be loved as to love

For it is in giving that we receive

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned

It is in dying that we are born to eternal life.......


DIG IT??????

bah bah blacksheep

I am straight up depressed today because my brother is in trouble. I can think of very little else, and all day I was thinking. I am in Yoga and my brother is in jail. I am doing calculus and my brother is in jail. I am eating at Joe's and my brother is in jail. It just sucks. Straight up.

Anyway for other news in my life, I am up to my ears in school and totally confused about my math. I have a book to read STILL and ugh.... I could gripe more but I know no one wants to hear it.

Well happy day to u all and talk to u soon. adios.

end of semester

Craziness is starting to set in now that the semester is coming to an end. I wonder, will this be my "LAST" semester? I hope and think not. But it is hard to say what life with baby will be like. I am pretty good at juggling a million things but with another human being on my hip? we shall see.

Sarah...... i am sorry i will miss you when u go to utah. I hope u and kendra get to hang out tho and have fun.
Stephy... I do wear a mask sometimes and am always in well ventilated areas. I always wear gloves, though. I do hope u will come to my shower. I don't know when it will be or anything but I would love to have u there! Give me your addy so I can send u an invite.

I have already noticed the way people treat you differently when you are CHUB_A_LUBish but inside i kind of am laughing cuz it is sort of fun and funny sometimes to be chubbier and know that people are looking at me sideways or maybe I am just paranoid. Either way its funny to me because I feel like I know who I am underneath. And for the first time in my life I am starting to think, it is NOT all about how you look. I mean, sure mostly that is what ppl care about, but you know, my husband treats me like a princess and my family and neighbors still talk to me so ya know...

Sad night last night....... Our AIDS kitty died. We knew it would happen someday, but it was still shocking and really sad to say good bye to her. Jarrod is a big time animal lover and was so broken hearted. He was so determined that that cat was going to live and didn't really have Aids....She did live 6 mo. longer than the vet estimated, so I guess that is good. At least she had a home and did not have to be put to sleep and was not miserable when she died. She also didn't spread the disease to more cats before she died. So those are good things... But it was still oh so sad..... I cant even explain how heartbreaking it was, but most of you probably know. The one major thing I dislike about getting older is death. I don't think there is a sadder pain than dealing with death... At least not now.

Okay well goodnight and thanks for reading
xoxo

who knows

I wonder who will still read my blog after two weeks of no bloggy blog. Well hello to anyone who is. I don't know what it is that got into me and made me not want to blog. It just seemed like too much trouble (gasp).

Today oh happy easter day we had a groovacious church service about crucifiction. I was on cloud nine because Jarrod went to church with me and that is such a very rare occurance. We then did another rare thing by going to lunch w/ my grandparents. It was yummy food at Olive Garden. Oh those breadsticks! Well anyone who is curious about the pregnancy thing, it is going fine. I have outgrown every piece of clothing I think, except my 2XL sweatshirt haha. I know I am too chubby but I am enjoying this eating time while I can. I crave cereal a lot, so I eat it when I want to. I know this is my only time in life with an EXCUSE to be chubby. During other times of my life it will be totally looked down upon. And guess what!!!!!! I felt the baby moving last Tuesday! It was so awesome to feel it. It moved for a few minutes straight. I love it! Tonight it moved again. Well, I know it moves all the time, but I could FEEL it again tonight. I tried to show Jarrod, but only I can feel it, you can't feel it with your hand yet. That was sad, cuz I want to share it with him, and I hate that he feels left out right now. But I know soon he will get to feel it. Oh and I am still cleaning houses. In fact I got a new customer. That is cool to be making more money so I don't have to worry so much. it was a big answer to prayer. An almost over night answer, it seemed. My back usually hurts when I am cleaning, but it goes away pretty much after I am done. The only other time I feel uncomfortable is sitting down for over an hour (such as in a theater or car). I am 18 weeks now! I get to find out on Apr 30 if it is a boy or girl. Jarrods mom, my mom and Jarrod will be going with me. Last pregnancy thing, I am still working out at least twice a week pretty good. So that means I will have good muscles under my chubbiness! :) love ya all!!!!!!!! night!