Boo HOO

I am bummed cuz I had to miss Tivany's going away dinner last night. I can't take Cole in public places yet and it really just doesn't work to leave him with a babysitter (family of course) even for a couple hours. He eats sometimes every hour and is still a little young for getting used to bottle and breast. Now I am afraid we are going to have to miss the super bowl party next weekend too. And I tell ya there is nothing I would love to do more than go have a drink or two and let loose a little bit. It literally has been almost a year since I did that. Although I have to say thanks to my friend for yesterday bringing me breakfast and mimosas. MM yummy Saturday morning.
It's been a fun familyish weekend. K & J are here from Austin so we had some crafty fun Fri night and thank you momma and gg for entertaining the chillin's so I could relax for a couple hours and have fun with my siblings. Last night we watched Little Miss Sunshine. I would recommend it fo' sure. It was a trip of a movie and had that independent film feel to it but not overly so. Its always cool to see Mahna play with her aunts and uncle and to see my dadeo hold baby Cole. Today Jarrod's workin on his car at his brother's house then hopefully working on cleaning the garage> I need to get started on our taxes but ugh what a job......
Hugs to all readers. Look forward to reading YOUR blog entries, too.

what am i doing blogging?

I have so much to do. All the time! Oh my gosh my life is so much busier now. I like it, though. But I do wish I could get online more without cutting into my sleep time haha.
Today lots of loads of laundry, breathing treatments for Cole, still trying to get Cole's insurance situated, Call the DR for more samples of steroid for breathing machine, Bake a cake for Jarrod, pick up mahnas toys, feed children again and again....., record a video for Gold, wrap Nikki's Christmas present, put away piles of paper accruing on counters, change sheets..... What am I doing blogging??? haha
Cole went to DR tues and he is doing better but can't be weaned to less breathing treatments yet. He is gaining weight well and weighs 9 lb 3 oz already! That is amazing. Mahna weighed 7 lb 14 oz at 3 1/2 wks old! Whe was 5 1/2 wks before she made it to 9lb 2 oz. I am glad to see he is gaining weight faster than her. She always had me worried with her slow weight gain. Of course now she is pretty much normal size for her age but still short and that is to be expected becuz of Jarrod and my height. Cole was up from 2-6 a.m. this morning. That is a frustrating thing about new born babies. It drives me bonkers seeing Mahna and Jarrod sleeping so soundly and Cole wants to be awake and being held or eating eating and more eating. I am semi attempting to keep him more awake today so he will sleep better at night, but that is hard also, between playing with Mahna and all the stuff around the house I get distracted so he falls fasssssssst asleep. Time for breathing treatment, TOODLES

THINGS I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO:
MOPS next weds (if I get to go)
Colorado vacation in July

just one picture

I am glad this is over.

thanks YO

Thanks for all the prayers. I sat in the hospital thinking that it would be all the prayers that would make the difference. It's so scary having a two week old baby hooked to machines, and breathing oxegyn. It's wierd, looking back, because the day of my c section I was having major major anxiety. So bad I turned white, almost puked, almost passed out... Anyway I am not a person prone to anxiety attacks and it was my third c section, so now looking back I wonder if it was like a premonition that everything for the next 3 weeks after that day would be majorly challenging, mentally.

H O M E

Home, sweet home. I couldn't have been happier when we drove up at 6 pm last night. There couldn't be a warmer feeling than having both of my babies and Jarrod all of us home together again. I am so thankful that Cole finally got better enough to leave the hospital after a 7 day stay. I had my moments during this week of crying out of frustration that he just was not improving. I had to really swallow down the heartache of seeing him hooked to machines and an oxegyn tube across his face. Really by the last couple days I knew he would be okay, and was thankful that he had RSV and not a heart condition or a disease. There were other kids on that floor that were on pain medicine. How sad is that? There were some babies who cried all night long, wailing crying. An older woman came to visit us and told us about watching her 7 week old granddaughter in the same metal crib fight and fight for her life and then pass away. This woman cried her eyes out and so did I over such a sad story that happened 14 years ago.... I have a lot to be thankful for.

when it rains.....

It pours. Cole was diagnosed with RSV on Tuesday afternoon, at the emergency room. This is a virus which can be mild to severe and require hospitalization. So far he is on the line. We are going again to the DR this morning to have his oxegyn saturation levels checked to see if he needs hospitalized. Please pray for him.
Our heater went out or locked up yesterday. I am calling our home warranty company and hopefully they can come out TODAY, as the house is freakin cold already. Not to mention there is a sick baby here and supposedly an ice storm coming this weekend.
I am in pain and I just have to get over it and keep moving, remembering there are people who have it much worse than I do and that there is light at the end of the tunnel.....6 weeks from now when I should be all healed.
Happy Thursday. Cole is 2 wks old today! Time's flyin'.

i just can't post

I don't know what to write. It's not like there is "nothing" going on in my life. I just don't know what to say or how to say it. If I start in about my incision issue I will sit here and whine about it, and that is pretty much on my mind all the time, so what else can I say? Cole is awesome. He is so adorable and I am truly treasuring every minute with him as I know he will grow very fast. Mahna is having a hard time behaving now that the attention is not all on her. It is also confusing to her that her mom can't pick her up anymore and everyone freaks out if she gets too close to my tummy. When Cole is asleep and Mahna is here, I try to give her lots of one on one attention. The last few nights we have been "baking" together. Last night we made brownies and tonight we made orange julius. She finally got over her fear of the blender! Haha. Now that SHE controls the button to turn it on. Jarrod has been rearranging our furniture lately because he hates our furniture. We can't just go out and buy what we want without getting into debt so I told him rearranging may make him feel better about this place where he lives. My mom has been so awesomely generous with her time taking me to the DR again and again and this week will be no exception, and on top of that Anna has to have a stomach scope done Thursday which they will have to put her to sleep for, so mom will be all over the place this week. My grandma has been keeping Mahna a lot even tho she also has this evil devil of a cold/virus that everyone in my family seems to have right now. UhOh baby cryin...... I better jump to his command! :) Thanks for reading

what's going on

Howdy readers. Thanks for the comments. My sweet little babykins is one week old now. And what a crazy week it has been..... He was born Thursday, we came home Saturday. Could have stayed til Monday but it was lonely and HOSPITALS SUCK. By the time we got home Mahna was pretty sick with fever and a bad cough. Lots of crying and not a lot of sleeping. Holiday weekend so we couldn't take her to the DR til Tuesday when we found out she has ear infection and medicine is working for her now and she is getting back to her old self. Cole had to go to the DR Tues and his biliruben levels were up. Mom had to take Mahna to the "sick waiting room" DR and I had to take Cole to the healthy side, it was a long day. THANKYOUMOM> So since his levels were up we had to go back again Weds, his levels are still at 11.8 but it isn't serious til 20 so they are assured that with lots of eating and sitting by the window in the sunlight he will be A-OK. My incision started bleeding Monday night so Tuesday I went to the DR as well, thinking they would say I worry too much and am a huge hypochondriac (sp?) Well I hadn't taken pain medicine that morning because after my appt we had to take the kids and I wanted a clear head. SO turns out they had to reopen the top layer of my incision and shove a bunch of guaze in my 1 inch deep wound. (it hurt just a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny little bit HA) So while I am trying to listen thru a cloud of tears and crazy pain, my DR is attempting half ass to explain to me how for the next four weeks my husband and mom will have to change this guaze and bandage twice a day and I will have to heal from the inside out. Oh and don' t do any housework or lift anything over 10 lbs. So I am officially only good for one thing: breastfeeding Cole. How fun is life? Once again I am so thankful for my mom and grandma who have taken care of Mahna all week while Jarrod has been at work and done all my laundry, dishes, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking meals and driving to many many DR appointments. On the pessimistic side I feel caught in a bad dream because for me, it hurts my pride to have to ask for help and I constantly feel like I am getting on everyone's nerves. On the optimistic side, I could be forced to pay someone to help me or ask from those I don't know very well for help. Ok, well I finally posted an update and I surely wish it could have been more boring like "all is well yada yada" but this was more fun wasn't it?????? :) Everyone loves a little drama.

pix

TOMORROW!

I have never been able to spell that word right (tomorrow). Did I? I can't remember if I ever got it down correctly in my head or not.

Well I am madly crazily cleaning my house (in between many sitting breaks) and doing all the laundry that has acquired. I am a nervous wreck about my c section tomorrow (that word again). All normal worries that any woman has, will my baby be ok? will everyone in the family get along? will my huz be a nervous wreck watching the two yr old for a few days?

I should have nothing to worry about considering I have the greatest family ever and I am so glad to have a lot of siblings that are all so unique and awesome individually and together. My parents couldn't be more caring and generous and my grandma is just absolute frosting on my life cake. But unfortunately I have a human brain that just can't help but worry anyways!

LOve you all and I will post pictures next week! Come visit the hospital between Thurs night and Sat night if you want!!!!!!!!!

ROCKY BALBOA

Jarrod and I did a rare thing last night. We went to a MOVIE at a THEATER. Oh and we realized why we never do this...... 2 tickets, small popcorn and a coke $26. THAT IS NUTS!!!!!!! The tickets at Grapevine Mills mall are $9 now. Jeez! Well anyway it was truly nice to get out with him. I can't tell if he realizes it as much as I do, but we really hardly get time just to ourselves, but when we do it is a good time and that kind of brightens up my heart and mind for a few days following. We saw "Rocky Balboa", as Jarrod is all into those movies and pretty much has them memorized. It was a good movie, I thought. Considering it's been like 16 years since the last Rocky movie came out, the characters were very consistant and so was the story.

So now I am 38 weeks and one day pregnant, which is farther along than I have ever been. I was about 32 weeks with Gold and exactly 38 with Mahna. Today was my last "thursday" of being pregnant and next Thursday morning I will be at the hospital........ That is if all goes as planned. :)

AAAAAAAAAAAAh

Time is flying by! Oh my gosh only 9 days (well less than that) until Cole is born! Mahna and I have been making the most of our days together. Although I get grumpy with her here and there I think we are really making the most of our few moments left alone together. Yesterday we spent the day with my mom which was fun and today we spent the day with Jarrod's mom, which is a very rare treat. We ate Italian food for lunch and I sold some CD's to add to Jarrod's Christmas gift fund. I am trying to save up to get him an IPOD! If you talk to him, don't leak the secret. He never reads my blog so I'm not worried about him seeing this. He has been talking about wanting an IPOD forever and ever. I think it is something he will really enjoy, but we will see if I can sell enough stuff to get it by Christmas or not! If not I can always just buy him a few smaller gifts and that will be cool, too. A good thing about Movie Trading Company is they will give you $2-$3 per CD even for old stuff, where CD Warehouse only gives you like a dollar and is much more picky about scratches. I ran into two grumpy people today. One at Movie Trading Co. The alarm went off right as I was walking in the door. Here I am 9 mo. pregnant with a 2 yr old and my very innocent looking mother in law with me, and yet I get suspicious looks for the whole 30 min I was in there. The girl at the counter was so snotty when I gave her my CD's to sell and then she came around to the back of the store and asked me if I needed help while looking at my big purse not at me. The second grumpy person was at Kid 2 Kid or however you spell it. It is a resale kids clothing store and this old hag who owns or runs that store has no concept of customer service or friendliness. She always acts so annoyed to anyone coming in there to sell things. It is a resale shop!!! DUH. Anyway she nitpicked something about each item in the bag and was so rude and bitchy about it. She just made me feel like crap. Oh well. It isn't the first time I have gone in that store and said "never again will I walk thru this door". (said it to myself) ANyways, tonight my neices are coming over while Jarrod's parents go see a movie. Mahna is watching tv so I better go try to get something done before they all get here!
TOODLES

more focused then

I was just re-reading my posts from a few days before Mahna was born. It is funny how I was feeling a lot of the same things then that I am now. And this time I keep thinking that everything is sooo much more uncomfortable this time etc etc. I do think well know that I am bigger this time so I am hoping that means a bigger baby (Mahna weighed 7 lbs) and not just that I am more of a heffer this time. But most of the complaints I have this time are same as last time like heartburn, sleeplessness, backpains, worry over bringing the baby home. Funny though before Mahna was born I was saying "how do people have a kid at home and still make it thru pregnancy?" Now I know, you just do. You just make it through whatever is thrown your way no matter what in life, right?

8 days to Christmas, 11 days to Cole

Well I still haven't called my long lost friend. It is just nice to know that I "can" now, I guess.

Mahna and I went to Southlake town square w/ my mom and gma last night. It is a really pretty peaceful place. All the lights and the fountain were really cool. We also went to a groovacious toy store called The Owl's Nest which I could have dropped a couple hundred bucks in last night easily. I noticed last night that I tend to gravitate toward looking for things my neices would like to have. It makes me wonder if I will "know" what Mahna likes when she is their age as much as I feel like I know what my neices like. I think I always want to buy something for them cuz I feel sorry for them not living with their parents. They don't have a grandma able to spoil them like my mom spoils Mahna, either. Mahna is blessed in a million ways. She has so much love from all angles and then my parents and grandma always showering her with gifts on top of that. She has four very cool aunties who love to play with her...... etc etc.

After that little outing we went to the snobby neighborhoods to check out their christmas light decor. Mahna really has enjoyed looking at Christmas lights this year. I have always liked looking at them too and it is cool to have an excuse now to do it a few times a week! :) We drive up and down the streets in our neighborhood looking at the same lights over and over when we are tight on time but no matter what it gives me some kind of peaceful feeling to look at lights on houses and trees when it is dark outside.

Something very strange....

Okay something strange is going on. I am 37 weeks pregnant, 2 wks and 2 days from Cole being born and I am feeling really great.... physically. This seems very strange. My back is not hurting, I don't feel nausous, etc... Now mentally I am a little SNAPPY here and there but even that is better than I seem to remember before. How wierd! But I am glad!

My neices and mother in law came over for dinner last night. Jarrod cooked burgers and I made pasta and beans. It was fun having a nice evening with my mother in law. I don't see her much, don't really "know" her well so that was cool. We watched the "DaVinci Code". That movie was so wierd. I think a really freaking crazy person must have written that. It is an interesting concept, to think of a group of people so devoted to protecting some huge secret for hundreds of years. Watching it with Jarrod and his mom, I had a feeling of wishing I knew all about the bible and had tons of things memorized so I could like argue against the movie. I let the feeling pass me quickly, remembering that if God wants something done or known, it is not all up to me. He is the one who is all powerful and can do what needs done. There is no reason for me to worry.

I found one of my friends on MYSPACE that I really liked a lot in highschool..... the early part before I got too into Jeremy and too into drugs. She moved away and we lost track like 9 years ago I guess... So I found her and she lives in Alaska! I have talked to her online a little but haven't called her yet. Funny thing about having a two year old, there are only certain times you can really talk on the phone and this chick has no kids so a screaming one in the background or even just a constantly interrupting one may be misunderstood. What can I say, some things I just OVER worry.

Thanks for reading!

picturesssssssssssssssss

Target Sucks

I would just like to say that Target is not what I thought it was. I registered there thinking this store is a step above Walmart, ya know. But nothing I registered for is even in the freakin store (registered online) and the whole baby section is allllllways a disaster, completely unorganized and unbalanced. The only thing you really can find there is an expensive sippy cup or Amy Coe blanket (which are awesome but overprice blankies). Then there is the return policy!!!! You can't return more than two items per Y E A R without a receipt, even for store credit!! That is really bonkers. Anyway I would highly recommend not registering there for any reason. I am all about Walmart again (for that "type" of store) they have way friendlier employees and and easy returns system that doesn't make you feel like a thief or a toddler.

Trying to post pics on here, too, but Blogger is just saying "can't process your request". Hmmmm. Maybe tomorrow.

19 days til Christmas, 22 days to Cole!!!!!!

happy showering

I must say I was given the coolest baby shower ever on Saturday. Kendra had everyone decorate onesies and burp cloths (sp?) and they all turned out so awesome. It was fun to NOT have games and a lot of structure. People mostly sat or stood around talking, eating and drinking. I enjoyed it so much and everyone was so thoughtful with their gifts. It is always enjoyable having people over to my own house. It is always cool to see out of all the people you would want to come who actually WANTS to come! :) I know there were a couple ppl who wanted to but couldn't and of course out of towners that definately couldn't. So thanks to all who helped and all who came! It was a great memory of a day!

ALSO have to give a shout out to NIKKI! My dearest oldest bestest friend got engaged this weekend and is very happy about it! I am so excited for her to get planning on her wedding and a new phase in life. Love ya mucho!

the date has been set

We have set the date for Cole's birth. Thursday, Dec 28 at NOON. Please feel free to come visit us at Lewisville Hospital between 3 pm that day and Dec 31.

pics

Mahna and Franky and Penny