Saturday, July 29, 2006

Sometimes I can't breathe.

Just when I thought we were getting things settled and closer to finalizing on the house, we get a lower estimate from a different mortgage company and now are 'fighting' with our current mortgage guy over a couple thousand dollars. Now on my mind is who should we trust...

Also on my mind is I need more cleaning jobs. Things are slow and I am feeling great these days (physically) and actually COULD be working a lot more often.

My own house doesn't seem clean or organized enough to start packing anything....... where do I start???????

I am so excited about the house I start crying out of thankfulness. Then I start having an anxiety attack with the reality that we are going to own a home and a large home payment...

Then there is the mom thing, there is so much I need to do to prepare her for life as it is but on top of that I must focus on my almost 8 yr old son who was adopted. I need to find ways to always let him know how much I love him even tho someday he may be very angry at me for getting married and having other children. I also have to be explaining to Mahna how special her brother is and why things turned out the way they did. And how not to set her path in life like I set mine back then...

Least importantly but still bothering me is how much weight i am gaining already and still have so long to go until the baby comes.

4 comments:

Little Me said...

Sorry about the house. It is stressful and scary, isn't it.
When is your due date? I can't remember.
Your son will grow to understand that you made the best choices you could make at the time. It is awesome that you are still able to have a relationship with him. At least you don't have to wonder where he is or if you'll ever see him again.
It's good to hear that you're feeling well. Wish I could have you out to clean MY house, but we spent all of our money buying it ;)
oh, and I'm gaining too much, too. I think stress doesn't help that.

Kendra said...

caroline: i am sorry that life right now is so unsettled. I would say that i understand because i kind of do (unemployment) but you have a LOT: house, kid stuff - that is complex - work, weight...

your heart is BIG and we love you. see you in a week or so

Joye said...

Whew! Your mind races even on a keyboard! You do have a lot to think about, a lot going on in your life, but they're all things connected to huge blessing in your life. New home to come, new baby to come, beautiful little son. Don't worry about tomorrow, Someone said. Things really do have a way of working themselves out. :)

Brent said...

Yeah, we remember doing the house thing. But Joye's right. Even when you know you can afford it stuff happens (like we've got a plumbing thing going right now) that you can't afford.

It really does all work out. Listen to Joye on this one. You won't regret it.