day 2 of 10

BUYING A HOUSE SUCKS

realtors and mortgage guy seem so much less friendly now that we have signed a few papers. now it is rush rush and all up to us and such an annoyance to them to answer any questions. i truly don't trust anyone anymore, church related or not. i do appreciate all the advice i have been getting in my comments. i can't believe how much money everything is costing. it is truly maddening. i know i have gotten on a few of my clients nerves lately too because i am still cleaning and getting a million phone calls a day. of course yesterday when i didn't have to clean and i was just sitting there for 3 hours waiting for the inspection to be done the mortgage guy was nowhere to be found or heard from. now today when the woman i am cleaning for is right there with me paying me a buttload of money per hour, he needs to gripe at me for not making a decision on the loan we want yet........ HELLO I WANTED TO TALK TO U ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh. someone please tell me that owning a home is worth it. i honestly want this to be the only home we ever purchase....
unless we win the lottery and can hire someone else to do our stressing for us.
and on another note, if anyone ever hears me pining for another baby after this please remind me that i despise being pregnant.
Thanks.

day 1 of 10

House was inspected today, the heat shield on the fireplace is cracked. Anyone know what that means? There are possible foundation problems so we have to get ANOTHER inspection. The one today took almost three hours! Plus I had to go to three banks today to get statements and transfer monies around. Mahna stayed w/ mom half the day and got to do lots of swimming. Tomorrow I have to work probably all day, so money is good but I hope I won't have to be on the phone too much while I work, since the woman I am cleaning for will be home. We signed preliminary papers at the real estate office today. Waiting on the seller's disclosure to find out age of roof so we can get solid insurance quote........ money is flying out of our hands! EEK

ok....

Scratch that other post. After going thru immense sadness and disappointment, the owners of our dream home call back and say "okay I guess we CAN go lower". PUNKS!!!!!!!!!!! So we have been going back and forth once again and as of today they accepted our offer! :) Yippee! SO now we just have to have the inspection done tomorrow and hope that it is not TOO bad. The great thing about this house is that it doesn't really need anything done right away (as far as we can tell) so we can just move in and be happy. LOL. Sounds like a fairytale! I guess I will know by tomorrow night if all is cool with it! HOly COW I CAN"T BELIEVE IT IS FINALLY HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was wrong.

It is my dream house. But it is not the house for us. One reason: Money. The woman who owns it just wants too much. I am beginning to wonder if we will ever find something in Lewisville/Flower Mound. I just like it here cuz I have lived here a long time and my family and Jarrod's family are here. Why does everyone think it is worth SO MUCH MONEY to live here? I don't get it.
So back to the search.... I hope I have cried myself out tonight so I do want to get out of bed tomorrow.

CASA!

We put in a bid tonight on a house in Lewisville. It is within walking distance of Parkway Elementary if you know where that is. Vally Pkwy and 3040. I am soooooooooooo excited. I really believe this is the house. I am probably letting myself get hopes up too much but I hear that you KNOW when you walk in and I think I KNEW.

colorado pics

update

HI! Just wanted to say howdy and tell u all we are having a grand time in Colorado. We are staying at the Purgatory ski resort and it is very pretty and peaceful. Mahna loves all the nature. She is taking Elliott on all the walks and he does very well staying with her on the leash. People are always stopping and saying something about how amazing it is that she can handle a dog at her size. Haha. I heard a song on one of Mahna's Disney videos:

"ain't nothin like the great outdoors to ease your soul, ain't nothin like the great outdoors to keep you from growin old......"

I am at an internet cafe right now but my time is about up and Mahna's patience should be almost over. Yesterday we saw Durango, today we saw Silverton and now are in Ouray. Purdy stuff. Easygoing mountain people.

Where did you take your default pic?in my living room
What exactly are you wearing right now?nobody caresWhat is your current problem?chubbiness/pregnancyIf you could go back in time and change something would you?I wouldn't have let Jeremy tattoo my ankle. i really want to cover it up now.
What's the name of the song that you're listening to?nuttinAny celeb you would marry?They are all rich....

Name someone with the same birthday as you?I dunno
Do you have a crush on someone?Mahna
Ever sang in front of a large audience?nope
What do you usually order from Starbucks?EXPRESSO
Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?--jeanean garafallo, (Nikki that is so wierd! we look nothing alike and two people said we looked like the same star! NUTS)
Do you still watch kiddie movies or kiddie TV shows?i have a two yr old, yes i watch sesame street, spongebob, mr. rogers........ need i go on
Do you speak any other languages?baby talk count?
What magazines do you read?shape, parenting, people
Have you ever ridden in a Hummer limo?--nope
Has anyone you've been really close with passed away?that is hard to answer
Do you ever watch MTV?who has time to watch TV?????
What's something that really annoys you?rude people: on the road, in the store, everywhere
Chapter 1:Middle name: Elizabeth
Nicknames: awww....... don't have one. anyone got one for me? be nice!
EYE color: blue
Chapter 2:Do you
live with your parents: nope
Do you get along with your parents: yup
Are your parents married/separated/divorced: still kickin it
Do you have any siblings: yes u all know the answer
Chapter 3: Favorites
Ice cream flavor: cherry vanilla
Season: hmm. like them all for different reasons
Shampoo/conditioner: pantene
Chapter 4: Do You
Sing in the shower: only when i have an audience in the shower HA
write on your hand: on my inner wrist all the time, bad memory
Call people back: thinking of the phone gives me anxiety but once i am on it its all good
Believe in love: yes
Sleep on a certain side of the bed: lefty
Have any bad habits: do i have to list theM?
Chapter 5: Have You Ever
Broken a bone: yes, left arm twice, once got skated over by a large person and the second time skiiing ran into a tree LOL
Gotten stitches: in my lip when i was like 1 yr old
Taken painkillers: has anyone not taken them? yes i have had too many
Gone SCUBA diving: no but hope to someday
Been stung by a bee: yes a year ago on my hand and i cried like a baby
Thrown up in a restaurant: ewwwwwwwww! no way (sorry if you have)
Sworn in front of your parents: yes, sorry momHad detention: um is this a highschool survey? haha. yes i have had detention, glad to be done w/ that kind of skewl
Chapter 6: Who/What was the last
Person you talked to on the phone?: The Huzband
Thing you touched: my keyboard
Thing you drank: water

can't a girl get a shroom burger?

Ok I went to Wendy's, Whattaburger and Sonic. NO mushroom swiss burger to be found. No mushrooms even offered!!!!!!! What is this world coming to when a pregnant girl's craving can't be quenched? I know, I know, I can go to CHILI's and get a super tasty one but who wants to go IN somewhere? I want drive thru anonymity. God knows anyone who sees me would say she does NOT need to be eating a burger. :)

Countdown to vacation time and I am bizy as heck this week. Lots of work to be done. Money to be made for spending next week in Colorado on very overpriced items. I am determined to get a massage on vacation this year!

We went to the waterpark today, and this time a couple of my friends came with their kids. It was mucho funno and I could have stayed for hours longer. Maybe someday we will stay til they close at 8 and really get our two dollars worth! Mahna has been sleeping over two hours now (she didn't get a nap earlier) so I wonder if she is just out for the night. It's only 7 pm so maybe I should go to bed too? Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Can't think of any more things to say. Maybe I should answer that survey after all.

mahna pics!!!!!!!

happy FRYday a lil late

Well no one probably even reads blogs on the weekend, but oh well. I am looking forward to the weekend because I want to do some sitting and laying and take a hot bath. Tomorrow is Jarrod and my 6th anniversary. I would really like to go get massages, but it's a little too expensive at the moment. If we can get babysitting assistance, we might go see a movie at the studio movie grill. That way we can eat and watch. FUN! We like NEVER go to the movies, so it really is a date kind of thing for us to do. Pre-prego days I would rather go have happy hour for a few hours just the two of us, cuz we have so much fun doing that, but maybe next year! :) The ironic thing is we are going to probably see "The Break Up". Nice anniversary movie, eh?? I am also looking forward to seeing Kenner Sue and her huz and having a "brunch" at some new restaurant with Jarrod's family on Sunday.
Mahna needs me to read her a book now! She is shaking my leg saying MOM. TOODLES

FRY DAY

Tis hot these days and I am oh so thankful my parents put a pool in last year. Mahna is a little waterbug now and will stay in for HOURS> With lots of sunscreen of course. Anna and my momma are good at showing her a good time and LETTING her swim and splash for hours and hours. I am less patient and less fun. It's funny how I could always entertain other people's kids. And for some things I can show Mahna a really great time. But when it comes to being silly and spontaneous, well.....

So no house yet. :( We are putting a small pause on looking at houses. Putting some more cash in the bank to make us look good for our loan. We are on vacation for a week in July, so we are thinking we might find something end of July or in August. Who knows!

Steph, thanks for saying I am "too cool for Flower Mound". Haha. Flower Mound and Lewisville are some super borING places, I tell ya. No doubt about that. Not many uniquely pierced/dyed interesting clothed people walking around, heck not a lot of people WALKING anywhere. I would much prefer Austin over here with all the stupid dry cleaners on every block. I even thought about Dallas, but our jobs are here, families, good schools. I have lived in the ghetto of Lewisville and am pretty over the cuteness of it now. Flower Mound with it's pretty green trees and yards that people don't deck out with what won't fit in their house anymore sounds like a better place to take a walk. Plus the schools seem a lot better, too. Who knows, we still might end up in Lewisville because of these RIDIDCULOUS prices, but it won't be the same neighborhood we've been in.

Happy Friday and thanks for reading! Toodles.

date w/ my kiddo

Mahna and I had a date day. It was so fun. We went for a walk, then went swimming, then went shopping for a book and video and toy for her. Then the best part was we went to eat at Quizno's, just the two of us. I had the pot roast sub with lots o' horseradish MMMM and she had cheetos and pickles dipped in honey mustard. She loves to "dip" stuff. Unfortunately didn't have a bib with me, but oh well. Honey mustard washes out. I don't know why it was so special eating out with her, just the two of us, but it gave me such a good feeling. Kind of a freedom of sorts. Anyway..... we found a house we are interested in that just went for sale in Flower Mound, so hopefully tomorrow will get to see it and hope it will be "the one".

no ocean :(

Well I didn't get to go to Galveston. I could have pushed harder for it, but Anna ended up having to work this weekend, so she couldn't go and I didn't want to be the only girl. I probably could have dealt with that but I also thought Jarrod would have fun with an all guy weekend. So him and his best friend and his two brothers packed up the van, hooked up the jet ski and left at 6 a.m. Saturday. Mahna and I have a cold so we were up and down thru the night and after she ate 3 mini bowls of cheerios this morning we made it over to my parent's house around 11:30. Kendra, Anna and I made lots of yummy food like Italian cream cake, guacamole, an amazing salad (that was alll kendra, but you should all try blsamic vinegar, feta cheese and red pepper in your salad) and manicotti. Dad made steaks and brauts and we had a grand feast. We also spent a lot of time in the pool. Mahna was scared of the pool a few weeks ago, but thanks to my mom's persistance she loves the water once again. I am not sure what made her afraid of it in the first place but it seems to be all but over for now. If it had only been up to me, I would have given in to my child's every tear and discomfort and she would be looking at the pool thru the living room window all summer. So thank God for my mom and for my grandma and well pretty much everyone in my family and Jarrod's who touches Mahna's growth in a positive way. It isn't the ocean, but then again there is a shower just seconds away and NO SAND so hey! It's a good weekend.

I have a cute daughter

Mahna has really been making me smile lately. The first incident was when I was still feeling depressed (thankfully has passed now) and I was crying. She came over and patted my face and tilted her head in such an angelic way, I thought how could I ever be sad with her in my life?
During the Mavericks playoff game the other night with the Spurs Jarrod was very into the game and pacing the living room during the last minute of overtime. Mahna was sitting on the couch and suddenly yelled "GET BALL!" She doesn't talk much and we surely didn't expect her to be paying attention to the basketball game! It was so cute and funny.
A couple days later the three of us were watching a movie on tv sitting together on the couch. She showed me her sippy cup and said "meer" which means MORE and I said no honey you still have some left. A few minutes later she got up and I thought she was going to play in her room for a minute or something, like she usually does. She came back a few minutes later holding the chocolate syrup, she had gotten it out of the fridge because she needed MORE chocolate milk!!!!!! Cracks me up!

excuses excuses

I have a good excuse for not posting. My keypad on my laptop has been jacked up. Like if you hit the m it would type mn and if you type v or b it would type vb. Most annoying was if you hit the space bar it would hit enter. So everything I typed
looked
like
this.
I guess the bug worked itself out. Our neighbor, who fixed my computer, said maybe it got wet. Well Jarrod and I are on eggshells with this stupid computer. We don't bring a drink within a foot of it. My nieces are over everyday after school this week and next so I am guessing when I wasn't here something got splashed on it. Who knows. Either way if we would have had to buy a new keypad it would only be about $25 (just a pain to install I am guessing) and now it worked itself out, so YIPPEE!
So I cleaned 4 houses this week all to pay a ticket that I really am innocent of. I had plenty of time to call a lawyer and fight the ticket. BUT I was too scared to call a lawyer and have them laugh at me and then tell me I would have to pay them $200 or something. I am mad at myself for not fighting it, but once it is paid I hope to forget about it in a month. I think I told the story on here a long time ago, so I will just say that a cop followed me and waited for me by my friend's house while I had my car looked at, then pulled me over like5 minutes after I left the house and said I ran a stop sign. I literally wanted to ask the cop if he was NUTS, I argued with him a little but he scared me because we were in a culdesac on a Sun morning with no one around and he basically got in my face and said "give me your license while I am still being civil to you". I believe I might have gone to highschool with the guy his last name was Graves. ANyway I may never forgive myself for paying the damn money to Highland Village and not trying harder to fight a freaky cop.
So I am not really enjoying pregnancy much. I have been feeling nauseous but not enough to 'get sick', so I just feel raunchy, usually at night. I could deal with that, though. What I can't deal with is a horrible feeling of depression that will not subside. Well that is not entirely true. It comes and goes. One week I am happy and normal feeling, working out every day and eating what I should. The next week I cry at everything, bite everyone's heads off and eat all the wrong things. I am about 7 weeks along.......... that means 33 weeks to go. Yikes. Well at least this week is almost over and there is a good chance the sun will come out on Monday. Maybe even today since we are driving to Austin (sans Jarrod) to watch Kendra and John get their Master's degrees!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO. I am very happy for you Kendra and the path you have chosen for your life. You have done a lot of good for other people while also getting your education the last few years. Now I just hope you stay in Austin...... we gotta have that thrift store field trip!
Well I really gotta run Mahna is not even awake yet and I should be over to pick up ANna and Gma and my parents van in 30 minutes! eek. time is not on my side.
toodles thanks for reading.

my babycakes

Some pics of my babycakes at Lewisville lake. I love the one of her sitting on the couch even though part of her head is cut off. I just like the look on her face and the light going across her. SOrry about the one pic being sideways, but I still haven't installed a photo program on my computer. I was just happy to find my camera cord!

tis all good homey

So far so good. No barfy, no soreness of any kind. I feel fine!!!!!!!! yea. I haven't had probs with morning sickness before though. I just kind of expect the worst this time because it seems like everyone's subsequent pregnancies were harsh. Considering my first two were 6 years apart the second felt like a first all over again. I have been exercising and doing my best to eat fruits and veggies. I know that if I gain a ton of weight it will shorten the amount of time I can make money. I know that sounds very materialistic, but money is money. Plus if I am sitting at home I will just eat more and therefor have more to lose later. Life hasn't really changed in the past week since I found out I was prego. By the online calculator I should be due Jan 4th. That could mean a late December or new years baby. OOPS! Well I wanted to post some new pics but I can't find my camera cord! Darn! Mahna is doing good. She is a cutie pie, lots of fun. I only had one cleaning job this week so we have had lots of time together. I think she's a little sick to her tummy tonight cuz she is sort of cuddly and whiney. Well this weekend I look forward to mother's day and Kendra being in town, next weekend in austin and galveston the weekend after that! Not looking forward to CAMPING on the beach in Galveston, but hey...... u gotta take the beach when you can get a chance!

P O S I T I V E

That would be the result of my pregnancy test!!!!!!!!! Yes I am about 3 wks or so along. I haven't gone to the DR but by my calculations it will be sometime in January when I have a new little angelface in my arms!!!!!!!!!!! Holy cow Jan is so far away! I am gonna get so fat and I hate that part so much. I plan to keep exercising and eat well but somehow I wanted that last time too and something took over me and I no longer was doing what I should. I am very excited and so is Jarrod. We are pretty set on just the two kiddos so this will be my final pregnancy experience, which is relieving with just a hint of sadness. No reason to miss it yet, I have barely even started it! EEK. Did I already mention that January is SO far away?

small postings

Hello thanks for checking my bloggerooo! I am hoping to get my computer fixed pretty soon. It seems like forever, and it probably has been, since it worked. My bro-in-law has been working on it but has set it down for some time now. I didn't want to be rude before and take it back but I think he is tired of trying and we have a little money at the moment, so I am gonna see about putting it in a shop or sumthin.
Mahna is sleeping all night! can you believe it? I thought the day would never come. I guess that she really was just in a "habit" of waking up to nurse and therefor the habit haas been broken. It was a sad transition to stop nursing but it is okay now. I am glad to have my body semi-to myself for a few months. I do not know if I am pregnant yet, but don't worry I will post when I know! Oh also, I CAN'T sleep anymore. I toss and turn and my mind seems to race a hundred miles an hour now when I lay down. I can' tbelieve I finally have a chance to sleep and I can NOT! I tried tea last night and it didn't work. Maybe I will try writing first tonight.
Anyway I am off to clean a house. Jarrod's birthday was great fun and he was very excited about his metal detector. We went to the lake yesterday to try it out. No great treasures but I do see how it is addicting! HAHA

updates

I feel so conceited posting on Blogger. It's like here is ME here is MY LIFE, here are MY FEELINGS... but then onthe other hand I guess I couldn't talk about other ppl without their permission. LOL

Mahna is doing much better. 2 nights ago she woke up 5 times during the night, therefor neither of us got sleep, last night she only woke up twice. She is no longer barfing. She has no more fever. She has developed a love for water (yippee!) and has been guzzling it (and was doing pedialite too) since she got sick so no worries of dehydration. I am feeling a sense of sadness by no longer nursing but also it is changing out bedtime routine and daddy gets to be more involved now. She has her own pillow now and takes her sippy cup w/ her to bed (in between us on our bed) and she fusses a little but then lies down and says "row row" wanting us to sing row row row your boat, then "baby" for rock abye baby, then "baby" again for hush little baby. I pray and hope that eventually she will be broken of the ritual of waking up in the night and sleep solidly.

This morning we got up early to go to the "Wellington" neighborhood sales. Only to get rained out. We did get to go to one and got mahna a few lil things. I am off to clean a house now and think about what to get Jarrod for his bday. He will be 28 HOLY COW on Monday! I think I am gonna get him a metal detector (that is what he asked for) to use on the beach in Galveston. He is planning a big trip with his friends on Memorial day wknd. And hopefully his brother Freddy can fly out from Virginia that weekend. My parents are giving Jarrod a frequent flyer ticket for his bday so his brother can come visit. I think that is really cool. TOODLES FOR NOW!
HAPPY FRIDAY

end of an era

Mahna is officially not breastfed anymore. T.M.I.? LOL. It has been about 36 hours or so and she seems to have forgotten that she ever was at all. Going to bed is a little different now. Instead of me being her comforting pacifier, I am just a warm body next to her while she screams and sits and lays and sings and gets quiet then remembers she is supposed to be fighting sleep. If you would have asked me a week ago if I could put her to bed without nursing her, I would have said no. Unfortunately Sunday night she got ill and started barfing. this was around 11. I rocked her to sleep and thought at 4 a.m. when she woke up that she was probably settled enough to nurse back to sleep. Nope, barfed it right up. So... I decided to stop nursing her, because I thought maybe it was my milk making her sick for some unknown reason. Monday she made it until 3 pm before barfing and then I realized that she must be sick and not just reacting to my milk or something she ate. Plus she was getting feverish and being all around limp and pitiful. Oh and I have been housesitting for my parents and "babysitting" franky and anna. They have been absolute angels by the way. So I have spent the last 2 days rocking Mahna a lot in my mom's comfy lazyboy rocker/recliner. Grandma has came by a few times to see me and let me take a shower, we watched Memoirs of a Geisha also (finally!). So back to the b.feeding thing. I just explained to Mahna that I could not give it to her because it made her sick and she looked at me with such a sad look, but I only had to explain it twice the first few hours and then she seemed to forget all about it. It is sad in a lot of ways..... She won't "need" me as much now and I don't get the satisfaction of comforting her in that way. But I am accepting, I know she needs to grow up and learn to fall asleep on her own without being overly dependent on her momma. A plus I believe will come from it is that last night she slept for 8 hours straight. I truly can not tell you if she has done that more than 3 times in the last 19 months! So this is a good thing, especially if I do get pregnant, I will be needing more sleep. And it will be good for her to be "over it" so she won't feel like she is sharing that part of me with the baby. My grandma said my uncle Ric forgot about his bottle 24 hours after she took it away from him. I believe it now, for sure. So anyway, housesitting has been fine, besides my poor husband being lonely here and there at home. He could have come over but it is better if he does NOT catch what Mahna has. No worky means no money. Anna has been a super help to me the whole time, since I have been confined to home for a couple days. She has got Mahna medicine, gone grocery shopping and just helped me so much. Franky has been a real sweet heart and we have had some funny conversations here and there. It is good to laugh with siblings. He is also a great cook, so here and there I was treated to flavorful snackies. Not to mention my parents have a really NICE house that is big, and has comfy carpet and plenty of SPACE.
Tomorrow it is back to semi real life, as I will go change my plea in H.V. to guilty about my ticket (that I am not guilty of but just don't care anymore) and clean for Dottie for about 2 hours. Then it is back home again to a lot of backed up laundry, and Mahna's own room/toys. TOODLES

Church

Today I went to Crossroads Bible church where I usually do go, and have gone since I was in 10th grade which was like oh my gosh like 11 years ago??????????? Today Brent spoke instead of the usual preacher. I must say my attention was kept the whole time. I should back up and add that I intended to try out Garden Ridge Church of Christ today. I didn't go there for two reasons, one I was sort of scared to try somewhere new, and two, it started
at 10:15 instead of 10:45 so I got to stay in bed a little longer. I have figured out I can get ready and get Mahna ready in 30 min, so I got up at 10 to leave at 10:30. Anyway Brent really kept me interested. He talked about the student ministries and what all the middle and highschoolers are doing. They are doing more than the whole church it seems! It really made me wish that I could go back to highschool knowing what I know now and actually learn something and do something! They are doing mission trips to Holland and Russia and building houses for poor people in Mexico. The highschoolers are teaching the middle schoolers bible studies. They are all seemingly involved in something or another. I just wish there was a group for my age which was doing the same. That was one reason I consider trying out other churches. I love the preacher (Tim) at Crossroads and I feel like I learn a lot from him. I do not really feel myself fitting in at the church, I feel lost in a very very large crowd. I see too much middle age and older people who seem in a rush to leave right after church. I kind of want to find a "family" of people I can learn from and work toward things with. Then again I don't want to leave... So I am wrestling with myself today. Brent mentioned that we should all think about where we fit in and what our "thing" is. (not his exact words) I feel really strongly drawn toward helping teenage girls. Even mid school girls...........Heck girls from age 2 and up.........? I just know what it was like to be caught up in this and that as a mid and high schooler and I feel like I might be able to help some girl resist an urge or find a niche where she otherwise feels scared to connect with youtu for fear of being "different" in too many ways?....... I am rambling but I am putting my thoughts out here. One other thing I liked that you did today Brent, was that you named off each highschool senior who is graduating (were there 32?) and said something u were thankful for about each one. That was cool because it was PERSONAL. I have occasionally been to a tiny church. In their announcements they would say someones name and something they did or to pray for them etc etc. Sometimes our church is so big it doesn't feel like a family it feels like an auditorium in college. I am not complaining because it is good that Tim's words can reach so many people in one day... but it is cool to hear a few people's names called out, it made it feel like a family. I still may someday check out a church that has mostly people my age, or just another form of church, just because. But I really don't want to give up the church I have known for so long without really praying more about it and seeing if there IS a place for me
Oh I should also mention for any who are wondering why I was considering trying out Church of Christ. I don't really know anything about it's beliefs. I have seen signs saying "Celebrate Recovery". This interests me because I have a lot of addiction in my family and I also have a friend, a client...... a distant relative.........MYSELF and addiction issues are always there so why not tie them in with church? Also the commercial on TV lately about (is it United Church of Christ?) where the gay couple get bounced out of church then the crying baby.........the too old person.......thehomeless guy. Then the end of the commercial says something about lets make church for everyone! I love it! I want a hippy church where everyone feels comfortable and can witness to the truly lost and searching ones. Like druggies......man who is searching for God more than a druggie? Hello. Chasing a false happiness wishing for that inner peace, comfort, release of guilt. Honestly what would be really cool would be to find this group of gays, druggies, hippies and bring them in to Crossroads. Mix it up a bit, it would excite the suburbanites who may be bored with their existance and in turn the suburbanites can use all the wisdom they have gained from years under Tim's teaching to show the gaydruggiehippies what life is REALLY all about (relationship with God). Ok if you are still reading thank u so much and I am going to shut up now. PLEASE comment be it mean or nice. XOXO

happppppppppppy bdayt

to ANNA she is 17 today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I remember 17 years ago my mom being pregnant with her. I was almost 10. Everyone was sure that bump in my belly was a little brother for Franky. I constantly told them all it was a girl and I would rub my mom's belly saying HI LITTLE SISTER! I already had 2 siblings so I wasn't really excited about another person taking all my parents attention away from me, but nonetheless I knew it was a girl. I remember hiding on the stairs when my grandma answered the phone call from the hospital. "It's a girl???!!!" I jumped out saying "I knew it I knew it!". I think 10 years is a cool age difference for me and Anna. Maybe I am just lucky that she is such an easy going person and so much fun to be around. She helped me a lot with my work while I was pregnant with Mahna. She has been very accepting and tolerant of Jarrod irritating the crap out of her with his "JoKeS". We share a love of makeup, which we will pursue today spending her birthday day together and getting pedicures. Tomorrow she will go to Austin w/ Franky (my parents and gma already left) and I will go to the church picnic on Saturday and Sunday go see Jarrod's grandma who just had one of her breasts removed because of cancer. I am sad it didn't work out to go to Austin this weekend, but I am glad it is working out that I get to be with Anna on her birthday-day. HAPPY 17TH on the 14th!

I can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life without a computer is too hard! I just can't take it anymore!!!!!!!!!! Casey (jarrods' bro) is still working on a few ideas of what might work to fix the darn thing. I might just have to snag it back and call DELL. They ask for a cred card # but supposedly they can help u fix the problemo. Today I went to the gym and had a very heartpumping workout. Mahna was greeted before we even got INTO the gym by the older babysitter "Ginger" who just can't wait to see her when we make it in. They were blowing bubbles in there today and it was just Mahnas luck cuz yesterday we got her bubbles but they wouldn't work with her bubble blowing doggie toy. It is made by Little Tykes and I guess it only works with Little Tykes bubbles...... grr. Anywayz then we went to the mall and got Jarrod a new wallet. He wanted one that was flat with no clip. Mahna played at the playplace for a little while but wanted me to do everything with her. Sometimes she is social and sometimes not. Plus she was sleepy. Tomorrow I have a house to clean then hopefully going to the park w/ L.L. and her cuties. OK Well Casey is back now so he probably wants me to get off his computer. Hope you enjoyed this retarted post!

funny thing about not having a computer

I am keeping up with blogging even tho they are short posts! haha. I am using Casey's computer but only about once a day. Jarrod didn't like it when I would be on the computer 5 or 6 times a day checking email and chatting with people. Maybe once I get my laptop fixed (please please please let it be fixable....they say there is a prob w/ the motherboard yikes) I can just use it a couple times a day now that i know i really CAN survive without a computer, although it isn't easy! :) Well I didn't sleep good again last night> I don't know what my problem is. Lately every time I have a house to clean I get all anxious the night before and think too much and can't sleep. Ugh, I get on my own nerves (as Mimi used to say). Well i wish i could write more but mahna just woke up.......... I do want to shout out to my momma who I had an awesome night out with last night! :) X's and O's

more to come: I think we figured out a way to pay off Jarrod's car (without borrowing money from anyone!) and get a loan on our own!!! YIPPEEEEEEEEE

Sad news: Jarrod's grandma has been diagnosed with breast cancer and will be having a mascectomy next week. She has great faith and hope and a wonderful attitude, but it is sad and scary nonetheless. Jarrod is very close to his grandma, talks to her every day. She is a really sweet tiny little woman who raised five kids and has about 20 some grandkids and about 8 great grandkids at the age of 73. I really pray she comes thru this like a shooting star.

Okay...off to clean a house and drink lots o coffeeeeeeee

gone wrong

We looked at a house last night and thought it was THE ONE> we were all ready to start the papers today... my parents agreed to cosign if we end up needing them to. This morning we find out there is already a contract pending...... suck suck. I woke up at 3:45 this morning after about 4 hrs of sleep and couldn't stop thinking of all the things we could do with that house.... oh well. Anyway Mahna is sleeping now and I need to vacuum.......I don't have much work this week either so that sucks. We did get to go to playgroup for the first time today and it was fun. mahna kept pulling hair tho so i feel bad about that. Maybe a lil bro/sis will help her learn such things. Thanks for all the advice!

heres my prob YO

My personal problem with more kids is my other earthly desire to make money and be successful. I love my business, and not just for the money. I like being out and about and all that jazz. I am AFRAID if I have another kiddo I will be housebound and when I go visit people with my two (or more) children I will be a huge annoyance unlike only having one child. Maybe I worry too much. I also fight the alter personality of loving being at home w/ Mahna and being w/ her constantly and just not WORRYING about making any money or making other ppl happy. Ugh.......... who knows.

howdy

I must apologize for my lack of posty post. My computer is on the fritz. At this moment I am using my mommy's new awesome cute little white averatec laptop while mine is running diagnostic tests etc.

Tonight is the last night my cuzin and his family will be here and we have been having such a great time, I really wish they lived close by. Their little boy is exactly one yr older than mahna and they have hit it off soooooooo awesome and so instantly. I have wanted them to be together all day everyday b/c i have never seen her play with another child like she has with him. It is so heartwarming. Maybe this is why people enjoy having multiple children......... until they become teenagers. :)

Thanks for reading and commenting etc etc xoxox

cheating on blogger

I admit it, honest person that I try to be... I am cheating on Blogger. I have been exploring and blogging on MYSPACE. Now I know who my readers are on MYSPACE, about 3 people, MAYBE. It is a small amount. I have really kept the blog entries to my selfish rants about beauty treatments and what I want to do with my hair....... very boring stuff, and as much as I try to convince myself that it is half way interesting I know it really isn't. That would explain why only my dear friend Nikki would comment on there. She doestn' read this Blog, though, as far as I know. It is hard to tell who does and doesn't unless one day you are talking to someone and they say, hey I read blahblahblah on your blog. Or occassionally I find out someone I barely know from church reads my blog, and I am like, woa did I write anything bad on there? But I really don't want to categorize church people because we are all just plain ol' people, with our paths crossing in different places. I did not go to church today. Last week I went to Irving Bible Church w/ my parents and Anna. This week my couzin is in town with his family and we were just having such a grand old day being indoors, playing games, pigging out and watching the kids play that we just kept on doing it instead of getting in the car and going to church. I can honestly and shamefully take 90% of the blame for us not going. I didn't feel like changing the pace and I came out and said it. then again, maybe I am giving myself too much credit....... haha. Tomorrow I am cleaning a house I have never cleaned before, my long lost friend Bryn's cousins house. Bryn now lives in Idaho and I truly miss her. She was a super fun friend and had a good listening ear. Anyway I better get to bed since its late and I have to get up early. adios!

two random questions

Can anyone tell me where to get FLY PAPER??????????? I have these stupid fruit flies in my kitchen i can't get rid of. AND YES I got rid of the fruit!

ANNNNNNNNNNND How do you have a picture next to your name when you post a comment to someone???? I like Lindsays and Joyes!

howdy

Today was a fun day of NOT WORKING! :) I enjoyed spending the morning being slow and lazy with Mahna... We both hung out in our PJs til 10, and played on the kitchen floor instead of rushing to get out the door. I got a lot of errand running accomplished today and also managed to see my sister in law, my mom, anna and my grandma! I picked up mahnas 18 mo. pics and the more I go to JCPenney for portraits the more I want to take Mahna to a creative individual photographer. She hates JCPENNEY photographers, which of course is a normal thing for a kid to not want to get their pic taken, but I just don't really like that place. I got the 5 year plan there when Mahna was first born and I regret it now, although I have definately got my money back out of it. The people I am cleaning for tomorrow have a photo studio in their home and have offered to do pics of Mahna, but I don't know them well yet, so maybe in the future that will work out.

Tonight Mahna and I played outside for over an hour. Then we came in and were just being silly silly silly. It was really fun, and exhausted both of us. We watched about 10 min of a Baby Einstein video after our bath and while I was getting her all ready for beddy-bie, and for the first time SHE wanted to turn the video off and go to bed. She was in bed by like 8:15. That really is a tired girl! haha.

We got some super groovy news tonight! Jarrod's longtime friend George is giving us FLOOR TICKETS to the Mavs game next Thursday!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it! I am so nervous but so excited. I have never been to the Mavs game and jarrod has been twice. He is a DIE HARD FAN for any of you who don't know him. Out of all sports, basketball is the only one I semi like to watch. Some days are more exciting than others. I liked the old team with Nash....... We have a good chance of being seen on TV (YIKES!) so I gotta get us some Mavs shirts to wear. Fun fun!!!!!!!

Night night, thanks for reading!

T.G.M.I.O.

Thank God Monday Is Over

nah........ it wasn't a bad day. I just had no energy, motivation or excitement. I have been extremely domestic lately, so any time away from home kind of sucks. I did help my gma organize a closet today. That made me feel good. It made her happy, too. Tomorrow I am cleaning a house in Las Colinas, then.........hopefully Mahna and I are going to "playgroup"! I have been looking so forward to it. So even if it doesn't work out tomorrow, I am excited for when it does. The other day I spent like $30 on cleaning supplies. Cleaning supplies not for my bizness but for my own house!!!!! I am now a big fan of the Clorox disinfecting wipes. Jarrod and I also reorganized the kitchen so it is not so cluttered looking. We don't have a pantry. We have two small cabinets to fit all the food, flour/sugar/etc, bread crackers cereal......cups....... you get the idea. We have to be creative. Hopefully by the summer we will have our own house though, with a finished, normal kitchen. Our original plan was to move out by April. Now we are facing some financial issues that aren't exactly our fault. We bought two Kias in Jarrod's name a few months ago. Reason being is that Casey needed a vehicle, as he is a courier like Jarrod, but couldn't get a loan. So Jarrod bought two, but Casey pays the payment on his. What we didn't think about a few months ago is how this much debt (we also have a truck payment) would affect us getting a home loan. So...... we will see what happens. Casey can't pay off his car or still can't get a loan so we could "sell it to him". Part of our plan is to fix the transmission on the truck, try to sell it for at least CLOSE to what we owe on it, and that will help. Jarrod just needs to take it to get fixed, but I guess he is dreading the bill....or maybe just hauling it 1 1/2 hr away. Back to my story about being domestic, I am now baking a chocolate cake. Jarrod has been in a mood for choc cake and vanilla ice cream. I can't eat it, cuz I am still doing ATKINS. I think I have lost about 4 lbs. All in my boobs mind you, but it's weight! (are you blushing?) Jarrod is watching some crazy show about a bunch of body shop guys turning crapper cars into dream cars. Why must he watch it on volume 20?

Standing Blog Entry

I am standing up while I post, just hoping to get a couple of thoughts out before Mahna finishes her dinner. It is so cool she can feed herself now! It is quite messy, though. I don't mind messes, I am, afterall, A CLEANING LADY! Okay, I gave her an oreo to buy me another minute!

Today the first house I cleaned I got to talk to my bestest friend in the whole world for an hour of it. That was cool!!!!! I really do not talk to her enough and she is my lifetime friend. I have known her since I think I was 11 or 12 and once someone told me you really truly only get ONE best friend in life, and I am so glad to have her as mine. She talked me through a bunch of stuff this morning. I don't "vent" nearly as much as I really should and I really unloaded this morning. She is a paralegal, so thank the Lord she was not too busy to talk to me.

times up..darn

uh oh i am on a blogging roll

Today at the first house I cleaned, I used a mildew cleaner and bleached some pants that I really like. I guess I shouldn't wear pants I 'really like' to clean houses, but it's been so long since I got bleach on myself, I took it for granted.

Oops, I thought I would get to post, but I got a ph call from my long lost friend Cynde Cynthia.....

no heart for cleaning

My heart was not in my work today. I did a nice job, but I could have stayed all day on an hourly rate cleaning every niche. I left 2 hr early, with permission. I wanted to see Mahna. I didn't want to clean. I felt a blanket of "down-ness" on my neck and shoulders and I just didn't want to clean anything else. HOpefully I will get over this tonight because I have two houses tomorrow and two houses on Thursday and one on friday...... I wish I could clean everyone's house for them in a way. But then I just wish I could do it in the middle of the night when Mahna was sleeping. Then I would probably get depressed about missing watching her sleep. Haha. She had a great time at my Gmas house today and even pottied in the potty! This is not the first time but it is a far between since the last. My gma is so awesome with trying to get her to sit on the pot. I am so lazy or A.D.D. or something. I need to start focusing on it especially since I am so lucky to have someone trying FOR me 3 days a week!

My nieces were here today when I got home and I was in a pissish mood and didn't really want to play with them but I made myself semi snap out of it so I wouldn't be a beast to a 7 and10 yr old who don't understand auntie's mood swings. Mahna had fun with them having a picnic of cheetoes and oreos on the front "lawn" (tis mostly dirrrrt). We went on a tiny walk with the wagon and as always Tina got annoyed with Mahna (that is the 7 yr old). Kat was wearing her "high heels" again which suprised me b/c she wore them all day at skewl yesterday and then for 3 hr of shopping with us yesterday! She was complaining all night so I figured she would put them to rest for a day or so til her blisters went away.

mahna wants me......adios

New Post on Sunday

I always try to respond when someone complains that I am lacking in the blog posting area. haha. I was having a writer's block, so my mom suggested I type some stuff about Mahna-kins and my house cleaning adventures.

Here goes.

Mahna is so fun. It is wierd to me how being a parent you can understand your child's language. I can tell almost always what she is telling me or what she wants. I have also realized that she is spoiled and whiney sometimes because I have allowed her to become that way. She is also 18 mo. old so that has something to do with it! Today I took her outside and we blew some bubbles. The bubbles we have must be cheapos cuz they don't work very well. I want to buy her one of those toys that blows bubbles. I was going to look at "once upon a child" for one yesterday, but we were having too much fun with Jarrod. He was working on my parent's Jeep and Mahna and I were just playing in the front yard of my parents' house for a few hours. We collected leaves, went for a walk and played with Duplo's. She also realized she can climb in the decorative antique wheelbarrel that my mom has in one of her gardens. Everything Mahna does I think is cute. I do have to realize that not everyone else always thinks everything she does is cute. In my eyes she is wonderous, but I am sure in some other's eyes she is just a kid.

Friday I cleaned a house I had never cleaned before. It was just a one time cleaning, which I really enjoy these days. The house hadn't really been cleaned b/c bothe owners work full time, so I really took great pleasure in cleaning every nook and cranny of the place. One of the owners was so complimentary to my cleaning skills the whole time, it just almost makes it worth it without getting paid to make someone so happy. But I did get paid, and got a $15 tip! That does NOT happen. But it was cool and I am glad I got to do it. Last week I also cleaned a 3900 square foot house in less than four hours! We are talking 4 bathrooms people!!! ENORMOUS!

I would like to shout out to my buddy Jana who is going thru a very hard time right now and I really wish you all the best getting thru these hard days and weeks ahead.

Also, those of you who know what is up with my sister, I am not ignoring it or unaffected by it, I just don't feel comfortable typing it all up here on my blog, for the sake of her privacy and my family's.

Love you all, readers!
Caro

oh happy day

I am so happy. I got to spend 9 hours with my fambly today. Jarrod and my dad accomplished the fuel pump in the Jeep, finally. Jarrod did the super hard stuff on Friday night, taking off a gas tank full of gas. I thought he was either going to blow up the garage or kick the crap out of the gas tank out of frustration. I am so glad it is over, and well of course so is he! We got to get Chinese food for dinner~! MMMMMMMMMM. Of course it doesn't go well with the Atkins diet, which I have been attempting for the last couple weeks. Jana and I were supposed to be doing this diet together but I don't know if she is or not? We haven't got to talk much lately. I was super bizy cleaning houses all week long. I am glad Jarrod has a 3 day weekend so I had a good excuse for not cleaning this coming Monday. We found a house online, through our "realtor" that we are very interested in, so hopefully can get moving on a loan and go check out the house tomorrow or monday. I can't believe in the next year we will probably be homeowners. At first I was frustrated because Jarrod is such a PICKY SNOB and just said NO no No no to every house we looked at online. Me, I would take anything because they all have "potential". He likes to look at location, etc etc etc. Oh and back to my wonderful day, we got to go to Sam's club, which is always fun. If I put everything in the cart I wanted there I would be stocked up on laundry soap and cleaning supplies for a year, but I contained my excitement. I do owe ma a small chunk of change for what I put in the cart, containing myself. For the first time in my life I own a bottle of Febreeze. The more houses I clean the more I wish that I could just spray it through the house afterward for a finishing touch. It is also probably good for those moments that the fam stops by with a moments notice and my house smells like the litter box. Mahna ate chinese chicken tonight for dinner and lo mein noodles. Ma has been encouraging me to feed her more "people food" instead of toddler meals. I am glad i have my mom and gma to help me move on to those next levels of parenting. I might try to make Mahna stay a baby forever... We also watched "March of the Penguins" at my parents house. If you haven't seen it, you must. What a one of a kind documentary. Really well photographed and told. Sad at times, and the mommy baby bond kind of brought out the baby fever in me. I would probably have to quit cleaning houses if I had another one, though, and that (sad to say) does hold me back. Lately I have been thinking a little more about going to school than making money. I guess cuz I have been doing SO MANY HOUSES it is not as fun. I go through spells though. Oh I did start a new house for a retired couple. The man has a photo studio in his house and has taken some SUPER cute pics of his granddaughter and other people....... So I might trade some cleaning for some pictures. Okay well that is enough for now, kind of a post all over the place but I cleared out my mind and that is the whole point right? :) Happy day to you!

so much to say and so little time

I have been insanely busy lately. More work than I can almost handle. I kind of wish I could take on a partner, but I am my business and I don't want to turn it "un personalized". I have been working about 4 days a week, and sometimes doing two houses in one day. I like the money, and Mahna loves the time with her gramma Dar and her G.G.

Today I am working on my taxes. UGH! It is complicated because Jarrod is an independent contractor and we have to deduct miles, etc. We were hoping to get back a good chunk this year to hurry up and pay off the rest of our debt. Unfortunately it is not working out.

We have been actively looking for a house to buy. We found one on "Cypress" in Lewisville. This is close to 3040 in between the mall and Flower Mound. If anyone knows where USA Fitness gym is it is close to that. This house is cool cuz it is 2000 square feet and that is much bigger than any of the other houses in our price range. Unfortunately it also needs a lot of work, like a roof and new carpet and new windows. We will see what happens. I know God has a plan for us.

Mahna is a little busy body. She starts going and going the second she wakes up in the morning. Right now she is running back and forth across the house getting into anything she can along the way. She is a neat freak, already, though. She likes to clean up her messes and loves to help me throw things in the trash can. Everything has to be "just so" or she gets upset. It is amusing at times!

Well I have tons of laundry to catch up on and a big mess of a house! Thanks for reading!

Good Point

Yea, Kendra, Good point. It is wise advice, "one day at a time". They use that in AA/NA and I think it can apply to pretty much anything you wish to accomplish. Today I will not take drugs. Today I will exercise. Today I will be an excellent mommy to my daughter. Today I will talk to my friends. Today I will call my grandma. Today I will take the time to email someone who it will mean something to. Today I will make an honest attempt at accomplishing my 'to do' list. Today I will clean my kitchen before I go to bed. Today I will clean someone else's house to the best of my ability. Today I will keep a positive attitude and be thankful for all the great things and great people in my life. Today I will pray and I will be hopeful for the future.

forcing it

Ok I am forcing myself to post because I have a couple minutes, Mahna free. Unfortunately it is 11 pm and I am TIRED and want to go sleepy Poo. I made coffee cake for my friend Cindy and I to enjoy over coffee at 9 a.m. tomorrow. I hope it tastes closely to as good as my mommy's used to. I finally jumpstarted my "get on the right track" in January thing. I have actually exercised hardcore 3 times in the last week. I have been praying more and I found my bible. Hey it is a start. It is better than what I was doing last week. I have been spending lots of good quality time with Mahna lately, too. Or maybe just appreciating it more lately. She is so much fun. So playful. I see why people can't wait for their kiddo to grow out of baby stage. I just didn't realize what I was missing several months ago. I do try to make the most out of these days we have together where I am not cleaning for anyone. I try not to ever clean on Mondays, so we always have Sat. Sun and Monday straight. I am not cleaning tomorrow either, but Weds thurs and Friday this week I am booked solid! I have had 4 new people approach me in the last 2 weeks! It feels good to be in demand. It is not a bad thing to be making extra money shortly before we invest in our first home. I want to pay off as much junk as possible and live off cash or maybe even save a little to the side besides our "house fund". Jarrod and I are so excited about getting a house. It is our shared excitement that makes it even better. I just have to say that in so many ways he and I are polar opposites. Music, personalities, beliefs (some) and socially. BUT when we do have something in common it just makes it so much better! Back to my Smirnoff Ice and nighty night Ya'll!

writers blok

I don't know what my reason or excuse is so I am going to say I have writer's block. I sit here and stare at the computer with nothing to say. During the day while I am cleaning other people's houses, I think of all sorts of clever things to blog about. By the time I get home, POOF they are gone. Maybe I should carry a tape recorder. Oh yea, Cory is borrowing it. He saw "White Noise" and is now attempting to record ghosts in his kitchen. Yes, he is yet again jobless and enjoying way too much free time being a nut.

Well I am just a screwup lately. I haven't made my resolutions yet. I am purposely procrastinating. I am being lazy and flowing with whatever feels fun right now and I don't want that big "life changing moment" to happen yet. I haven't worked out in almost two months. I quit Weight Watchers a while ago. I make it to church maybe every 6 weeks, and when I do go, I am convinced that this week will be different and I will make myself go every week. I just have the BLAHS and am not really making much of any effort to get out of them. I guess I will just ride the wave and see where it takes me.

I visited a Pawn Shop for only the 3rd time in my life yesterday. I bought a video game. Therefor I did two things I never do in one day. I am really excited tho. I got Wheel Of Fortune and it is really fun. Too bad Jarrod is better at EVERYTHING than I am so he keeps beating my pants off. I am just happy to have a video game that I like so I can be a little part of Playstation social circle. HA.

My little poopkins is just cuter than ever. She is quite the communicator. She points to where she wants you to sit and wants to constantly be read to. She also does a lot of mimicking of me, my mom and gma. It is so cute to see her growing up and being more of a person. Now if she would just GROW. I try not to worry about it, since the doctors tell me she is just a small person. But sometimes when I am buying her clothes I worry about her wearing 9 month clothing at the age of 16 months..... I guess I am also a little insecure because a few of my friends have younger babies who are much bigger.

For the weekend we had a short visit to San Antonio, but it was a fun two hours. Then we spent a day and 1/2 with Kendra and family. That was fun, too. It made me want to stay and stay and stay and live there all of us together again only now we are older and married and thankfully our huzbands get along and we all have a good time together, even with our sometimes extreme differences in lifestyle and personalities. I am thankful for all my siblings, and I hope Mahna will have some siblings someday. Another thing I am waiting for to "kick in" is the baby bug. 16 months old and I am still not really itchin for another.

AS ALWAYS thanks for reading and I will try to keep up better, but hey....... you know me.

howdy loyal readers!!!!!!!!

pictures again!!!!!!!!!!!!

pictures ! bout time eh?

tis cold YO

Short post: My injury was to my elbow (retarted eh) and it is okay now, although an old shoulder injury sort of came back with the wreck so I wish I had some anti inflammatory or pain medicine. Oh well........ someday. Mahna was not in the car when I wrecked. THANK YOU LORD! She would have got her little head jerked back and forth when we spun around. She did however get strep on Tuesday and has been up a lot with fever etc and has two ear infections. Poor baby. She did a lot better today and hopefully tonight I will get lots more sleep. It is soooooooooooo cold man! And gas heaters really freak me out! Friday is Tina's 7th bday party at Crystal's Pizza. It is also the day I was supposed to be organizing a potluck for MOPS but Tina is more important to me. MEMOIRS of A GEISHA comes out so hopefully saturday or sunday or monday me and grandma can go see it. We both read the book in the same month, so have been looking forward to the movie. It has been a bizy week even tho I only cleaned one house this week. Next week I have FOUR so I will be buzy but temporarily rich. Haha. I hope to finish Christmas shopping next week. The only person I have no clue what to get for is my brother. Maybe a gift card? OFF SUBJECT: Did anyone watch the finale of BIGGEST LOSER last Tuesday? I really wish I knew someone who had recorded it so I could watch it.

stupid black cloud

YEA i have a black cloud when it comes to my car. i wish sooooooooooooooooo hard for public transportation. Tonight I got SMASHED into by another car while driving my grandma to her car, about a 5 minute total trip! My whole driver side is ruined! I can't even open my door. I got a minor injury but HELLO no health insurance so no doctor. Sure this would be all fine and dandy if I had had my HEADLIGHTS ON. Then maybe I could have got my car fixed with HIS insurance money and gone to the DR on his dime. BUT NO I am an idiot and didn't have my headlights on so we had to call it good even though he slammed thru a stop sign and smashed my car and did NOTHING TO HIS (oh maybe a scratch on his big ass bumper). SUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tired of Coughing

Ugh, sick for a few days now and why does it seem like it is getting worse and not better? I hate coughing!!!!!!! Can anyone get me some decent cough medicine????? :) Poor Mahna has the bad cough too. I really don't think humidifiers help worth a crap. Some people seem to be firm believers in them, but I just haven't seen any help out of it. And because of her young age and small size she can't really take any USEFUL medicines.

I am working on my Christmas shopping. Jarrod is forbidding me of spending much money, but I really want to buy everyone EVERYTHING. I don't know if this is a "gift" or if it is a mental problem? haha.

Mommy got me the Willow Tree Nativity scene and it is on top of our TV and it looks purdy. I really love Christmas time and all the music and just general good feeling. Of course I say this now, but then every year at this time I find myself drinking or feeling depressed out of my mind and both times I have gotten pregnant were at this time of the year. Not trying to say that getting pregnant has been a BAD thing just sometimes things happen out of depression leading to recklessnes... WHEW too much honesty, better sign off.

over it

Ok I am over it. No more pity party for me. I am over it.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! :) Hope everyone is enjoying the fellowship of family togetherness. Family get togethers are my all time favorite thing. I never would have thought when I was 13 that I would say that now. BUT seriously I love my siblings they are so much fun and my grandma is one of my best friends and my parents are awesome and my mom is like a best friend. I like all of us being in one place. I used to like it when all my aunts uncles grandparents etc cousins etc would go to lake of the ozarks in the summertime, too. It just feels good to have so many blood relatives together. Now there are a few relatives I don't look so forward to seeing, but the general feeling is still the same. Things just changed some in our family after Mimi died in the car accident.

I also got a sweet phone call from Nikki today and from my cuzin Cynthia, which was cool!

Anywaysssssssssssssss. Foods good and family wine and football are good. TOODLES FOR NOW

depression

For those of you who didn't see my last post from a day or two ago, I put some pics of Mahna in her halloween costume and a pic of her and Gold from October. Some people may look right past that pic and not realize it is Mahna sitting there with her hand on her 1/2 brother's knee. It is one of my favorite pictures ever, just one of those moments that magically got captured.

This leads me into my depression subject. I spent the morning crying and having a pity party for caroline because Gold is not coming for Thanksgiving. I find out two days before hand. This just sucks and I am just sad.

BUT I have to pull myself out of this sadness. If I live with a dark cloud in my mind, I will go mad. There is nothing worse than trying to make it through a day, singing here and there to brighten the mood, but slowly in creeps this fog. A few moments later I am listening to Metallica and wishing I could close my eyes while I drive. Hopefully this is just a one day thing. I LOGICALLY know and understand that I have soooooooo much to be thankful for. I have NOTHING to be sad about. Life could be so much worse, so many things are such huge blessings in my life. I am so lucky for my whole life my family my daughter my parents my husband............. Things have turned out so awesome for me and it is horrible to feel sorry for myself EVER! I have a 1/2 belief in chemical misfires in the brain I guess, I think more than anything I want to not think of that possibility becakuse denial is much easier than acceptance or facing possible truth.........................................................................................

pics

here u go

They come in more than THREES

Bad things, well I am now living proof they come in more than 3's. It is funny because a few weeks ago Jarrod got a ticket. I told him he better watch out because there were two more bad things on the way. A few days later I got a ticket. A day or so after that I screwed up my bank account and got overdrafts. A few days ago I screwed up my account again. Today I got another ticket. (n0t to mention all the bad luck things that have happened in between) So basically I am having a black cloud over my head month. It is becoming very hard not to feel sorry for myself. The thing is that I feel sorry for myself because I am acting like such an idiot! I am not even on drugs!!!!!!!!! I just keep making mistake after mistake. And then I am telling my family/friends these things and thinking "why am I telling them? why do I want them (and now all of you) to know what an idiot I am being?" I do not argue with police officers but the one who pulled me over today was a sly one. He tried to say that I was going 8 miles faster than I was. Then when I asked to see his radar he lowered it four miles and tried to play nice. When I called him on it again he got defensive about how if I took it to court it would be my "civilian word against his 10 yrs of experience and 80 hours of training". I was speeding and did deserve a ticket. But not for 18 over.......only for TEN over. I thought it was 45 and I was going 50. It was actually 40 and he 'said' I was going 18 over. I am not that young u beefcake head. Oh well. Anyone remember the song by Garbage......."STUPID GIRL"? It's been my theme song off and on for years.

My sister, the nanny

I am guiltily blogging right now because Anna is watching Mahna in the next room. She must feel like I "dump" Mahna on her every time we are together. I was rather envious this weekend when at my friend Jana's house in San Antonio. Her 9 month old is content to play on the floor by herself. She crawls around and smiles constantly. I feel guilty for being jealous but I can never just leave Mahna playing on the floor and walk off to do what I need to get done. Then again........ Brook is Jana's second baby so maybe that is the difference. I have trained Mahna, unintentionally, to need me or someone constantly with her. It is good in some ways. I like to think positively that this forces me to not take for granted her short little childhood and to savor the memories.

We had an awesome weekend.......... I thought we wouldn't ever get there, so much drama happend before we left. I realized at 9:30 pm the night before that I had only 16 dollars in my bank account. I had overdrawn it while Nikki was in town and had NO idea. SO I call Kendra to say don't bother coming to watch Frank if u don't want to so they turned around and went back. Meanwhile Jana and Chris call us a million times talking us into coming anyway and they would pay for gas. It was a back and forth ordeal alllllll night.

I would embellish more but Mahna is on my lap now and I can't type....................

oky doky

i promise to post pictures soon. i have so many! i will narrow it down to the recent past.

don't know how my family would feel about me posting my thoughts on franky drama.

I will let u in on a little of my own drama............ soon

thanks u all

Thanks Brent and Lara for reading a commenting! That was a nice suprise.
Too bad no one needs this computer desk!!!

Well Austin was fun this weekend except for the drama, but we won't talk about that part.

Mahna's room looks SO awesome now. I am so happy that Jarrod and Casey put the carpet in. I know it was a lot of work. It looks so much better and smells so great! Jarrod also got one of the clear baby gates so my cats cant go in there anymore and tinkle. Yippee!!! Mahna loves it! And it is like a big play room now instead of a cramped up bedroom that she never even slept in. We have the crib in our room so it is a little crampy in ours but we spend WAY more time in hers!

Say a little prayer for my brother, he really needs all the guardian angels he can get watching out for him.

free stuff

YO homeys. Anyone left reading? haha. Well I am getting rid of a computer desk so if anyone is interested call me, email me or just come by my house. I may be just putting it out by the curb. There is NOTHING wrong with it, I just don't have anywhere to store it and I need to put Mahna's crib in my room so we can put in new carpet and have more room for guests etc. FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE COMPUTER DESK!!!!!!!!! any takers???

nothing to say

I have nothing much to say. It is 11 pm and I am tired. I would like to go to bed, but I would also like to write 4 people letters. I have been screwing around on the internet for over an hour now and it is just precious non-baby time that I am wasting. I have to wake up early to take Mahna to the DR tomorrow to get a recheck on her ears and weight. I have no houses to clean until Friday. This feels very strange to have four days in a row at home with Mahna. We had fun today. We went on a walk (she rode in the wagon) and then we came home and I put her in the stroller and we went on a walk to the vegetable market on mill street. We got some peppers, a tomatoe and some "new" potatoes. They looked yummy but I don't know why they have that name. We also got a loaf of sun dried tomatoe bread but it's not very good. Too dry and not very tomatoeish.

26 years young

Well I had a WONDERFUL birthday. My family treated me like gold and swarmed me with loving words as always........ Mahna was adorable and well it was just an awesome day. Tomorrow we are off on a family voyage to a funeral in Kansas City. My uncle Kenn passed away today.

haha

Yea, I guess it was pretty ironic to say I am squeezing in blogging between housechores when I am doing the "frazzled female" study. Funny I didn't see it that way when I wrote it! I actually think the goofy thing is that I felt the need to BLOG. but this is my connection to some people, and I enjoy keeping this semi-journal of thoughts or events. It may be fun for Mahna to read someday, my thoughts and daily routines while she was just a tiny tike.

Jarrod mentioned "baby #2" tonight. haven't heard that one in a while. I told him before if we want them 2 yrs apart I would be getting pregnant around December.......... Now I don't know. I can't really imagine my stress level with having two. I also don't know if I could clean houses having two kids. I mean, maybe Mahna could go to work with daddy and the baby could go to gma or my moms........... But everything is working out so well right now and I just love my time with Mahna. I hate to take attention away from her with a new demanding needy baby. She is my little princess! how could I downgrade that??? (do I sound like I am asking for convincing?)

So anyway I am really really enjoying a couple hours of quietness now. I was with Mahna and my two neices (age 6 and 9) for 12 hours straight today. We had a blast, and I got frustrated here and there, but it was a good good day. I just can't believe NOW that it is 11 something at night how peacefully Mahna is sleeping (worn out!) and how much I am just truly enjoying silence. I have the TV muted. I enjoyed an hour long phone call with my sister, I FINALLY did my sinkfull of dishes, my kitchen is clean, the house clutter free (mostly) and I have been reading posts in chat rooms or whatever they are called on babycenter. com about weaning and extended breastfeeding. I never have time to do more than email quickly, short blog or check the bank account. So it was cool to read some comments from strangers about what they are going thru with their kids the same age as Mahna....

I think I might crash now.......... night night

asd;lfkjasdopijblekmal;skdnnfoi

Couldn't think of a title, don't have time to worry about it. Mahna is napping but not for long. i am cramming in two days of bible study in THE FRAZZLED FEMALE which seems so far to be an enlightening study we are doing in MOPS, some emailing which I haven't done in a couple days, a quick blog entry, check the bank account, hopefully vaccuum the living room, clean Mahna's room and finish laundry??? okay it is wishful thinking, but I am going to try! I noticed yesterday that some women who are older and have enormous bosom are the best huggers. I also noticed that men are more picky about their toilet bowl being clean than women because they stare down into it so much! hahahahhahahh Thanks for reading adios

Success!!!!!!!!!

Mahna stayed in the nursery today! Not just for church but for Sunday School too! I got a page to go to the nursery after church was over and I thought she was being too fussy again, but nope, she was playing on the floor with one of the nursery workers. I think it made a difference that last week at the 6:30 service there were only two teenage girls working. This time there was older women and one woman who was really nice and friendly. I did worry about her here and there but I tried to turn my focus back to what I was there for. And afterward my mom went to the nursery w/ me to pick her up and she just clung to my mom and didn't want me at all so I guess she was mad at me, or maybe just really wanting my mom! :)

blogger envy

I am having a pity party, so indulge me or just stop reading now.

Other people have lots of comments on their blog, every time they write. I sometimes write 3 entries before anyone comments. Maybe it is because I write about things that there is nothing to comment about. Or maybe no one reads my blog. Who ever said being a house wife means that your world gets very small, they were right. I am fighting against this though. I go to MOPS at Lakeland and am damn determined to go to church at Crossroads at least for now, at least to give it a fair chance. Mahna got kicked out of the nursery tonight when I tried to go, because she was crying. So it will be a challenge, no doubt, but I am determined. Not for social reasons, but because I want her to have sunday school and all that on a regular basis. I want to give her some forms of stability, since I myself am a basket case who can't seem to stick with anything long enough to make it matter. I am angry at myself, but I am not punishing myself, I just want to fix the things I do not like. For me, I want to fix them. I want to like who I am and be secure in who I am so I don't have to alter my words thoughts ideas to please someone else. i want to be a rock. How is that for a goal?
I am staying this past friday thru monday at my parents house, "babysitting" anna and franky. It has been quite fun, really. I do miss Jarrod, who is enjoying having a bed all to himself and listening to music loud at all hours of the night like he always did before Mahna was born. I don't think it is horrible to have a few day break once in a while. On the second night I stayed here we talked on the phone for 66 minutes in the middle of the night. That was fun.... it was like old times when I was still in Utah and he was here and we only saw eachother every 2 months. He drove at night then (job) and we would talk all night long, once for four hours....... he had quite an enormous cell phone bill. I think it might have been like $400 once. I had a really huge long distance bill too. Anyways. I guess I knew to marry him because of all those long conversations so far away..... well Mahna is awake. Goodnight.

HALLOWEEN!!!!!

`Costume time is coming! I am sooooooo excited cuz Nikki told me about this awesome website that has every costume you can think of and they have tons of BABY costumes so yippee!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to share the website so everyone can get their costumes early enough!

www.buycostumes.com

commercial

I would like to pass on some lovely information about two new products I recently discovered. It is quite possible the rest of the world already knows about them, but I am passing them on nonetheless.

#1 is Johnson and Johnson Baby Vapor bath
This is basically vicks bubble bath. It is so awesome!!! What could be better than soaking in a warm bath with vicks bubbles when you have a cold or stuffy nose???? I have been using it for mahna for a few days, but I think it is just as awesome for adults. Available at Walmart for like $3.50. I would like to thank JANA for always knowing the latest baby gizmos and passing on the info to me!

#2 Wood Oil
I am not going to reccommend any certain brand of this but I bought the cheapest one for about $2.50 (at Walmart of course). I got the one with lemon oil. It advertises to be used on wood, so I polished up my piano with it, which is pitiful looking all scratched up and has rings from people's glasses being set on it. Well it sure does look a HECK of a lot better now! I can't believe how much "oiling it up" did for it's appearance! So now I am obsessed with OILING PEOPLE'S WOOD. Yes, every house that I clean I am scoping out a piece of furniture that is oilable. By the way I did it just like dusting, just a little oil on a cloth scrub a dub! AND as an added bonus the oil also takes soap scum right off shower doors and handles! I have been looking forever to find something to do that, and who would have thought lemon oil would be the thing???

That is all for now my 30 second commercial.

another weekend gone

It is 11 at night and I just now realized today was the four year anniversary of nine eleven. I wonder if it was not on the news or if i just wasn't watching the news???

I have been trying for over a week now to print and send pictures to a few people whom I think might care to have printed pictures from Mahna's first birthday. I am very tired...... Mahna was up like every HOUR last night. I tried holding her and laying her on my chest to sleep, which she really liked but I couldn't sleep then and I would move around too much for her to stay asleep very long. I think I was awake from 3-5 a.m. straight, just thinking and struggling to keep her and I both comfy. She has a bad cough and stuffy nose. So I finally got her to sleep next to me later like around 9 this morning or something and she slept til about 12:30. Jarrod always sleeps in on the weekends, so he was very suprised we were still in bed with him when he woke up.

I spent the afternoon at the in-laws playing with Tina and Katherine (my nieces) which was fun, then we went to wally world to get a humidifier for MaHna and look at halloween costumes and decorations for an hour or so. So far I haven't found a costume small enough for my poopkins. I think I need to check out Once Upon A Child before they get too picked over.

Yesterday we went to a party at CinCin's and it was really fun!!!!! All us women folk hung out outside talking about babies and stuff like hair products etc. The men stayed inside watching the Longhorns WIN. There was some yummy food and I got to drink Smirnoff Ice.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I didn't go to church. I figured they wouldn't let Mahna in the nursery with a cough like she has. maybe next weekend........... Hopefully she will be feeling much better by then!

So there ya go......... another weekend gone.

Do I talk about Mahna too much?

I notice that every post is about her. Maybe I should find other things to discuss also? But while we are on the subject of her (haha) she is very grumpy the last two days. She seems to be throwing fits about everything. She no longer has a fever, but I know she is still teething, she hates ORAJEL (the numbing teething stuff) and has changed from my sweet baby who would always take her medicine easily, into a baby who spits it all over me when I give her tylenol. I got to quite a point of frustration being home with her all day yesterday. We did go to the lake for a little while with Jarrod during his lunch break, but then the rest of the afternoon just seemed to go on and on and on and the house seemed so small. It was like we ran out of things to do or play with and she was cranky so I just felt like I couldn't make her happy. She got two naps so I dont' think she was tired, ugh... it sucks just not knowing what to do. My mom watched her about 6 hours today while I cleaned and ironed for a customer. I have never ironed so much in my life and my back is KILLING ME!!! But I am glad to have money for groceries etc now. I felt bad that Mahna was so grumpy for my mom today, but I am glad my mom is so sweet about it and loves her so much. Mahna also hasn't been sleeping very well. I still have not put her in her crib, and at bedtime I never want to, but in the middle of the night I sure wish I would have. But then when she starts sleeping in her crib won't she still wake up every few hours in pain because of her teeth or wanting to nurse? Where is my instruction manual???

On other kiddo news....... Gold turned SEVEN years old today! My gosh! And in celebration of his birthday I would like to thank a few people. My parents, Kendra, Franky and Anna for being so supportive and not manipulative or selfish about his adoption, then and now. Lynne and Kelly for really taking on the role of parenting and giving it 100% of themselves for him. Brent for being there to help me break the news to my parents that I was pregnant at 18 years old, I will never forget you for that. My friends who care to ask about him and who stay positive for my mental sake. You all rock!

Gold will be celebrating with a open house party and took popsicles to school today. I asked him what his favorite part about his birthday was and he said THE PARTY! Which I thought was very cool that he didn't say THE PRESENTS! :) He is a smart amazing kid and I am truly glad I gave birth to him seven years ago today.

THE END

not too shabby

Well the weekend wasn't HORRIBLE like I thought it would be. I went to the DR and he gave me free medicine, so that was kewl. I made it home in time (from the DR) to put Mahna in the stroller and walk up the street for the "Western Days Parade". I figured we would stay a few minutes and walk back home, but she really loved it! We made it just in time for the beginning and it took about 30 min. to pass by. She loved the girls twirling flags, the marching band, and the horses. She got to eat a sucker which she smeared all over her face and enjoyed thoroughly. It made me look forward to the future and all the things we can do while she is a kiddo. I see how having a kid can give you a good excuse to do things you might feel silly doing otherwise, even though it would be perfectly fine to go to a local parade just because. The rest of the weekend Mahna has been pretty pitiful. She has a fever from teething, diaper issues from her antibiotic and just kind of limpness from fever and pain medicine and lack of sleep. I have spaceyness from medicine, lack of sleep and too much FOOD. How does that fit in? Well we had dinner at my parents' house after swimming. Yummy stuff and fun to see everyone loving Mahna so much. It seemed like the first time she forgot about feel crappy today while she was in the pool...................................................... ENUF FOR NOW>>>>ADIOS

Chancy Choice and depression

Hello again. As you may notice we got Mahna's ears pierced for her birthday. I have been debating it ever since she was tiny. I would say NO way am I getting her ears pierced, then well, maybe I will........ Well together Jarrod and I decided we would go for it on her bday. She was amazing. She totally didn't get upset. She got spooked for just a minute and then was fine as soon as she got her sucker. I felt like the worst mom sitting there getting her ears pierced. The girl who did it (at Piercing Pagoda) was so professional. I am really glad we didn't go to Claires. I guess I feel the need to explain my reasoning behind getting her ears pierced at one year old. I figure at this young of an age she woulnd't notice them very much and I can take good care of them for her and let them heal before she is old enough to mess with them. She has not even TOUCHED them since they got pierced...which amazes me. I have seen my niece go through several ear piercings..... and she is 9 now and does not have pierced ears anymore but has so much scar tissue from them being pierced and closing up weeks or months later that she might not ever have normal pierced ears. I also figure with a little glimmer of hope that if she doesn't remember the feeling of being pierced maybe she won't catch the piercing/self mutilation bug that I had. Not that I am really against piercing or regret any of my piercings... but the self destructive desire to HURT myself, that was not good. Blah blah blah....... my problems are minute and unimportant. I am so hooked on watching the news about New Orleans right now I am literally obsessed. I am home watching on TV, I am in the car listening. I am on the phone discussing......... It's just so sad. So horribly devastating.
But back to my meaning less problems. I am depressed for myself on top of Louisiana, because we had planned to go to Austin to celebrateKendra's bday tomorrow and then go to San Antonio to visit Jana Sun and Monday. Well I can't go now!!!!!!!!!! It is my own choice, but I am trying to be responsible. I caught a cold/sinus infection this past weekend and it is getting worse. I am going to the DR tomorrow but even getting medicine tomorrow isn't enough to ensure I wouldn't be contagious to Jana and her family. She has two little kiddos who I would feel so horrible for getting sick. I guess I am a wierdo because no one else seems to understand why I don't want to spread my germs around to healthy people. Maybe my conscious is out of control! haha. Anyway I am really upset because I have been looking forward to this weekend for over a month and now it is ruined. Not to mention I have to go to the DR and spend every penny I made this week to get myself healthy. (no insurance) Oh well........ life goes on, and shame on me for pitying myself when there are people sleeping in mounds of people in convention centers and arenas, with little hope of ever recovering their earthly belongings and some of them mourning lost loved ones. It weighs heavy on your heart, doesn't it?

happy birthday mahna!!!!!!!!

The first pic was the last of the day and she had just HAD ENOUGH! :) Also her playing with the monkey auntie anna got her, playing by the pool and at the bottom, picking out a bday present at toys are us with daddy. He was determined to do this and after over an hour of debating and trying to figure out what she liked, she actually got something that she has not stopped playing with!

Today is Mahna's ACTUAL first birthday. It is amazing to me that a year has gone by... I have more to say but my little one year old is demanding my assistance!!!

birthday party pictures!!!!!

I don't know why I can't get the pictures to be straight up and down instead of sideways!!! Well here are some pics from Mahna's first bday party. We had a little luau as you can see and she had a hula barbie cake which me my mom and anna made. It was so fun. She really stayed in a great mood the whole time and actually played with every present she got. Jarrod helped her open them all and put them all together. I have tons more pictures, but can only put five at a time on. So check back soon for more!!! My baby is growing up so fast!!!!