end of an era

Mahna is officially not breastfed anymore. T.M.I.? LOL. It has been about 36 hours or so and she seems to have forgotten that she ever was at all. Going to bed is a little different now. Instead of me being her comforting pacifier, I am just a warm body next to her while she screams and sits and lays and sings and gets quiet then remembers she is supposed to be fighting sleep. If you would have asked me a week ago if I could put her to bed without nursing her, I would have said no. Unfortunately Sunday night she got ill and started barfing. this was around 11. I rocked her to sleep and thought at 4 a.m. when she woke up that she was probably settled enough to nurse back to sleep. Nope, barfed it right up. So... I decided to stop nursing her, because I thought maybe it was my milk making her sick for some unknown reason. Monday she made it until 3 pm before barfing and then I realized that she must be sick and not just reacting to my milk or something she ate. Plus she was getting feverish and being all around limp and pitiful. Oh and I have been housesitting for my parents and "babysitting" franky and anna. They have been absolute angels by the way. So I have spent the last 2 days rocking Mahna a lot in my mom's comfy lazyboy rocker/recliner. Grandma has came by a few times to see me and let me take a shower, we watched Memoirs of a Geisha also (finally!). So back to the b.feeding thing. I just explained to Mahna that I could not give it to her because it made her sick and she looked at me with such a sad look, but I only had to explain it twice the first few hours and then she seemed to forget all about it. It is sad in a lot of ways..... She won't "need" me as much now and I don't get the satisfaction of comforting her in that way. But I am accepting, I know she needs to grow up and learn to fall asleep on her own without being overly dependent on her momma. A plus I believe will come from it is that last night she slept for 8 hours straight. I truly can not tell you if she has done that more than 3 times in the last 19 months! So this is a good thing, especially if I do get pregnant, I will be needing more sleep. And it will be good for her to be "over it" so she won't feel like she is sharing that part of me with the baby. My grandma said my uncle Ric forgot about his bottle 24 hours after she took it away from him. I believe it now, for sure. So anyway, housesitting has been fine, besides my poor husband being lonely here and there at home. He could have come over but it is better if he does NOT catch what Mahna has. No worky means no money. Anna has been a super help to me the whole time, since I have been confined to home for a couple days. She has got Mahna medicine, gone grocery shopping and just helped me so much. Franky has been a real sweet heart and we have had some funny conversations here and there. It is good to laugh with siblings. He is also a great cook, so here and there I was treated to flavorful snackies. Not to mention my parents have a really NICE house that is big, and has comfy carpet and plenty of SPACE.
Tomorrow it is back to semi real life, as I will go change my plea in H.V. to guilty about my ticket (that I am not guilty of but just don't care anymore) and clean for Dottie for about 2 hours. Then it is back home again to a lot of backed up laundry, and Mahna's own room/toys. TOODLES